Forums / Off Topic / Amazing Simple Home Remedies!!

4 years 26 weeks ago, 4:48 PM

ACE

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Amazing Simple Home Remedies

1. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP.

2. AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT BY USING THE SINK.

3. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER.

4. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON.

5. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU'LL BE AFRAID TO COUGH.

6. YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE - WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT DOESN'T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40. IF IT SHOULDN'T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE.

7. IF YOU CAN'T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU'VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM.

DAILY THOUGHT:

SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES - NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS.

“When firearms go, all goes. We need them every hour.”- George Washington
4 years 26 weeks ago, 5:18 PM

Vaquero

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Home remedies

#2, Dad always told me you can't please women.
If you go out and pee off the porch onto the yard, they don't like it.
If you stand in the yard and pee on the porch, they still don't like it!

The truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth!
4 years 26 weeks ago, 5:25 PM

ACE

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It'll kill my

plants or flowers!!! Im not that picky!! He pee's outside all the time. Thats one of the benefits, (to me) of living in the country!!! And @ least Im not like a friend of mine, She got so pissed @ her hubby, that she put saran wrap under the seat, and he pissed all over the place. That was a bit harsh to me, but he never left the seat up again!! LOL!!

“When firearms go, all goes. We need them every hour.”- George Washington
4 years 26 weeks ago, 6:59 PM

Vaquero

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#3

Seriously, I always kinda wondered about that.
Why the hell not? Maybe the gals just have more flow than those without hypertension.

The truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth!
4 years 26 weeks ago, 5:29 PM

Vaquero

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ACE

That saran wrap thing works both ways!
Maybe even better for the "setters"!
LOL!

The truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth!
4 years 26 weeks ago, 5:42 PM

ACE

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I know exactly

whatcha mean Vaq!!! Like I said, Ive never done it, nor do I plan on doing it either. But the look on his face was probably priceless, tho!!!

“When firearms go, all goes. We need them every hour.”- George Washington
4 years 26 weeks ago, 5:48 PM

Schuyler

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and you turn all potty mouth.

"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing." - Edmund Burke
4 years 26 weeks ago, 5:50 PM

Ebear

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um

im not wearing any pants right now

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4 years 26 weeks ago, 5:51 PM

ACE

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Dadgummit ebear!!!

I was trying to eat!!!!! Im not hungry anymore!!!!

“When firearms go, all goes. We need them every hour.”- George Washington
4 years 26 weeks ago, 5:52 PM

Ebear

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ace

i've got some shit wrapped up in serran wrap if ur interested

...check... G-AZ
4 years 26 weeks ago, 5:54 PM

ACE

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Bite me ebear!!

Thats nasty!!! Put it in a paper bag, and set it on the neighbors porch, then set it on fire!!!! Just make sure U get a vid. of it!! LOL!!!

“When firearms go, all goes. We need them every hour.”- George Washington
4 years 26 weeks ago, 5:54 PM

luckybychoice

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a see through

recycled Burrito?

i tried being reasonable,i didn't like it, NRA LIFE MEMBER,USMC VETERAN
4 years 26 weeks ago, 5:56 PM

Ebear

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mmmmmm

taste like ............shit!!!lolololol

...check... G-AZ
4 years 26 weeks ago, 5:58 PM

ACE

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UGGHHHH!!!!

Hows everybody been doing the last couple of days???

“When firearms go, all goes. We need them every hour.”- George Washington
4 years 26 weeks ago, 6:01 PM

Ebear

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im fine

but i have this shit eatin grin all of a sudden

...check... G-AZ
4 years 26 weeks ago, 6:03 PM

ACE

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Well if U add in

a giggle or 2, U'll be as GregAZ always says, "For shits and giggles"!!! LOL

“When firearms go, all goes. We need them every hour.”- George Washington
4 years 26 weeks ago, 6:03 PM

samD

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He has been moving and is finally getting his family back together under 1 roof.
He has sattelite internet and it is real slow now and hopes to get it moving faster. He says, to say Hi to all.

4 years 26 weeks ago, 6:05 PM

Vaquero

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Thanks boss

I look forward to it!

The truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth!
4 years 26 weeks ago, 6:06 PM

ACE

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Let Mike know

he's been missed, and cant wait to hear from him again!!! And congrats on the family getting all back under 1 roof. Once theyr settled in, Im sure it'll be a load off his shoulders...

