Forums / Off Topic / Darwin Awards

5 years 37 weeks ago, 12:03 PM

ssrs10

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Oct 2008
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Connecticut, United States
Darwin Awards

(13 January 2005, Croatia) One fateful afternoon, 55-year-old Marko retreated to his semi-detached workshop to make himself a tool for chimney cleaning. The chimney was too high for a simple broom to work, but if he could attach a brush to a chain and then weigh it down with something, that would do the trick. But what could he use as a weight?
He happened to have the perfect object. It was heavy, yet compact. And best of all, it was made of metal, so he could weld it to the chain. He must have somehow overlooked the fact that it was also a hand grenade and was filled with explosive material.

Marko turned on his welding apparatus and began to create an arc between the chain and the grenade. As the metal heated up, the grenade exploded. The force of the explosion killed poor Marko instantly, blasting shrapnel through the walls of the shed and shattering the windshield of a Mercedes parked outside. Marko's chimney was untouched, however.

It's 106 miles to Chicago, we got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark, and we're wearing sunglasses
5 years 37 weeks ago, 12:19 PM

Eturnit3

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Lieutenant General
Points:
798
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Dec 2008
Location:
Grass Valley , CA
ouch,

That's a mistake you only make once

The time is coming when those who kill you will think they are offering service to God. Jesus - (John 16.2) A penny saved is a government oversight.
5 years 37 weeks ago, 12:22 PM

ssrs10

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Rank:
Lieutenant General
Points:
2020
Join Date:
Oct 2008
Location:
Connecticut, United States
2

(8 March 2008, Czech Republic) Steel is valuable, especially the high-grade alloy used in steel cable. Scrap metal dealers do not ask questions. They pay in cash. And a good supply of steel cable can be found in elevator shafts.
This particular gold mine was a towering shaft inside an empty granary near Zatec, forty miles northwest of Prague. The cable was tightly fastened, and the far end of it disappeared into the shadowy distance above.

After substantial wear and tear on a hacksaw, our man finally cut through the strong steel cable. At that instant the counterbalance, no longer held in check, started to move silently downward, accelerating until it reached the bottom of the shaft.

Result: one proud winner of a "terminal velocity" Darwin Award.

R.I.P.

It's 106 miles to Chicago, we got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark, and we're wearing sunglasses
5 years 37 weeks ago, 12:22 PM

ssrs10

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Rank:
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2020
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Location:
Connecticut, United States
ha

(1996, Toronto) Police said a lawyer demonstrating the safety of windows in a downtown Toronto skyscraper crashed through a pane of glass with his shoulder and plunged twenty-four floors to his death. A police spokesman said Garry, thirty-nine, fell into the courtyard of the Toronto Dominion Bank Tower as he was explaining the strength of the building's windows to visiting law students. Garry had previously conducted the demonstration of window strength without mishap, according to police reports. The managing partner of the law firm that employed the deceased told the Toronto Sun newspaper that Garry was "one of the best and brightest" members of the two-hundred-man association.

It's 106 miles to Chicago, we got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark, and we're wearing sunglasses
5 years 37 weeks ago, 12:32 PM

ssrs10

ssrs10's picture

Rank:
Lieutenant General
Points:
2020
Join Date:
Oct 2008
Location:
Connecticut, United States
Muzzle loader

(4 December 1996, Indiana) A Jay County man using a cigarette lighter to check the barrel of a muzzleloader was killed Monday night when the weapon discharged in his face, sheriff's investigators said.

Gregory, 19, died in his parents' rural Dunkirk home about 11:30 p.m. Investigators said Pryor was cleaning a .54-caliber muzzleloader that had not been firing properly. He was using the lighter to look into the barrel when the gunpowder ignited.

It's 106 miles to Chicago, we got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark, and we're wearing sunglasses
5 years 37 weeks ago, 12:52 PM

ssrs10

ssrs10's picture

Rank:
Lieutenant General
Points:
2020
Join Date:
Oct 2008
Location:
Connecticut, United States
nice

(30 September 1996, Finland) In a private rail yard, an engineer and two crew members were shunting freight cars to their unloading points. The final task was to dock thirteen loaded timber cars, and one filled with ammonia. The crewmember to watch was riding on the stepboard of the ammonia car, holding a handrail for balance. This common practice is considered safe, since the maximum shunting speed is 5 kph.
However, his next move was anything but safe.

The ammonia car needed to be separated from the timber cars. Following the normal procedure, the train is halted after the switch, and backed to the correct track, where the ammonia car is uncoupled, and then the rest of the train continues on. But the engineer wasn't sure the yard engine could start moving again with the timber, so he decided to leave the ammonia car on the level track after the slope beyond the switch.

He shared this plan with his crew.

The clever crew member riding on the ammonia car realized that the engineer's new plan meant more work for him, so he decided to make it easy on himself, and uncouple the ammonia car while the train was moving -- without informing the others.

To uncouple the car, he performed the following tasks: He moved from the stepboard to the fender and coupler, which have no real foothold, hung from the ammonia car's handrail, and closed its switch valve. Then he hung from the timber car's handrail and closed its switch valve. He disconnected the inter-car brake hose with his foot. Lastly, he disconnected the coupler, uncoupling the cars.

After accomplishing this impressive acrobatic feat, the crewmember still had to stop the ammonia car in the right place. He intended to use the brake valve next to his foot. However, when the inter-car brake hose is disconnected, opening the brake valve results in emergency maximum-strength braking. Although the crewmember was aware of this fact, the strength of the braking apparently surprised him. Since he was clinging precariously to the ammonia car, one foot on the fender and one foot on the brake valve, he was in no position to maintain his balance. He was thrown onto the rail, where the front wheels of the ammonia car ran across his torso, killing him instantly.

The car stopped less than five meters away, 150 meters too early, so his timesaving efforts were for naught.

It's 106 miles to Chicago, we got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark, and we're wearing sunglasses

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