This is effort two, i had the first one done..and BAM sucker wound up in somalia or something.. so this one will be brief..
As a couple of you know Gloria and i spent the day down in the valley getting tests.. CT, and bone scan (first place it spreads after the pelvis as a rule)... Ok so just a quick recap, and one that doesn't pull punches.. based on the two failed radiation attempts, and the fact that my PSA was doubling and quadrupling.. its a given that it had spread, (bleeding from bladder as well).. the issue was if it (as doc had told us to prepare for) was a stage 4 spread.. what they euphemistically call "distant" and past a certain point the treatment is NOT treatment, its palliative care, and a matter of months...
This was my terror... here we are away from the kids, in a bad housing market.. and im going to leave the love of my life high and dry... Guys you have no idea how the past couple weeks have been.. I can honestly say i have read the post where i share a lot of this and your comments over and over for strength... THE PRAYERS WORKED...
A lot of this is tentative, but enough to have the weight of the world off me... im laying on the bone scan table... the tech is going over my case... i tell her i know its spread... that im just worried about it being hi stage 4 and not being able to treat.... at the end of it she comes in..closes the door, and says... im allowed to give you a DVD to take home, and you can compare it with what bone scans that show spreading look like.... Shes got this big smile on her face... i say young lady you have wonderful news for me dont you... (were been talking for half hour or so) ... she says Mr Edwards im not allowed to in any way discuss your case or condition with you...This with a BIG ASS SMILE on her face...
Bottom line is that while we dont have CT... and it has spread to bladder.. thats stage 2-3 stuff, and with prostate Cancer means years.. Guys we had been talking months..
I've spent so much time on my knees, and thanking our Lord im thinking he's giving me a look..
Going to tell you something with all my heart.. and forgive me for this being fast, its late, and i felt i HAD to get this to you guys tonight..
In my heart of hearts, soul.. I know it was prayers that made this happen..
Were human my friends, with all the faults shared by all.. To be honest I'm guessing i have more on the "to be forgiven for" list than most of you guys.. But were honest friends, and i know your hearts, and i know your prayers.. I also believe in my heart that our Lord does as well... your prayers matter.. and because of them it looks like old greg is looking at being around for awhile now... God bless you all... I love ya guys... no checks necessary on this one, just read it...Know Gloria and my joy.. and thanks for being my friend.... night see ya tomorrow..
a man has to hold his word, hold his beliefs, and hold a good sight picture.
5 years 46 weeks ago, 1:14 AM