Forums / Off Topic / Hey Ebear, I found a match for you on Match.com

4 years 16 weeks ago, 7:18 PM

catfish88

catfish88's picture

Rank:
General
Points:
2586
Join Date:
Jan 2009

Laura Llama...Ebears chic

Name: Laura Llama
Age: 4
Height: 5’4 (top of ears to hoof)
Hair: brown and fluffy
Hobbies: spitting, eating grass, walking on hills
Location: A steep meadow
Dream home: the municipal petting zoo (all the free food you can get!)
Favorite Political Figure: The Dahli Lama
Favorite food: Kentucky Blue Grass, and corn feed
Marriage status: Single (recently out of a bad relationship with a controlling sheep)
Children: No, but want them in the future
Religion: Undecided

What I’m looking for in a man: Ok, here goes, I like mysterious men who speak strange languages. My favorite type of men are Mexican, because they really know to treat a lady. They are also usually good swimmers, which I admire. He must be funny and say whats on his mind even if it’s rude. Also if he knows how to make a piñata, that’s a plus. He must have a stable job. Also, did I mention I like to spit? I really like it when they spit back.

Ideal Dream Date: Long walks up steep hills. A trip to the local Co-Op would be nice. I’m not a picky woman, but once in a while I’d like to be taken out for dinner, but it doesn’t have to be fancy, your neighbors vegetable garden would be just fine.

Accomplishments: I won blue ribbon at the local FFA livestock competition for softest hair. I also won 2nd place for most manicured hoofs and 3rd place in the distance spitting competition, (I was beat out for Carmen Cameltoe the Camel, that slut!!)

4 years 16 weeks ago, 7:19 PM

catfish88

catfish88's picture

Rank:
General
Points:
2586
Join Date:
Jan 2009

Umm Ebear, I found something for you!

4 years 16 weeks ago, 5:38 PM

tallguy007

tallguy007's picture

Rank:
Lieutenant General
Points:
2047
Join Date:
Aug 2010
Location:
yavin, outer rim, American Samoa
wooooo

SHE'S A HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOTIES

DEATH BEFORE DISHONOR
4 years 16 weeks ago, 5:45 PM

manu2014

manu2014's picture

Rank:
Lieutenant General
Points:
926
Join Date:
Feb 2009
Location:
Raleigh
ebeaaaaaaarrrrrrrrr

Your BFFL is lonely. She is going to get jealous of that AK you're wearing the blueing off of.

Rather than love, than money, than fame, give me truth. Thoreau
4 years 16 weeks ago, 7:12 PM

Ebear

Ebear's picture

Rank:
Speaker of the House
Points:
8497
Join Date:
Jun 2008
Location:
elgin, il, United States
f that!!!

this lil bitch has been stalking me for a month, yeah she likes mexican men allright....five at a time!!!! her vagina is so rancid, the Donner Party refused to eat her out!!!! She gave Snakes Rooster aids!, ( sorry Bro, I know about it) her queefs leave skid marks and she cums in chunks.......but she did have a bubbly personality.......so i fucked her........and now my penis glows.....thanks anyways Cat....you and Ace hook up yet?

...check... G-AZ
4 years 16 weeks ago, 7:41 PM

catfish88

catfish88's picture

Rank:
General
Points:
2586
Join Date:
Jan 2009

I don't know ebear, her eyes make her look like a real sweetheart. At least Hamp can find you in his pink sheets with that glowing penis of yours. No hook ups for me ebear. I'm still waiting for when it's my turn to be badgirls gunslot boyfriend. I'm saving myself for her.

4 years 16 weeks ago, 7:52 PM

HampsterW

HampsterW's picture

Rank:
Secretary of State
Points:
7723
Join Date:
Jan 2010
Location:
Cottonwood Heights, Utah, United States
Well,

I'm off to eat my stale cornbread and Ketchup....err....ahh......Pizza, catch you degenerates later!!!
As an aside.....THE FUCKING SHEETS ARE PINK BECAUSE EBEAR DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO DO LAUNDRY!!!!!!!(deep breath!, sigh!) We separate colors from whites.......You fucking moron...........(sniff, sniff).........I didn't mean it .........really.....Ha ha ha ha!

Change you can truly believe in comes from the barrel of a gun---------------------------------------------------------------------------------Ron Paul 2012----Vote the bastards out!---------------------------------
4 years 16 weeks ago, 7:19 PM

HampsterW

HampsterW's picture

Rank:
Secretary of State
Points:
7723
Join Date:
Jan 2010
Location:
Cottonwood Heights, Utah, United States
Jesus ebear, I got

pizza cooking and now I have a lovely mental image to eat it with, five Mexicans......cum's in chunks......Barf!!

