Forums / Off Topic / Gunslot Christmas Poem 2010

4 years 25 weeks ago, 9:41 PM

catfish88

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Gunslot Christmas Poem 2010

Twas the night before Christmas, and none were logged on,
To their favorite website, gunslot.com
The comments were empty, no pictures to post
Not even a lurker was signed on, not even a ghost

Hamp was sleeping tightly, in his pink hearted sheets,
Ebear was beside him, and complained of Hamps cold feet.
And R3 HK Bauer was snuggled next to his new USP,
While prayers for our sinful pictures, were being sent up by Greg AZ

Then Hamp was awaken from the arms of his lover,
To find Ebears fingers bloody, from his AK’s dust cover
Then suddenly outside, they heard such a sound
Ebear put on his fuzzy slippers and looked out, to the ground

When what with his Mexican eyes he did see,
But Badgirl sitting under his Christmas tree
She sat there, half naked, with a bow in her hair,
And only said “Hey this is badgirl”, then vanished in thin air

Runaway was kept busy in Guantanamo Bay,
And was just settling down after waterboarding Muslims all day
Marvin and Quinton were busy making shirts and putting up ads,
And they sat and they wondered, how their site was filled with porn so bad

Shuyler was busy twirling his long moustache,
When he heard a loud noise and ran to the door, in a dash
And what to his keen eyes should he see,
But a fancy RV, with 8 bikini clad women, driven by SamD

Then suddenly Sam heard the fabled ninja cry,
Ne Ka, Moshi Moshi, I’m building a rifle, I tell no lie!
Now Sam’s reflexes were nimble, he drew his Glock fast,
And sent the 3 ninjas running, with 2 warning blasts

To Shuyler Sam said, “come aboard my rolling love yacht”
“The Martinis are cold, and I brung ammo for all of gunslot”
But Shuyler he hesitated, then said with a smile,
“That should be brought, not brung, your grammer is vile”

Off the two went, with ammo and guns to deliver,
But, where the hell Pkato lived now, no one could remember
They found Lucky and Lyle, having drinks by the fire,
And left them pictures of Blondeprincess, for them to admire

Clintlebo and Reaper were found discussing who had the best gun,
They left them gift certificates to Brownells, to add to their fun
Vaquero was left a t-shirt, ACE got gunsmithing files,
Larry and Charles W were left ammo, by the piles

GregAZ got a new gun, Greasy a new grill,
But Snake he got nothing, and was cut out of Sam’s will
Catfish only got coal, left in small lumps,
Because he wrote this poem, and they all thought he was a chump

To each gunslot members house, Sam he did go,
Leaving presents and good wishes and pictures of ho’s
And I heard Sam yell as his RV drove out of sight,
Merry Christmas Gunslot, and to all a good night

Merry Christmas my friends- Brad.

4 years 25 weeks ago, 9:47 PM

Larry Wagner

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CatFish,

Great Brad, Absolutely great. I'm sure you will get more than coal. LOL

Any day above dirt is a good day!!! My New Motto: Where Do I Sign? (Oh yes I would)
4 years 25 weeks ago, 9:51 PM

catfish88

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A copy of last years poem for those of you who may not have been around then.

A Gunslot Christmas Poem- by Catfish
QuoteGunslot Christmas Poem
Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the sight,
Not a member was logged on, no even zx12mike.
The ammo cans were sitting, by the safe with care,
In hopes that St Nicholas would soon leave ammo there.

The members were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of naked girls holding AR’s danced in their heads.
And runaway in her kevlar, and ivantank in his tactical vest,
Had just shut down their browsers for a much needed rest.

When out on the range there arose such a clatter,
Schuyler sprang from his cot to realize it was machine gun chatter.
Away to the safe Raffy flew like a flash,
Brought out his Glock and found his ammo stash.

The.45’s were loaded in the mags with care,
And the steel on the 1911, gave off a sexy soft glare.
But what to Greg Az’s keen eyes should appear,
But a man in an sleigh and Ebear molesting eight tinny reindeer.

With a very old driver, Ecaman thought it was LLE,
But realized in a moment, that it must be Sam D!
More rapid than a minigun his orders they came,
As he cussed, and drunkenly shouted, and called them by name!

"Now Lucky! now, Toosk, now,Catfish and Snake!
You may post what you want, as long as it’s in good taste!
No pubes, no reposts, no vaginal lips!
If the pics of a girl, she must have a gun on her hips!"

