Forums / Off Topic / THE 2011 DARWIN AWARDS

2 years 29 weeks ago, 7:10 PM

Ishootdaily

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You've been waiting for them with bated breath, so without further ado,
here are the 2011 Darwin Awards:

Eighth Place

In Detroit, a 41-year-old man got stuck and drowned in two feet of water
after squeezing head first through an 18-inch-wide sewer grate to
retrieve his car keys.

Seventh Place

A 49-year-old San Francisco stockbroker, who "totally zoned when he
ran", accidentally jogged off a 100-foot high cliff on his daily run.

Sixth Place

While at the beach, Daniel Jones, 21, dug an 8 foot hole for protection
from the wind and had been sitting in a beach chair at the bottom, when
it collapsed, burying him beneath 5 feet of sand. People on the beach
used their hands and shovels trying to get him out but could not reach
him. It took rescue workers using heavy equipment almost an hour to free
him. Jones was pronounced dead at a hospital.

Fifth Place

Santiago Alvarado, 24, was killed as he fell through the ceiling of a
bicycle shop he was burglarizing. Death was caused when the long
flashlight he had placed in his mouth to keep his hands free rammed into
the base of his skull as he hit the floor.

Fourth Place

Sylvester Briddell, Jr., 26, was killed as he won a bet with friends who
said he would not put a revolver loaded with four bullets into his mouth
and pull the trigger.

Third Place

After stepping around a marked police patrol car parked at the front
door, a man walked into H&J Leather & Firearms intent on robbing the
store. The shop was full of customers and a uniformed officer was
standing at the counter. Upon seeing the officer, the would-be robber
announced a hold-up and fired a few wild shots from a target pistol.

The officer and a clerk promptly returned fire, and several customers
also drew their guns and fired. The robber was pronounced dead at the
scene by Paramedics. Crime scene investigators located 47 expended
cartridge cases in the shop. The subsequent autopsy revealed 23 gunshot
wounds. Ballistics identified rounds from 7 different weapons. No one
else was hurt.

HONORABLE MENTION

Paul Stiller, 47, and his wife Bonnie were bored just driving around at
2 A.M. so they lit a quarter stick of dynamite to toss out the window to
see what would happen. Apparently they failed to notice that the window
was closed.

RUNNER UP

Kerry Bingham had been drinking with several friends when one of them
said they knew a person who had bungee-jumped from a local bridge in the
middle of traffic. The conversation grew more excited, and at least 10
men trooped along the walkway of the bridge at 4:30 AM. Upon arrival at
the midpoint of the bridge, they discovered that no one had brought a
bungee rope. Bingham, who had continued drinking, volunteered and
pointed out that a coil of lineman's cable lay nearby. They secured one
end around Bingham's leg and then tied the other to the bridge. His fall
lasted 40 feet before the cable tightened and tore his foot off at the
ankle. He miraculously survived his fall into the icy water and was
rescued by two nearby fishermen. Bingham's foot was never located.

AND THE WINNER IS....

Zookeeper Friedrich Riesfeldt ( Paderborn , Germany ) fed his
constipated elephant 22 doses of animal laxative and more than a bushel
of berries, figs and prunes before the plugged-up pachyderm finally got
relief. Investigators say ill-fated Friedrich, 46, was attempting to
give the ailing elephant an olive oil enema when the relieved beast
unloaded.

The sheer force of the elephant's unexpected defecation knocked Mr
Riesfeldt to the ground where he struck his head on a rock as the
elephant continued to evacuate 200 pounds of dung on top of him. It
seems to be just one of those freak accidents that proves... 'Shit
happens'

IT ALWAYS SEEMS IMPORTANT TO THANK THESE PEOPLE FOR REMOVING
THEMSELVES FROM THE GENE POOL.

No sir, he fell into that bullet... Never argue with a stupid person. They'll just drag you down to their level and beat you with experience!!
2 years 29 weeks ago, 7:32 PM

daisycutter

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"Crime scene investigators located 47 expended
cartridge cases in the shop. The subsequent autopsy revealed 23 gunshot
wounds."

