Forums / Off Topic / Economics 101 (2008 Version)

5 years 31 weeks ago, 1:04 PM

samD

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Economics 101 (2008 Version)

1.The US has made a new weapon that destroys people but keeps the building standing,. Its called the stock market

2. Do you have any idea how cheap stocks are ?? Wall Street is now being called WalMart Street.

3. The difference between a pigeon and a London investment banker. The pigeon can still make a deposit on a BMW.

4. What's the difference between a guy who lost everything in Las Vegas and an investment banker? A tie!

5. The problem with investment bank balance sheet is that on the left
side nothing's right and on the right side nothing's left.

6. I want to warn people from Nigeria who might be reading this, if
you get any emails from Washington asking for money, it's a scam. Don't fall for it.

7. Bush was asked about the credit crunch. He said it was his favorite candy bar.

8. The rescue bill was about 450 pages. President Bush's copy is even thicker. They had to include pictures.

9. President Bush's response was to meet some small business owners in San Antonio last week. The small business owners are General Motors, General Electric and Century 21.

10. What worries me most about the credit crunch, is that if one of my checks is returned stamped 'insufficient funds'. I won't know whether that refers to mine or the bank's.

** New Stock Market Terms **

CEO --Chief Embezzlement Officer.

CFO-- Corporate Fraud Officer.

BULL MARKET -- A random market movement causing an investor to mistake
himself for a financial genius.

BEAR MARKET -- A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance,
the wife gets no jewelry.

VALUE INVESTING -- The art of buying low and selling lower.

P/E RATIO -- The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the
market keeps crashing.

BROKER -- What my broker has made me.

STANDARD & POOR -- Your life in a nutshell.

STOCK ANALYST -- Idiot who just downgraded your stock.

STOCK SPLIT -- When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets
equally between themselves.

FINANCIAL PLANNER -- A guy whose phone has been disconnected.

MARKET CORRECTION -- The day after you buy stocks.

CASH FLOW-- The movement your money makes as it disappears down the
toilet.

YAHOO -- What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per
share.

WINDOWS -- What you jump out of when you're the sucker who bought Yahoo
@ $240 per share.

INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR -- Past year investor who's now locked up in a
nuthouse.

PROFIT -- An archaic word no longer in use

5 years 31 weeks ago, 8:43 PM

hillbilly77

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Profit: Buying a WASR10 for 400 6 months ago and selling it now for 600 plus.

“If ever time should come,when vain and aspiring men shall possess the highest seats in government, our country will stand in need of it's experienced Patriots to prevent it's ruin."Samuel Adams
5 years 31 weeks ago, 9:49 PM

LLE

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my big fat ass off. That is is priceless. Are you related to Mel Brooks?

Too old to fight, Too old to run, guess that's why I carry a gun! "would someone show this asshole the way out of town".[Rabbi Avram Belinski-aka "The Frisco Kid"]

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