Change you can truly believe in comes from the barrel of a gun---------------------------------------------------------------------------------Ron Paul 2012----Vote the bastards out!---------------------------------
4 years 16 weeks ago, 7:23 PM

Ebear

Ebear's picture

Rank:
Speaker of the House
Points:
8497
Join Date:
Jun 2008
Location:
elgin, il, United States
pizza

in Utah??? what is that a piece of stale cornbread with ketchup on it?

...check... G-AZ
4 years 16 weeks ago, 7:27 PM

HampsterW

HampsterW's picture

Rank:
Secretary of State
Points:
7723
Join Date:
Jan 2010
Location:
Cottonwood Heights, Utah, United States
HEY! We have

a Super Wallymart and every stuff and we just got indoor plumbing!!!!!

Change you can truly believe in comes from the barrel of a gun---------------------------------------------------------------------------------Ron Paul 2012----Vote the bastards out!---------------------------------
4 years 16 weeks ago, 8:26 PM

OozeRat

OozeRat's picture

Rank:
Major General
Points:
672
Join Date:
Feb 2010
Location:
West Jordan, Utah, United States

Indoor plummin's only on the east side of the valley over here on the west side you are rich if you have an outhouse and poor folk like me have to dig a hole every time.

Nothing is as risky as certain failure.
4 years 16 weeks ago, 7:53 PM

catfish88

catfish88's picture

Rank:
General
Points:
2586
Join Date:
Jan 2009

Indoor plumbing is so nice! We just got that here in Tenn last year. I don't know how I lived without it. Of course now we are all wondering what to do witht he outhouse. Maybe make it into a chicken coup. But, indoor plumbing has been the best thing to happen since electricity, which was just 4 years ago. Well, that and shoes. I still remember my first pair. I was 22 and my paw gave em to me as a reward for bringing home all those oppossum furs that we traded for a new broom. Maws was pretty haggard after 20 years.

4 years 16 weeks ago, 8:05 PM

HampsterW

HampsterW's picture

Rank:
Secretary of State
Points:
7723
Join Date:
Jan 2010
Location:
Cottonwood Heights, Utah, United States
Y'all got shoes??

We ain't that sophistamacated out west, we ain't like them Ebear 'city slickers'..........We may not have pizza (proper) but what we do have is reasonable gun laws.............Jab...........twist.....LOL!

Change you can truly believe in comes from the barrel of a gun---------------------------------------------------------------------------------Ron Paul 2012----Vote the bastards out!---------------------------------
4 years 16 weeks ago, 8:06 PM

Lyle Hutchins 1

Lyle Hutchins 1's picture

Rank:
Lieutenant General
Points:
1261
Join Date:
Feb 2009
Location:
Cee-more, Ok., United States
cat, Hamp

I just pulled up my pant legs, wading through all the bullshit I'm reading, the first lyre here don't stand a chance!!!
Electric, plumbing, Wal-Mart.
Lyle

Lyle Hutchinson
4 years 16 weeks ago, 8:18 PM

HampsterW

HampsterW's picture

Rank:
Secretary of State
Points:
7723
Join Date:
Jan 2010
Location:
Cottonwood Heights, Utah, United States
You got me Lyle,

one of your kids lives here in 'the land of Zion' if I remember right..........I'm so Busted!!!

Change you can truly believe in comes from the barrel of a gun---------------------------------------------------------------------------------Ron Paul 2012----Vote the bastards out!---------------------------------
4 years 16 weeks ago, 8:34 PM

Lyle Hutchins 1

Lyle Hutchins 1's picture

Rank:
Lieutenant General
Points:
1261
Join Date:
Feb 2009
Location:
Cee-more, Ok., United States
Hamp

'the land of Zion', yes she lives down the Hill from Hill Air Base. Cross the Hi-Way to the west, plus a few blocks.
I got to visit the Base this summer. Whe I get this posting thing down I'll put some photos of some birds.
Lyle

Lyle Hutchinson
4 years 16 weeks ago, 8:56 PM

HampsterW

HampsterW's picture

Rank:
Secretary of State
Points:
7723
Join Date:
Jan 2010
Location:
Cottonwood Heights, Utah, United States

and I am working on the pictures tutorial.....give me a few!

Change you can truly believe in comes from the barrel of a gun---------------------------------------------------------------------------------Ron Paul 2012----Vote the bastards out!---------------------------------
4 years 16 weeks ago, 8:58 PM

Lyle Hutchins 1

Lyle Hutchins 1's picture

Rank:
Lieutenant General
Points:
1261
Join Date:
Feb 2009
Location:
Cee-more, Ok., United States
Hampster

Ok. thanks
Lyle

Lyle Hutchinson

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