1. If practice makes perfect & nobody's perfect, why practice?
2. Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant?? I'm halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh my God....I could be eating a slow learner.
3. What would a chair look like, if your knees bent the other way?
4. Why do our noses run and our feet smell?
5. What does "it" mean in the sentence "What time is it?"?
6. If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?
7. Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
8. When someone with multiple personalities threathens suicide, can that be considered a hostige situation?
9. What Happens If You Get Scared Half To Death Twice?
10. If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?
11. Why do they call it "common sense" when it's so rare?
12. Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?
13. If you get corn oil by squeezing corn, how do you get baby oil?
14. Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo?
15. If electricity comes from electrons does it mean morality comes from morons?
16. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?
17. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
18. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
19. Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?
20. If God didn't want us to eat people, why did he make them out of MEAT?
21. Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?
22. If Wal-Mart is lowering prices every day, how come nothing is free yet?
23. Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?
24. Psychics never win the lottery. Why is that?
25. How can two space ships meeting always face the right way up in Sci-Fi movies?
26. You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes, why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?
27. If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
28. How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?
29. Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?
30. Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?
31. Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?
32. If you blame someone for your failures, do you credit them for your achievements?
33. If FedEx and UPS were to merge, would they call it FedUP?
34. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
35. How come everyone's going so slow if it's called rush hour?
36. Why is the person who invests all your money called a broker??
37. Why do we chop a tree "down" and then chop it "up"?
38. How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?
39. Why do we wash BATH TOWELS; aren't we clean when we use them?
40. If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?
41. If money doesn't make us happy, then what does it do?
42. Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?
43. If ours is a man made world, why can't we remake it?
44. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
45. When people say "I woke up on the wrong side of the bed," What side is the right side?
46. Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?
47. Why do we put suits in a Garment Bag, and put Garments in a Suitcase?
48. Why buy a product that it takes 2000 flushes to get rid of?
49. When Puerto Rico joins the union, where will they put the 51st star?
50. Who were the beta testers for Preparations A through G?
I intend to live forever, or die trying. It Could Be that the Purpose of Your Life is Only to Serve as a Warning to Others. Join the Army, meet interesting people, kill them. All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand.