Forums / Off Topic / Chuck Norris

5 years 17 weeks ago, 5:20 AM

Pkato

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Rank:
General
Points:
3348
Join Date:
Aug 2008
Location:
Fort Walton Beach, Florida, United States
Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris should have his own category on Gunslot.com

1. If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
2. There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
3. Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.
4. Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
5. Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay's potato chip.
6. Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.
7. Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
8. Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

More...
http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/

PKato
HIIC
T-Minus 2.5 days

Patrolman Kato
Firearms stand next in importance to the Constitution itself.
They are the American people's liberty teeth and keystone
under independence. -- George Washington
5 years 17 weeks ago, 6:19 AM

runawaygun762

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Vice President
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8929
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Nov 2008
Location:
Richland, MO, United States
Chuck is great

"Chuck Norris is so fast he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head". Probably my favorite.

"I have always been a soldier. I have known no other life. The calling of arms, I have followed from boyhood. I have never sought another." From The Virtues of War, by Steven Pressfield.
5 years 17 weeks ago, 7:29 AM

Pkato

Pkato's picture

Rank:
General
Points:
3348
Join Date:
Aug 2008
Location:
Fort Walton Beach, Florida, United States
My favorite is

Chuck Norris uses viagra as eye drops, just so he can look hard!

Patrolman Kato
Firearms stand next in importance to the Constitution itself.
They are the American people's liberty teeth and keystone
under independence. -- George Washington
5 years 17 weeks ago, 8:54 AM

samD

samD's picture

Rank:
President
Points:
15597
Join Date:
Aug 2008
Location:
Green Valley, Free State of Arizona, United States

and used Battery Acid in his eyes... Visine, what a wimp...

5 years 17 weeks ago, 9:12 AM

1hunter

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Rank:
Colonel
Points:
192
Join Date:
Jan 2009
chuck norris

when chuck does push-ups he doesn't push himself up. he pushes the world down!

5 years 17 weeks ago, 10:05 AM

ssrs10

ssrs10's picture

Rank:
Lieutenant General
Points:
2020
Join Date:
Oct 2008
Location:
Connecticut, United States
Chuck Norris

"The symbol for Chuck Norris in sign language is a middle finger on fire"

"If you stare at the American Flag long enough, a 3D image of Chuck Norris pops out"

It's 106 miles to Chicago, we got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark, and we're wearing sunglasses
5 years 17 weeks ago, 12:38 PM

ssrs10

ssrs10's picture

Rank:
Lieutenant General
Points:
2020
Join Date:
Oct 2008
Location:
Connecticut, United States
Chuck Norris

"Despite his doctor's and family's strong objections, Chuck Norris began drinking gasoline each morning. Much to everyone's surprise, he gets ninety-four miles per gallon."

It's 106 miles to Chicago, we got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark, and we're wearing sunglasses
5 years 17 weeks ago, 12:56 PM

sparticus22286

sparticus22286's picture

Rank:
Lieutenant Colonel
Points:
81
Join Date:
Mar 2009
Norris of Chuck

"IF you are what you eat, Chuck Norris is a combination of monster truck tires, Godzilla, and molten lava."

5 years 17 weeks ago, 3:35 PM

Anonymous

Chuck Norris

I hear that under chucks beard there is no chin....there is only another fist.

5 years 17 weeks ago, 3:36 PM

countykeyman

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Rank:
Major
Points:
59
Join Date:
Jan 2009
Location:
Knoxville, Tn
chuck norris

chuck norris wears tim tebow underware

"Owning a handgun doesn't make you armed any more than owning a guitar makes you a musician" - Jeff Cooper

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