The folks should spend less time in the gun store and more time at the range.

I saw a surveillance camera clip of a bunch of punks armed with shotguns (I think) enter a pawn shop & started shooting. Clerk whipped out his .45 and tossed bullets everywhere except into the punks. It was not Dodger Stadium for Pete's sake, he should have scored on at least one of them.

iyaoyas
2 years 29 weeks ago, 7:35 PM

HampsterW

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well, if you can't hit

the broad side of a barn, from inside the barn then heaven help 'ya!!

Change you can truly believe in comes from the barrel of a gun---------------------------------------------------------------------------------Ron Paul 2012----Vote the bastards out!---------------------------------
2 years 29 weeks ago, 7:48 PM

Ishootdaily

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Hear ya DC...

I'm speaking with a guy right now who owns a chunk of property with a house and a 400 yard range on it. He has mucho funds and is an avid shooter. He also feels there is a huge disconnect with the simplicity in which people without any prior shooting getting CCW's.

We're working out the details of setting up to do classes with basic and intermediate shooting instruction for those who would like to become more proficient and not have to spend a crap load of money for a bunch of crap that will never mean anything to them in the end.

I don't knock high costing classes or the trainers. But not everyone can afford them, single moms, elderly and others who do not have the cash to throw $400.00 for 5 hours of shooting only to be told they need to take more classes.

Kind of figure if we can get them on the range and work with them as a group and then individually at the normal price of a day of shooting it should work out alright.

No sir, he fell into that bullet... Never argue with a stupid person. They'll just drag you down to their level and beat you with experience!!
2 years 29 weeks ago, 8:14 PM

Vaquero

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ISD

Let me know if it pans out.
I'll pay full rate for me and the girls.
St. Pete sounds good for a family trip.
My buddy Shon in A-stan ought to be home soon. How far are ya from Ft. Walton?

The truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth!
2 years 29 weeks ago, 8:16 PM

Vaquero

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General of the Army
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My bad,

Ft. Myers.

The truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth!
2 years 29 weeks ago, 8:10 PM

daisycutter

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the first time. I had a bunch of bad habits to break.

My first pistol was a 1911A1, used to hunt rabbits, didn't hit many but the ones I did hit were a mess. Not much usable meat. What ya expect from a 14 year old?

When I was 18 and in the Navy I had to break those habits and I think I could hit a heck of a lot more rabbits now :<)

.

iyaoyas
2 years 29 weeks ago, 8:32 PM

HampsterW

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Rank:
Secretary of State
Points:
7723
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Jan 2010
Location:
Cottonwood Heights, Utah, United States

always been a staunch proponent of Second Amendment right's but I believe there should be a proficiency test in place to make sure that any individual getting a permit is actually educated in the use of a firearm. In my CCP class, I remember one lady who kept asking about the legalities of shooting her ex, now I don't know the situation, nor do I care to but that was just down right spooky. Another dude was what I would consider a "hot head", in my opinion he shouldn't be carrying a gun. A lot of people getting their CCP permits in UT do so just to avoid the background check fee to buy a firearm, sad but true!

Change you can truly believe in comes from the barrel of a gun---------------------------------------------------------------------------------Ron Paul 2012----Vote the bastards out!---------------------------------
2 years 29 weeks ago, 8:42 PM

daisycutter

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only the 3 of us, brought their brand new .22 SA 6 shooter with a barrel about 8" long.
No hearing or eye protection, I loaned them mine. The instructor explained why a "hog leg" in .22 my not be the best choice for concealed carry. He also said you have to qual with an autoloader or get a restricted revolver only permit. They ended up using his Glock 9mm.
They were as green as grass. I doubt they knew enough to enjoy shooting.
A shooting school would do them a world of good, cop should have told them but did not.

I'm with you on that, training, training, training!

iyaoyas
2 years 29 weeks ago, 8:59 PM

Ishootdaily

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Rank:
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Vaq

couple of hours north on the same coast.

I should be face to face with him this weekend and know more about whats going to happen.

No sir, he fell into that bullet... Never argue with a stupid person. They'll just drag you down to their level and beat you with experience!!

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