“When firearms go, all goes. We need them every hour.”- George Washington
4 years 26 weeks ago, 6:07 PM

Ebear

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speaking of loads

...............

...check... G-AZ
4 years 26 weeks ago, 6:40 PM

HampsterW

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Hey sam

did he move to AZ? I miss out on things at night, with satellite internet is he living on the moon?...lol

Change you can truly believe in comes from the barrel of a gun---------------------------------------------------------------------------------Ron Paul 2012----Vote the bastards out!---------------------------------
4 years 26 weeks ago, 6:42 PM

samD

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He is at 5000' ele above the Grapevine, in californication

4 years 26 weeks ago, 6:50 PM

HampsterW

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Napa county?

samD wrote:
He is at 5000' ele above the Grapevine, in californication

That kind of elevation 'is' a refrigerator and Mother nature works on it, talk about redundant......

Change you can truly believe in comes from the barrel of a gun---------------------------------------------------------------------------------Ron Paul 2012----Vote the bastards out!---------------------------------
4 years 26 weeks ago, 6:57 PM

samD

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Not Napa County.

On Hiway 5 between Bakersfield & LA

4 years 26 weeks ago, 7:02 PM

Vaquero

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Cold ass coast!

The truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth!
4 years 26 weeks ago, 7:05 PM

HampsterW

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Bakersfield is hotter

than hell, talk about a 'heat sink'...When I was a kid, we went through Bakersfield on our way to Tahoe from San Francisco, I just remember it was HOT!

Change you can truly believe in comes from the barrel of a gun---------------------------------------------------------------------------------Ron Paul 2012----Vote the bastards out!---------------------------------
4 years 26 weeks ago, 6:04 PM

Ebear

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ace

thats disgusting!!!!

...check... G-AZ
4 years 26 weeks ago, 6:07 PM

ACE

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It's 100 times better

than U eating a shit burrito!!!!! LOL!!

“When firearms go, all goes. We need them every hour.”- George Washington
4 years 26 weeks ago, 6:09 PM

Ebear

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lmao

we make em.....you honkeys eat them.....lolol

...check... G-AZ
4 years 26 weeks ago, 12:08 PM

OozeRat

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I'm "recycling" a burrito right now ebear you want me to ups it to ya when I'm done? Brings a whole new meaning to brown truck o happiness.

Nothing is as risky as certain failure.
4 years 26 weeks ago, 6:13 PM

samD

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ebear-shitski

Illegal immigrants are like Sperm,
21 million enter and only 1 works.

I hope it is cold in Chicago and your chingaderos freeze.
Don't be talkin' smack about us Honkeys.
That's how we got the name. At least we honk before we try to run you over.

4 years 26 weeks ago, 6:17 PM

samD

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I need to call the wench over for a drink.
Brandy Manhattan, por favor.

Ducks as brandy bottle sails by!

4 years 26 weeks ago, 6:19 PM

ACE

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:~)

“When firearms go, all goes. We need them every hour.”- George Washington
4 years 26 weeks ago, 6:17 PM

ACE

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Get him Sam!!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! What now ebear????

“When firearms go, all goes. We need them every hour.”- George Washington
4 years 26 weeks ago, 6:18 PM

HampsterW

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fleabear

su perro es una puta !!!!!!!!

Change you can truly believe in comes from the barrel of a gun---------------------------------------------------------------------------------Ron Paul 2012----Vote the bastards out!---------------------------------
4 years 26 weeks ago, 6:20 PM

ACE

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Ok Hamp!!

Translate for the spanish illiterate!! I wanna laugh too!!

“When firearms go, all goes. We need them every hour.”- George Washington
4 years 26 weeks ago, 6:22 PM

HampsterW

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ACE,

ACE wrote:
Translate for the spanish illiterate!! I wanna laugh too!!

I called his dog a whore....LOL!

Change you can truly believe in comes from the barrel of a gun---------------------------------------------------------------------------------Ron Paul 2012----Vote the bastards out!---------------------------------
4 years 26 weeks ago, 6:26 PM

ACE

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Thank U!!

And did U know that on my computer, when I type out the word spanish, its underlined as an "improper word"!!! LOL!! And U heard him ebear!! Ur dog's a whore!!!

