Forums / Off Topic / Hospital Horrors (funny)

5 years 32 weeks ago, 7:05 AM

GoldenTrojan

GoldenTrojan's picture

Rank:
Captain
Points:
32
Join Date:
Mar 2009
Location:
Roderfield, West Virginia

I work at a Hospital as a nurse. Some of the things I run into day to day make me smile as I lay down to sleep at night.
1) A man comes into our ER with an STP (oil treatment) bottle up his A$$. (literally)!! His wife is crying as she sits in the bedside chair, saying "I thought all of this was behind him" (obviously this guy had this to happen to him multiple times by his recent notes in the chart) and without hesitation our doctor grins and says "well it was behind him, that's why he was here" The look on her face = Priceless.
Another time we had a woman to come in "hung up" with a german shepherd. She lovingly had him and herself wrapped up in a long black trench coat (for the dogs humility I'm sure).
Once we removed a dead gerbil from a man's anus. His gay lover stated that they had inserted a pipe, and released the gerbil. After 2 hours of waiting, it never returned. (F.Y.I I truely hated this case).
We've had a woman in the E.R. not once, not twice, but 3 times for removale of a D Cell battery from the vagina.
Here's the one that really made me say WOW. A guy comes in complaining of painful urination and says he suspects a "foreign object". Upon further review of the C.T. Scan by our humerous physician. It was discovered this gentlemen had a crayon in his bladder. (yep, he'd pushed it up into the down pipe a bit too far)

Any of you all have things this funny happening in your day to day life?? I've got a millon more...lol

5 years 31 weeks ago, 6:43 PM

Nitris

Nitris's picture

Rank:
Lieutenant General
Points:
1913
Join Date:
Nov 2008
Location:
ok...........

I can say you have an interesting job.

Ron Paul 2012 III
5 years 31 weeks ago, 9:43 PM

DEMO

DEMO's picture

Rank:
Lieutenant General
Points:
1268
Join Date:
Oct 2008
Location:
Hamburg, NY

Just think- we will have to pay for all this with socialized healthcare.

We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defence, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do
5 years 31 weeks ago, 10:59 PM

raffycanlas

raffycanlas's picture

Rank:
General
Points:
2636
Join Date:
Nov 2008
Location:
New England Territory
haha golden trojan

my wife works in the hospital too, but she said 99.99% of the stuff that goes on there are rednecks(especially the trashy women) fake migraines so they can get their drug of choice pill and cops and social services coming to arrest newborn moms because they have drugs in their system during birth.

I'm just another damn yankee with a loaded gun looking for some fun!
5 years 31 weeks ago, 3:33 AM

Pkato

Pkato's picture

Rank:
General
Points:
3348
Join Date:
Aug 2008
Location:
Fort Walton Beach, Florida, United States
too funny

Keep them coming, I haven't laughed so hard in a while...

PKato

Patrolman Kato
Firearms stand next in importance to the Constitution itself.
They are the American people's liberty teeth and keystone
under independence. -- George Washington
5 years 31 weeks ago, 6:40 AM

Pkato

Pkato's picture

Rank:
General
Points:
3348
Join Date:
Aug 2008
Location:
Fort Walton Beach, Florida, United States

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20090309203132AA7pTQs

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20080816034403AAhSQ3Z

http://www.pinoyblogosphere.com/2008/04/15/surgery-for-a-canister-stuck-...

Patrolman Kato
Firearms stand next in importance to the Constitution itself.
They are the American people's liberty teeth and keystone
under independence. -- George Washington
5 years 31 weeks ago, 7:37 AM

birdebyrd

birdebyrd's picture

Rank:
Brigadier General
Points:
320
Join Date:
Feb 2009
Location:
50 Miles WEST of the Atlantic, GA

She once related a story of a patient whose scrotum was swollen to the size of a softball... upon further investigation it was determined he had a massive infection from "do-it-yourself" surgery. Apparently, he got one of his testicles caught in the unprotected belt-drive of a lathe. Yup, he lost one of his boys! He was too embarassed to seek medical attention so he tried to staple his scrotum back together with a box-stapler. No explanation was ever offered as to how he got his britches caught in the belt drive in the first place.

Feedin' the till, for the "Stimulus" Bill (since 1974)

Who's Online

Guns Lot Activity
Users
Currently Active Users: 687 (0 members and 687 guests)

Guns Lot Statistics
Stats Topics: 8,658, Comments: 161,123, Members: 23,517
Welcome our newest member: Hank6046

Recent Activity