I watched as Sam posted and posted some more,
He found pictures and videos and earned points galore!
He tore into liberals and communists and such,
And soon we realized he didn’t like Obama very much.

He rose through the ranks, and President he became,
And we all knew, without Sam, gunslot wouldn’t be the same.
Surely a gentleman, but sometimes a surly old cuss,
He tried to make peace when some made a fuss.

He was dressed all in cammo, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with gunpowder and soot.
A dufflebag of Guns he had flung on his back,
And he looked like ebear and his fellow wetbacks.

His eyes were glassy, most likely from the martini,
He carried a picture of Dollpartz in a bikini!
His droll little mouth looked wrinkled and old,
And the beard of his goatee was as white as the snow.

The outline of a G19 you could see on his hip,
As he stumbled and fumbled and tried not to trip.
He had a small Berretta he kept in the pocket in front,
Just in case he saw bearmeat, that worthless left wing cunt!

He carried a Camp 9, fixed up by his friend Greasy,
And had added an optic with laser, to make shooting easy.
The rifle had slash marks on the side of the stock,
To commemorate each illegal alien, he had dropped like a rock.

He typed and he posted until his fingers were sore,
And filled forums with pictures of guns and political lore.
The girls in the pictures were tasteful, yet scantily clad,
And some had big boobs, which made Vic quite glad.

He sprang to his sleigh and yelled out to Reaper,
“Sigs suck ass, but a Glock is a keeper!”
But I saw his last post, before he logged off the site,
"I hope you all get new guns on this Christmas Eve night!"

Merry Christmas guys!...Brad.

4 years 25 weeks ago, 9:52 PM

HKBauer

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Brilliant

Cat brilliant! When do you start for hallmark? :LOL

4 years 25 weeks ago, 9:54 PM

Snake

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Catfish!

I got burned in the poem! AWESOME!!!!

Merry Christmas my Gunslot Comrade's!

Democracy is worth dying for, because it's the most deeply honorable form of government ever devised by man.-Ronald Reagan
4 years 25 weeks ago, 9:55 PM

Lyle Hutchins 1

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catfish

Thats great!!! I enjoyed that!!!
Lyle

Lyle Hutchinson
4 years 25 weeks ago, 10:32 PM

CharlesW

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We got left out of the
revised second version
There is a God yippeeee

A little rebellion is good medicine for the government Thomas Jefferson
4 years 25 weeks ago, 10:52 PM

catfish88

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Charles, actually, the second one posted was the first one from last year. So, you got included in this years.

4 years 25 weeks ago, 9:56 PM

catfish88

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Thanks HK(R3) and Larry. I got fired from Hallmark in the big Kwanzaa greeting card fiasco of 2002.

4 years 25 weeks ago, 9:59 PM

HKBauer

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Kwanzaa

I can only imagine what you wrote for that "holiday"

4 years 25 weeks ago, 10:05 PM

Anonymous

sweet!

I get a new grill!thanks Cat,I was wondering if you were gonna do this poem again this year.

4 years 25 weeks ago, 10:53 PM

catfish88

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Your welcome Greasy.

Your welcome Greasy.

4 years 25 weeks ago, 10:11 PM

HKBauer

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but the USP is right next to me each night!

4 years 25 weeks ago, 10:18 PM

Anonymous

Bauer

you can bullshit some of the people sometimes but you cant bullshit all the people all the time...

4 years 25 weeks ago, 10:26 PM

HKBauer

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OK ok

so maybe Im a little paraniod but it is within reach without looking everynight, TBH wont let me sleep with under my pillow! LOL

4 years 25 weeks ago, 10:29 PM

HKBauer

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Padre

Anyone see him the last few days, I didnt see his name in the 24 activity list, just hopin everything is good with his bro and his health.

4 years 25 weeks ago, 10:32 PM

HKBauer

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Night guys

Time for this guy to go to bed.

4 years 25 weeks ago, 11:13 PM

greg az

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RIght here Adam..

Alls well buddy thanks for asking.. Garys doing pretty good as well.. Just been busy around the homefront.. Guess were going down to the valey and house sit for the hollidays.. more time with the G-kids, but more work to.. just catching up on whats going on...

a man has to hold his word, hold his beliefs, and hold a good sight picture.
4 years 25 weeks ago, 11:24 PM

greg az

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I really thought last years was great.. Funny,i mentioned last years to Gloria couple a couple days ago, just "musing" (for Schuyler) about the possibility of a return visit..

