Forums / Off Topic / Dating rituals

5 years 9 weeks ago, 2:41 PM

HampsterW

HampsterW's picture

Rank:
Secretary of State
Points:
7723
Join Date:
Jan 2010
Location:
Cottonwood Heights, Utah, United States
Dating rituals

WHITE WOMEN

First date: You get to kiss her goodnight.
Second date: You get to grope all over and make out.
Third date : You get to have sex, but only in the missionary
position.

IRISH WOMEN

First Date: You both get blind drunk and have sex.
Second Date: You both get blind drunk and have sex.
20th Anniversary: You both get blind drunk and have sex.

ITALIAN WOMEN

First Date: You take her to a play and an expensive restaurant.
Second Date: You meet her parents and her Mom makes spaghetti and
meatballs.
Third Date: You have sex, she wants to marry you and insists on a
3-carat ring.
5th Anniversary: You already have 5 kids together and hate the
thought of having sex.
6th Anniversary: You find yourself a girlfriend.

JEWISH WOMEN

First Date: You get dynamite head.
Second Date: You get more great head.
Third Date: You tell her you'll marry her and never get head again.

CHINESE WOMEN

First date: You get to buy her an expensive dinner, but nothing
happens.
Second date: You buy her an even more expensive dinner. Nothing
happens again.
Third date: You don't even get to the third date and you already
realized nothing is going to happen.

INDIAN WOMEN

First date: Meet her parents.
Second date: Set the date of the wedding.
Third date: Wedding night.

BLACK WOMEN

First Date: You get to buy her a real expensive dinner.
Second Date: You get to buy her and her girlfriends a real
expensive dinner.
Third Date: You get to pay her rent.
Tenth Date: She's pregnant by someone other than you.

MEXICAN WOMEN

First Date: You buy her an expensive dinner, get drunk on Tequila,
and have sex in the back of her car.
Second Date: She's pregnant.
Third Date: She moves in. One week later ~ her mother, father, his
girlfriend, her two sisters, her brother, all of their kids, her
grandma, her father's girlfriend's mother, her two cousins, her
sister's boyfriend and his three kids move in and you live on rice
and beans for the rest of your life in your home that used to be
nice, but now looks like a home along the Rio Grande.

The POINT?

DON'T YOU JUST LOVE IRISH WOMEN?

Change you can truly believe in comes from the barrel of a gun---------------------------------------------------------------------------------Ron Paul 2012----Vote the bastards out!---------------------------------
5 years 9 weeks ago, 2:46 PM

OozeRat

OozeRat's picture

Rank:
Major General
Points:
672
Join Date:
Feb 2010
Location:
West Jordan, Utah, United States

Why didnt you tell me this before I got married?

Nothing is as risky as certain failure.
5 years 9 weeks ago, 3:18 PM

luckybychoice

luckybychoice's picture


Rank:
Secretary of the Treasury
Points:
6795
Join Date:
May 2009
Location:
United States
very funny

good one!

i tried being reasonable,i didn't like it, NRA LIFE MEMBER,USMC VETERAN
5 years 6 weeks ago, 9:29 AM

cbxjeff

cbxjeff's picture

Rank:
Major General
Points:
458
Join Date:
May 2009
Location:
Indianapolis, IN, United States
Dating

If I would have only known this ...

It's too late for me, save yourself.

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