3 years 22 weeks ago, 8:13 PM
CharlesW  |
Death of the Lone Ranger
Lone Ranger and Tonto were riding across the prarie and A little rebellion is good medicine for the government
Thomas Jefferson |
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kncald
the Lone Ranger and Tonto stopped to camp for the night. Tonto got the fire started while the Lone Ranger pitched the tent. After a good supper and a little whiskey they decided to go to sleep. In the middle of the night the Lone Ranger spoke to Tonto in order to wake him up.
"What is it, Kemosabe?"
"Tonto, tell me what you see."
"Well, I see millions of stars in the clear night sky."
"And what does that tell you?"
"Well, Kemosabe, it means we should have good weather for the rest of our trip tomorrow".
"And what else does it tell you?"
"It means that we are but a very tiny part of the universe".
"And what else does it tell you?"
"That there is a great Spirit who has created it. What it tell you, Kemosabe?"
"Tonto, you dumbass, it means that someone stole out tent!"
kncald
computer tried to double post.
luckybychoice
The lone ranger and tonto were tracking some outlaws,when suddenly tonto jumped off his horse,put his ear to the ground,listened for a bit and said"hmmm, buffalo come".
The lone ranger said "that's amazing,can you tell by the vibration coming from the ground?
and Tonto said"no kemosabae,ear stuck to ground".
Nitris
discovery. He's looking in a indian dictionary and came across the word Kemosabe: Apache expression for horse's ass..............what the hey.
Ebear
Tonto is spanish for stupid
CharlesW
is your last name Tonto ?
Ebear
why.?...do you think so?
CharlesW
I didn't say that. I was just asking.
Well Is It ?
Ebear
no, but thanks for askin
CharlesW
Lone Ranger had to pee so he gets off his horse and walks
over to some bushes. Big ole rattler bites him on the dick.
Lone Ranger says quick Tonto go get the doc, I've been
snake bit. Tonto rides to town but doc is bisy delivering
a baby and tells Tonto, cut an X on the fang marks and suck the poison
out. I;ll be there as soon as I can.
Tonto rides back to camp and tell Lone Ranger Doc is busy and
cant come.
Lone Ranger asks did he tell you anything?
Tonto says Yes He said you going to die
CharlesW
The way people talk to you here I wonder
why you don't jump up and bite them on
the butt
Ebear
i don't take anything personal on this site. I dish it out just as bad.,,,as long as its funny , i don't care and if someone is serious i care even less.thats why it kinda bothers me when people's comments are deleted...im very much into free speech, but i also understand why its done.for the record i am 100% into women.ask my wife.....and my side dish, and the girl at the horse stable, and the one at my bank and........
luckybychoice
why don't you take a flying .... off a short.... while.... red headed .... gets ... open up and say .... in the name of .... with your .... around your.... while she .... while looking at .... goat ass.
Ebear
the other white hairy stinky meat
1boomer
the goat in the next stall
runawaygun762
He'll eat a man's ass like nobody's business, but my dad never complained of getting bitten.
greg az
Just so happens im hav'n an extra "tonic" tonight..good news on the prostate shit, so celebrating..
Hey guys i shot the new K frame brother brought me.. just as great as i knew it would be. Really sweet piece..
daisycutter
of it?
luckybychoice
viagra has to kick in first there DC before greg can fire it for grouping.
Shakleford
The Lone Ranger was ambushed and captured by an enemy Indian war party. The Indian Chief proclaims, "So, you are the great Lone Ranger. In honor of the Harvest Festival, you will be executed in three days. But, before I kill you, I will grant you three requests. What is your first request?"
The Lone Ranger responds, "I'd like to speak to my horse." Chief nods and Silver is brought before the Lone Ranger, who whispers in Silver's ear, and the horse gallops away.
Later that evening, Silver returns with a beautiful blonde woman on his back. The woman enters the Lone Ranger's tent and spends the night.
The next morning the Indian Chief admits he's impressed. "You have a very fine and loyal horse, but I will still kill you in two days. What is your second request?"
The Lone Ranger again asks to speak to his horse. Silver is brought to him and he again whispers in the horse's ear. As before, Silver takes off across the plains and disappears over the horizon.
Later that evening, to the Chief's surprise, Silver again returns, this time with a voluptuous brunette, even more attractive than the blonde. She enters the Lone Ranger's tent and spends the night.
The following morning the Indian Chief is again impressed. "You are indeed a man of many talents, but I will still kill you tomorrow. What is your last request?"
The Lone Ranger responds, "I'd like to speak to my horse. Alone!"
The Chief is curious, but he agrees and Silver is brought to the Lone Ranger's tent. Once they're alone, the Lone Ranger grabs Silver by both ears looks him square in the eyes and says, "Listen carefully. For the last time, I said ... BRING POSSE!"
zx12rmike
very funny! shak, love to start the day with a laugh, thx