There's cleaver, thiers funny (which some of us come close to occasionally) and thiers brilliant funny shit..

yours was ok.. hoping for better next year..

Honestly perfect buddy.. congratulations for knocking it out of the park..

a man has to hold his word, hold his beliefs, and hold a good sight picture.
4 years 24 weeks ago, 8:12 AM

Vaquero

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Nice job Cat

I loved the badgirl bit!

The truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth!
4 years 24 weeks ago, 11:14 AM

luckybychoice

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great job cat

very clever and funny,a hard day waterboarding muslims...too funny

i tried being reasonable,i didn't like it, NRA LIFE MEMBER,USMC VETERAN
4 years 24 weeks ago, 11:18 AM

Ebear

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brad as always

you suck....just kidding very good

...check... G-AZ
4 years 24 weeks ago, 11:48 AM

zx12rmike

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ebear! What's up fag! Who are "Da Bears" playing today?
p.s. Good job Feesh, I like the second version better!!

"We cannot defend freedom abroad by deserting it at home" Thomas Jefferson
4 years 24 weeks ago, 6:43 PM

Ebear

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mikee!!

Bears beat the Lions....how ya doin stud?

...check... G-AZ
4 years 24 weeks ago, 9:31 PM

HKBauer

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Bears beat the Lions

Thats like a D1 playing a Middle School team. Are you that proud? LOL

4 years 24 weeks ago, 6:47 PM

Schuyler

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and a lot of other folks, too. Damn, now you've started an annual tradition!

(P.S. Shhh! Don't quit your day job.)

"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing." - Edmund Burke
4 years 24 weeks ago, 6:53 PM

samD

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Thank you once again for making my day brighter, but that mind pic of Ebear and Hamp with pink sheets will be with me for all days. AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Washing his brain stem in Hydrogen Peroxide and Carbolic Acid.

p.s. Merry Christmas y'all...

where oh where

4 years 24 weeks ago, 7:00 PM

HampsterW

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ebear washed them with my red 'manzier'...ROTFLMAO!!!

Change you can truly believe in comes from the barrel of a gun---------------------------------------------------------------------------------Ron Paul 2012----Vote the bastards out!---------------------------------
4 years 24 weeks ago, 7:05 PM

Ebear

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yeah

Hamp looked pretty hot in it.......

...check... G-AZ
4 years 24 weeks ago, 7:12 PM

HampsterW

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Yeah, I put on

my Llama hat....Aaaarrrrrrrroooooaaaa or what ever sound a Llama makes!

Change you can truly believe in comes from the barrel of a gun---------------------------------------------------------------------------------Ron Paul 2012----Vote the bastards out!---------------------------------
4 years 24 weeks ago, 6:58 PM

HampsterW

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I was shocked that

sam was carrying under the influence!!!!!! That was great Brad, I'm in tears...LOL

Change you can truly believe in comes from the barrel of a gun---------------------------------------------------------------------------------Ron Paul 2012----Vote the bastards out!---------------------------------
4 years 24 weeks ago, 6:58 PM

catfish88

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Your welcome Sam.

Your welcome Sam.

4 years 24 weeks ago, 6:59 PM

Nitris

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OMG I have been gone to long I see.

Ron Paul 2012 III
4 years 24 weeks ago, 7:28 PM

clintlebo

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catfish the poet

Thanks for keeping me in the loop of sarcasm and verse this Christmas season.

Your poem gave me a great chuckle.

clint

"Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us." (Calvin & Hobbes)
4 years 24 weeks ago, 9:12 PM

runawaygun762

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Last year I was a her.

"I have always been a soldier. I have known no other life. The calling of arms, I have followed from boyhood. I have never sought another." From The Virtues of War, by Steven Pressfield.
4 years 24 weeks ago, 6:25 AM

Nitris

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Hastheruns you made it to guy platform, but you'll never be a man.

Ron Paul 2012 III
4 years 24 weeks ago, 1:05 AM

runawaygun762

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Not a man?

That's not what your dogs think when I'm pounding their furry puppy asses.

"I have always been a soldier. I have known no other life. The calling of arms, I have followed from boyhood. I have never sought another." From The Virtues of War, by Steven Pressfield.

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