Forums / Off Topic / A Gunslot Christmas Poem- by Catfish

4 years 18 weeks ago, 7:40 PM

catfish88

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Gunslot Christmas Poem
Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the sight,
Not a member was logged on, no even zx12mike.
The ammo cans were sitting, by the safe with care,
In hopes that St Nicholas would soon leave ammo there.

The members were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of naked girls holding AR’s danced in their heads.
And runaway in her kevlar, and ivantank in his tactical vest,
Had just shut down their browsers for a much needed rest.

When out on the range there arose such a clatter,
Schuyler sprang from his cot to realize it was machine gun chatter.
Away to the safe Raffy flew like a flash,
Brought out his Glock and found his ammo stash.

The.45’s were loaded in the mags with care,
And the steel on the 1911, gave off a sexy soft glare.
But what to Greg Az’s keen eyes should appear,
But a man in an sleigh and Ebear molesting eight tinny reindeer.

With a very old driver, Ecaman thought it was LLE,
But realized in a moment, that it must be Sam D!
More rapid than a minigun his orders they came,
As he cussed, and drunkenly shouted, and called them by name!

"Now Lucky! now, Toosk, now,Catfish and Snake!
You may post what you want, as long as it’s in good taste!
No pubes, no reposts, no vaginal lips!
If the pics of a girl, she must have a gun on her hips!"

I watched as Sam posted and posted some more,
He found pictures and videos and earned points galore!
He tore into liberals and communists and such,
And soon we realized he didn’t like Obama very much.

He rose through the ranks, and President he became,
And we all knew, without Sam, gunslot wouldn’t be the same.
Surely a gentleman, but sometimes a surly old cuss,
He tried to make peace when some made a fuss.

He was dressed all in cammo, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with gunpowder and soot.
A dufflebag of Guns he had flung on his back,
And he looked like ebear and his fellow wetbacks.

His eyes were glassy, most likely from the martini,
He carried a picture of Dollpartz in a bikini!
His droll little mouth looked wrinkled and old,
And the beard of his goatee was as white as the snow.

The outline of a G19 you could see on his hip,
As he stumbled and fumbled and tried not to trip.
He had a small Berretta he kept in the pocket in front,
Just in case he saw bearmeat, that worthless left wing cunt!

He carried a Camp 9, fixed up by his friend Greasy,
And had added an optic with laser, to make shooting easy.
The rifle had slash marks on the side of the stock,
To commemorate each illegal alien, he had dropped like a rock.

He typed and he posted until his fingers were sore,
And filled forums with pictures of guns and political lore.
The girls in the pictures were tasteful, yet scantily clad,
And some had big boobs, which made Vic quite glad.

He sprang to his sleigh and yelled out to Reaper,
“Sigs suck ass, but a Glock is a keeper!”
But I saw his last post, before he logged off the site,
"I hope you all get new guns on this Christmas Eve night!"

Merry Christmas guys!...Brad.

4 years 18 weeks ago, 7:42 PM

catfish88

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All gunslot members, a little something for ya!

4 years 18 weeks ago, 7:45 PM

Schuyler

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If I could give you points, I would.

"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing." - Edmund Burke
4 years 18 weeks ago, 8:01 PM

catfish88

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Thanks Schuyler, glad you liked it.

4 years 18 weeks ago, 7:46 PM

Shakleford

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Not bad catfish

But I'am not feeling very loved!

"Two flags fly above my land that really sum up how I feel. One is the colors that fly high and proud the red the white the blue.The other ones got a rattlesnake with a simple statement made, Don’t Tread On Me is what it says"
4 years 18 weeks ago, 8:02 PM

catfish88

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Sorry Shak, I was just going off the top of my head.

4 years 18 weeks ago, 8:05 PM

Shakleford

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It's Cool

Just giving ya a hard time!

"Two flags fly above my land that really sum up how I feel. One is the colors that fly high and proud the red the white the blue.The other ones got a rattlesnake with a simple statement made, Don’t Tread On Me is what it says"
4 years 18 weeks ago, 8:00 PM

Shakleford

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Thanks Toosk

That's all I was asking for!!

"Two flags fly above my land that really sum up how I feel. One is the colors that fly high and proud the red the white the blue.The other ones got a rattlesnake with a simple statement made, Don’t Tread On Me is what it says"
4 years 18 weeks ago, 8:00 PM

Ebear

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catfish!!!!

that was a fn Masterpiece!!!!!could one of the reindeer i raped be Shakleford?

...check... G-AZ
4 years 18 weeks ago, 8:04 PM

Shakleford

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HA!