“When firearms go, all goes. We need them every hour.”- George Washington
4 years 26 weeks ago, 6:30 PM

HampsterW

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~

Change you can truly believe in comes from the barrel of a gun---------------------------------------------------------------------------------Ron Paul 2012----Vote the bastards out!---------------------------------
4 years 26 weeks ago, 6:19 PM

hillbilly77

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#1. The upper decker: You crap in the holding tank so when the person flushes the crapper a turd will wash down into the bowl.Most people get way confused.
#2. Buy yourself about 4 boxes of clear Jello and dump them in the toilet bowl, let chill in the cold throne and it gets solid. The first person to take a leak gets splatter cause they are pissin on a gel block.

WARNING!!!!!!!!!!!!! The wife finds neither on of these funny.

“If ever time should come,when vain and aspiring men shall possess the highest seats in government, our country will stand in need of it's experienced Patriots to prevent it's ruin."Samuel Adams
4 years 26 weeks ago, 6:21 PM

ACE

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hillbilly77

Ive never heard of those B 4!! Im gonna have to try them, in someone else's toilet of course!!! LOL!

“When firearms go, all goes. We need them every hour.”- George Washington
4 years 26 weeks ago, 6:35 PM

HampsterW

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Do you people stay up

late at night (don't answer that) dreaming this shit up??

Change you can truly believe in comes from the barrel of a gun---------------------------------------------------------------------------------Ron Paul 2012----Vote the bastards out!---------------------------------
4 years 26 weeks ago, 6:47 PM

Schuyler

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It went out every time it rained. Dish Network sucked and I finally fired them. It felt so good to tell them to go to hell! My daughter has satellite internet through Verizon that used a USB port and a small antenna that works far better. About $50 a month and she can use it anywhere on her laptop.

"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing." - Edmund Burke
4 years 26 weeks ago, 6:49 PM

samD

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It rains all the time... LOL

4 years 26 weeks ago, 6:51 PM

HampsterW

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Works good in

Arizona.

Change you can truly believe in comes from the barrel of a gun---------------------------------------------------------------------------------Ron Paul 2012----Vote the bastards out!---------------------------------
4 years 26 weeks ago, 6:55 PM

Schuyler

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dishes almost horizontally to get to the equatorial birds so trees get in the way as well. I took the dishes to the dump!

"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing." - Edmund Burke
4 years 26 weeks ago, 7:07 PM

Schuyler

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One long ass hill there. I hope he's away from I-5 itself. That's a grinder of a highway. When I hit it coming off of State Route 16 I always think it's "The Monster." Busy and dangerous from Bellingham to San Diego.

"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing." - Edmund Burke
4 years 26 weeks ago, 7:12 PM

samD

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Daughter went to school at San Diego State. I left home in Danville 1 am at 4am was in SD for breakfast a little before 9am. 430 miles. Chevy Caprice LT1 on the chip at 106mph, it was limited to stutter at 107mph, most of the way. No one on the road.
From what I remember, Mike is east and at 5000' It actually snows up there.

4 years 26 weeks ago, 7:15 PM

ecaman

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Schuyler

DISH is gonna sue you to get the cost of their dishes back, plus file charges on you for criminal mischief. DISH is under the influence of George Soros (or one of those super liberals), and will piss in conservative's Wheaties.

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man. (Mark Twain).
4 years 26 weeks ago, 7:17 PM

samD

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But slowly & painfully back in Poland where he and his dad stole all the real estate.

4 years 26 weeks ago, 10:08 PM

Bigshot Nobody

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See, I told you

I always get here too late.

"We fight not for Glory nor for Honors; but only and alone we fight for Freedom, which no Good Man surrenders but with his life" - Robert the Bruce "Declaration of Arbroath"
4 years 26 weeks ago, 10:22 PM

HampsterW

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Big shot,

i know it's been tough lately, keep a stiff upper lip old boy! At the risk of sounding like a Sasanach...lol!

Change you can truly believe in comes from the barrel of a gun---------------------------------------------------------------------------------Ron Paul 2012----Vote the bastards out!---------------------------------
4 years 26 weeks ago, 11:35 PM

raffycanlas

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omg lol

I'm just another damn yankee with a loaded gun looking for some fun!
4 years 24 weeks ago, 8:54 PM

runawaygun762

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and he really lights up when I let him pee on daddy's truck tire. My boy's getting so big. Next thing, he'll be hanging mexicans from the tree just like daddy.

"I have always been a soldier. I have known no other life. The calling of arms, I have followed from boyhood. I have never sought another." From The Virtues of War, by Steven Pressfield.

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