Forums / Off Topic / HAPPY HUMP DAY...BOYS AND GIRLS....

3 years 38 weeks ago, 10:57 AM

ivantank

ivantank's picture

Rank:
General
Points:
3383
Join Date:
Feb 2009
Location:
lancaster, south carolina, United States

After an excitingly hot 69 position with his girlfriend,
Jerry remembered he had a dentist appointment.
He was afraid that the dentist would smell pussy on his breath
so he brushed his teeth 7 times, used dental floss 8 times
and on top of that gargled 1 liter of Listerine.

As he arrived at the dentist he sucked 2 strong mints.
His turn came up & the dentist told him to take a seat.
Feeling confident & relaxed, Jerry opened his mouth wide.
The dentist got close enough & said,
"Man, did you have 69 before you came here"?
"Why"? Jerry asked, "Does my breath smell like pussy"?

"No" The dentist replied, "Your forehead smells like shit."

I have reasons for the things I do, just don't expect them to be reasonable
3 years 38 weeks ago, 11:16 AM

samD

samD's picture

Rank:
President
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15597
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Aug 2008
Location:
Green Valley, Free State of Arizona, United States
Bud, LMFAO

and you call me bad.

3 years 38 weeks ago, 11:41 AM

HampsterW

HampsterW's picture

Rank:
Secretary of State
Points:
7723
Join Date:
Jan 2010
Location:
Cottonwood Heights, Utah, United States
Ha ha ha ha, good

one ivan!

Change you can truly believe in comes from the barrel of a gun---------------------------------------------------------------------------------Ron Paul 2012----Vote the bastards out!---------------------------------
3 years 38 weeks ago, 3:18 PM

Vaquero

Vaquero's picture

Rank:
General of the Army
Points:
5482
Join Date:
Dec 2009
Location:
West Texas
Ivan,

THAT is funny as I've heard in a long time.
Hell, I didn't laugh that much at chicken dick.

The truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth!
3 years 38 weeks ago, 3:33 PM

greg az

greg az's picture

Rank:
Secretary of Homeland Security
Points:
5873
Join Date:
Oct 2009
Location:
New York, NY, Western Samoa

Ivan, Ivan, Ivan.. Man we are a sick group.. I think thats why we all get along.. Got a feeling nobody else would put up with us, and Schuylers not even here yet..

Pard.. i heard about that earthquake over in Norman.. Did you feel it over in Baja OK.. Wonder if it shook some since into Lyle.. I'm still laughing at that "over to you Molly" shit of his yesterday..

Anybody have any good info.. you all been watching the Chilian (?) miners come up.. Thats been the highlight of the week for me.. Oh yeah and obarry naming the ex head of fanny mae to run our National Security.. We haven't talked much about this, but really stupid.. The one real quality person in the cabnet is Gates.. Gates told O he would be a disaster.. That post is all about geo politics and interfaces with military.. so they pick a man from finance.. STUPID..

Like asking me to either do your brain surgery, or fix your computer (spell check still stuck)

a man has to hold his word, hold his beliefs, and hold a good sight picture.
3 years 38 weeks ago, 3:38 PM

Vaquero

Vaquero's picture

Rank:
General of the Army
Points:
5482
Join Date:
Dec 2009
Location:
West Texas
Greg

I didn't even know about it till a bud from back home said his wife felt it (the earthquake).
Hows you and yours?

The truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth!
3 years 38 weeks ago, 3:46 PM

HampsterW

HampsterW's picture

Rank:
Secretary of State
Points:
7723
Join Date:
Jan 2010
Location:
Cottonwood Heights, Utah, United States

watching the Chilean thing marveling at what a wonderful job everyone is doing, humming along like a well oiled machine. I look back to the mine disaster we had here down in Huntington UT a few years ago where the mining company and public officials looked like a 'monkey fucking a football', the Chilean's seem to have their shit together.

Change you can truly believe in comes from the barrel of a gun---------------------------------------------------------------------------------Ron Paul 2012----Vote the bastards out!---------------------------------
3 years 38 weeks ago, 3:50 PM

greg az

greg az's picture

Rank:
Secretary of Homeland Security
Points:
5873
Join Date:
Oct 2009
Location:
New York, NY, Western Samoa
Were doing great..

We were supposed to have the g-kids come up today, but daughters sick.. Either that or not in the mood to see us.. Actaully kidding about that were pretty tight..

Weather is great a steady 80 all day.. Finally got Red fired up.. I'm going to take Hamps advice and get a high amp temp switch to make Red fire a bit easier.. The glo plugs are new so its the control unit which is high bucks..

Not doing much except watching the news.. I wonder if Lyle felt that quake.. Put me down for the beer with him.. Thinking were going to have to get a big table..

a man has to hold his word, hold his beliefs, and hold a good sight picture.
3 years 38 weeks ago, 3:58 PM

greg az

greg az's picture

Rank:
Secretary of Homeland Security
Points:
5873
Join Date:
Oct 2009
Location:
New York, NY, Western Samoa

We did that trip to Yellowstone while that was going on.. and came real close to going over as we were on 89 and about mid way up Utah about 4 days into it..

We actually debated about it, as we were pretty close, but decided not to as we felt like with every thing the familys were going thru it would have been bad form..