"Two flags fly above my land that really sum up how I feel. One is the colors that fly high and proud the red the white the blue.The other ones got a rattlesnake with a simple statement made, Don’t Tread On Me is what it says"
4 years 18 weeks ago, 8:06 PM

Ebear

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shak

i would have been gentle........

...check... G-AZ
4 years 18 weeks ago, 8:01 PM

LLE

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but how could anyone mistake me for samD?? I am much better looking, and in the recent past, many children have mistaken me for Kenny Rogers playing Santa Claus.

"Laugh so hard, that even 'Sorrow' smiles at you. Live life so well, that even 'Death' loves to see you alive". (author unknown) "....would someone please show this poor asshole the way out of town?"....Avram Belinsky, the "Frisco Kid".
4 years 18 weeks ago, 8:02 PM

zx12rmike

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Great post,Now I know what you've been doing instead of sleeping!

"We cannot defend freedom abroad by deserting it at home" Thomas Jefferson
4 years 18 weeks ago, 8:05 PM

samD

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But lumps of coal,
you did earn
for being facetious
and turning a line.
I may be old but I am ugly.

Old St samD

4 years 18 weeks ago, 8:14 PM

catfish88

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Oh Sam, you know I love ya! I'll be looking forward to the coal. Make it a nice low sulpher coal if you don't mind. I want to stay warm, but without all the soot.

4 years 18 weeks ago, 8:06 PM

luckybychoice

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that was the

king shit poem there cat,very good job

i tried being reasonable,i didn't like it, NRA LIFE MEMBER,USMC VETERAN
4 years 18 weeks ago, 8:26 PM

ecaman

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Great job!

That was great, Catfish! More like this would be welcome. For example, how about one about our Prez, Obumfuck, & the Peace Prize?

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man. (Mark Twain).
4 years 18 weeks ago, 10:26 PM

fordvg

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Great job Catfish

You are right it is not a good Christmas unless you have some women with big breast for the holidays. LOL That is why my wife keeps me happy! :-) Hope you have a Merry Christmas, my friend with you family this year.

"WAR IS A RACKET, I spent most of my time being a high-class muscle-man for Big Business, for Wall Street, and for the Bankers." Major-General Smedley Darlington Butler USMC Ret. 2 time Medal of Honor winner.
4 years 18 weeks ago, 11:52 PM

runawaygun762

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Good one catfish

but I'm not a "her", doctor. Must be my ghetto booty in the video I posted that confused you. I really am a loser, huh? Damn.

"I have always been a soldier. I have known no other life. The calling of arms, I have followed from boyhood. I have never sought another." From The Virtues of War, by Steven Pressfield.
4 years 18 weeks ago, 12:28 AM

raffycanlas

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nice poem brad

haha ebear molesting reindeers

I'm just another damn yankee with a loaded gun looking for some fun!
4 years 18 weeks ago, 3:23 AM

raffycanlas

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bump

bump

I'm just another damn yankee with a loaded gun looking for some fun!
4 years 18 weeks ago, 11:40 AM

Reaper308

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ha ha ha

ebear is knee deep in tiny reindeer, and sam carries a nudie pic of dollpartz!

"Proelium Comminus Auctoritate" "Sometimes the light at the end of the tunnel is a muzzle flash."
4 years 18 weeks ago, 11:56 PM

Anonymous

Good poem but

how did a Snake turn into a reindeer?

Twas the night before christmas and all through the house not a wife was wearing cloths not even a blouse. They laid in there beds with there legs spread wide in hopes they would get a "Candy Cane" inside.

Yes I made this up off the top of my noggin lol

Merry Christmas!!!!

4 years 18 weeks ago, 12:26 AM

greg az

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Great job Brad, but i have this picture of ebear having "cuddle time" with reindeer that im going to have to get rid of, or start contributing to the ASPCA.. uh...all eight of em?
Ebear, you buying those blue pills by the gross again?

a man has to hold his word, hold his beliefs, and hold a good sight picture.
4 years 18 weeks ago, 1:54 AM

Anonymous

this is great!

everyone else is a reindeer,ebears banging them and i am building guns.you sick fucks!LMAO

4 years 18 weeks ago, 6:35 AM

dockit

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Nice poem.

I intend to live forever, or die trying. It Could Be that the Purpose of Your Life is Only to Serve as a Warning to Others. Join the Army, meet interesting people, kill them. All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand.
4 years 17 weeks ago, 11:03 AM

ja0124

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LOL

That is awsome catfish. Thanks for the laugh
Joey

4 years 16 weeks ago, 11:19 AM

dodew

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Speachless!!

That has to be the funniest thing I've read in a long time. Well done catfish!!

"I prefer peace. But if trouble must come, let it come in my time, so that my children live in peace." Thomas Payne- Revolutionist

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