Forums / Off Topic / 3 Assholes and a Marine

5 years 23 weeks ago, 7:45 AM

samD

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Katie Couric, Charlie Gibson, Brian Williams and a tough old U.S. Marine
Sergeant were captured by terrorists in Iraq . The leader of the Iraqi
terrorists told them he'd grant each of them one last request before they
were beheaded and dragged naked through the streets.

Katie Couric said, ''Well, I'm a Southerner, so I'd like one last plate
of fried chicken.'' The leader nodded to an underling who left and
returned with the chicken. Couric ate it all and said, ''Now I can die
content.''

CharlieC2 Gibson said, ''I live in New York , so I'd like to hear the song
The Moon and Me' one last time..'' The terrorist's leader nodded to another
terrorist who had studied the Western world and knew the music. He returned
with some rag-tag musicians and played the song. Gibson was satisfied.

Brian Williams said, ''I'm a reporter to the end. I want to take out my
tape recorder and describe the scene here and what's about to happen.
Maybe, someday, someone will hear it and know that I was on the job till
the end.'' The leader directed an aide to hand over the tape recorder and
Williams dictated his comments. He then said, ''Now I can die happy.''

The leader turned and said, ''And now, Mr. US Marine, what is your final
wish?''

''Kick me in the ass,'' said the Marine.

''What?'' asked the Islamic terrorist, 'Will you mock us in your last
hour?''

''No, I'm NOT kidding. I want you to kick me in the ass,'' insisted the
Marine.

So the terrorist shoved him into the yard and kicked him in the ass. The
Marine went sprawling, but rolled to his knees, pulled a 9 mm pistol from
inside his cammies and shot the leader dead. In the resulting confusion,
he emptied his sidearm on six terrorists, with his knife he slashed the
throat of the one with an AK-47, which he took, and sprayed the rest of the
terrorists killing another 11!

In a flash, all of them were either dead or fleeing for their lives.. As
the Marine was untying Couric, Gibson and Williams, they asked him, ''Why
didn't you just shoot them all in the first place? Why did you ask him to
kick you in the ass?''

''What!?!'' replied the Marine, ''and have you three assholes report that
I was the aggressor?''

5 years 22 weeks ago, 7:55 AM

scudrunnernrh

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good one

good one

We're not going to just shoot the sons-of-bitches, we're going to rip out their living guts and use them to grease the treads of our tanks. Gen. George S. Patton
5 years 22 weeks ago, 12:05 PM

scudrunnernrh

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well, there is the fact that dead men (and women) tell no tales and colateral losses are a bitch, but sometimes unavoidable in WAR. oops says the marine, the dumbasses jumped in my way................sorry

We're not going to just shoot the sons-of-bitches, we're going to rip out their living guts and use them to grease the treads of our tanks. Gen. George S. Patton
5 years 22 weeks ago, 4:34 PM

jmhuthut

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!

This is great samD!!!

You don't get to choose how you are going to die or when. You can only decide how you're going to live.
4 years 33 weeks ago, 7:18 PM

Sono34

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Nice

Very nice man. Sad thing is that its very true.

4 years 33 weeks ago, 8:27 PM

Builtf0rdtough

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lmao. thats awesome

lmao. thats awesome

"Socialism is the philosophy of failure, the creed of ignorance, and the gospel of envy"-Winston Churchill
4 years 32 weeks ago, 11:08 PM

runawaygun762

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avatar I have ever seen. Well done. I may actually find that and set it as my desktop picture.

"I have always been a soldier. I have known no other life. The calling of arms, I have followed from boyhood. I have never sought another." From The Virtues of War, by Steven Pressfield.
4 years 32 weeks ago, 11:11 PM

Sono34

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Why thank you runaway.

Why thank you runaway.

4 years 32 weeks ago, 11:16 PM

runawaygun762

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I started getting pretty jumpy on my second Iraq tour. Escorting EOD for eight months, 3-9 detonations a day will wear on you. But I can't wait to get my blaster's license.

"I have always been a soldier. I have known no other life. The calling of arms, I have followed from boyhood. I have never sought another." From The Virtues of War, by Steven Pressfield.
4 years 32 weeks ago, 11:18 PM

Sono34

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Shit man you escorted EOD teams for a living?

4 years 32 weeks ago, 11:23 PM

runawaygun762

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I did get to see what a mosque looks like after setting it on fire, and I got to see what 15 cases of C4, at 37.5 pounds per case plus a 200+/- pound SA-2 SAM warhead looks like when it goes up. It bent metal telephone poles over and left a crater about 8 feet deep and 15 feet in diameter.

"I have always been a soldier. I have known no other life. The calling of arms, I have followed from boyhood. I have never sought another." From The Virtues of War, by Steven Pressfield.
4 years 24 weeks ago, 10:49 PM

Tamed

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hahah

hahahah funny as hell!

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