Yep they have thier act together, and some real hero storys.. Apparantly a couple three of them lost it at the begining, and they have all supported each other so much that they have taken a vow of silence on that part of it.. Pretty cool stuff, and some real heros..

a man has to hold his word, hold his beliefs, and hold a good sight picture.
3 years 38 weeks ago, 4:00 PM

greg az

greg az's picture

Rank:
Secretary of Homeland Security
Points:
5873
Join Date:
Oct 2009
Location:
New York, NY, Western Samoa

Time for me to go spend some time with my baby.. Guys i shall see ya all later..

a man has to hold his word, hold his beliefs, and hold a good sight picture.
3 years 38 weeks ago, 4:12 PM

Vaquero

Vaquero's picture

Rank:
General of the Army
Points:
5482
Join Date:
Dec 2009
Location:
West Texas
Padre

The feller signing my checks and helping with your Social Security kinda dictates my schedule.
How flexible are you? BWWAAA HHAAAA HAAAA!!!!
Enjoy yer toob session.

The truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth!
3 years 38 weeks ago, 4:08 PM

Vaquero

Vaquero's picture

Rank:
General of the Army
Points:
5482
Join Date:
Dec 2009
Location:
West Texas
Chilean Miners

Do yall remember "Baby Jessica"? Fell in an unplugged well around Odessa, TX back in the early 80s. WOW! The way the folks are working together to one goal makes me proud of our race. (That's the human race I'm referring to)

The truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth!
3 years 38 weeks ago, 5:09 PM

Shakleford

Shakleford's picture

Rank:
General
Points:
2439
Join Date:
Feb 2009
Location:
Ft. Worth, Texas, United States

I wasn't very old, but I remember watching it on the T.V.! Did you hear that one of the Miners Wife and Mistess met each other at the mine! Bet he's Digging the other way!

"Two flags fly above my land that really sum up how I feel. One is the colors that fly high and proud the red the white the blue.The other ones got a rattlesnake with a simple statement made, Don’t Tread On Me is what it says"
3 years 38 weeks ago, 5:25 PM

HampsterW

HampsterW's picture

Rank:
Secretary of State
Points:
7723
Join Date:
Jan 2010
Location:
Cottonwood Heights, Utah, United States

It was 10/87 and I was five months into a four year stint in the Coast Guard, I watched the news in the evenings, not much else to do on base.....When I wasn't cleaning the 'head'.......lol

Change you can truly believe in comes from the barrel of a gun---------------------------------------------------------------------------------Ron Paul 2012----Vote the bastards out!---------------------------------
3 years 38 weeks ago, 5:35 PM

HKBauer

HKBauer's picture

Rank:
Lieutenant General
Points:
1532
Join Date:
Jul 2010
Location:
United States

I remember that I think I was 9 and thats all everyone was talking about at school and home.

3 years 38 weeks ago, 5:47 PM

HampsterW

HampsterW's picture

Rank:
Secretary of State
Points:
7723
Join Date:
Jan 2010
Location:
Cottonwood Heights, Utah, United States

There was no wiki or any of that shit.........I automatically remembered 10/87....It's funny how you pay attention to time when you are not real sure about what you have gotten yourself into. I had some disciplinary issues early on but they broke me of that in a hurry (hence my cleaning the head comment).....LOL!!!

Change you can truly believe in comes from the barrel of a gun---------------------------------------------------------------------------------Ron Paul 2012----Vote the bastards out!---------------------------------
3 years 38 weeks ago, 6:32 PM

HKBauer

HKBauer's picture

Rank:
Lieutenant General
Points:
1532
Join Date:
Jul 2010
Location:
United States

Kinda like I remember July 26 1996, the day that I blew out my knee. Never even had to look at my papers to get that day.

3 years 38 weeks ago, 6:22 PM

HampsterW

HampsterW's picture

Rank:
Secretary of State
Points:
7723
Join Date:
Jan 2010
Location:
Cottonwood Heights, Utah, United States
Sorry to hear it

Adam, my career was ended by choice and a sense responsibility (somewhat, and other factors of the time, I won't bore anybody). But it sure sucks having to leave on a medical if you are not ready.......My hat is off to ya'.

Change you can truly believe in comes from the barrel of a gun---------------------------------------------------------------------------------Ron Paul 2012----Vote the bastards out!---------------------------------
3 years 38 weeks ago, 6:33 PM

HKBauer

HKBauer's picture

Rank:
Lieutenant General
Points:
1532
Join Date:
Jul 2010
Location:
United States

my profile tells most of the story, but thanks Hamp.

3 years 38 weeks ago, 6:38 PM

HampsterW

HampsterW's picture

Rank:
Secretary of State
Points:
7723
Join Date:
Jan 2010
Location:
Cottonwood Heights, Utah, United States

it took me like nine months to fill mine out..........But without reading it I still know where you are coming from and I sense your 'displeasure' about being denied your chance, I would feel the same way.

Change you can truly believe in comes from the barrel of a gun---------------------------------------------------------------------------------Ron Paul 2012----Vote the bastards out!---------------------------------
3 years 38 weeks ago, 8:38 PM

HKBauer

HKBauer's picture

Rank:
Lieutenant General
Points:
1532
Join Date:
Jul 2010
Location:
United States

thanks Hamp its hard to believe it been 15yrs.

3 years 37 weeks ago, 2:24 PM

tallguy007

tallguy007's picture

Rank:
Lieutenant General
Points:
1916
Join Date:
Aug 2010
Location:
yavin, outer rim, American Samoa
lol

very fun

DEATH BEFORE DISHONOR
3 years 37 weeks ago, 2:30 PM

tallguy007

tallguy007's picture

Rank:
Lieutenant General
Points:
1916
Join Date:
Aug 2010
Location:
yavin, outer rim, American Samoa
here's one

sue been having sex from teen year and is now 20 and found out she's had 100 guys,she met a hunk named jan told him that she was a virgin on the night of the wedding the had wild sex for hours when done jan did not look happy sue thinking her lie is about to come out said you do not believe am a virgin? jan says yes and sue says your a virgin? jan says NOW THAT AM A MAN.
I got others but they r real bad lol

DEATH BEFORE DISHONOR

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