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HOW TO CALL THE POLICE
HOW TO CALL THE POLICE George Phillips , an elderly man, from Meridian, Mississippi, was going up to bed, when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window. George opened the back door to go turn off the light, but saw that there were people in the shed stealing things. He phoned the police, who asked "Is someone in your house?" He said "No," but some people are breaking into my garden shed and stealing from me. Then the police dispatcher said "All patrols are busy. You should lock your doors and an officer will be along when one is available." George said, "Okay." He hung up the phone and counted to 30. Then he phoned the police again. "Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people stealing things from my shed. Well, you don't have to worry about them now because I just shot them." and he hung up. Within five minutes, six Police Cars, a SWAT Team, a Helicopter, two Fire Trucks, a Paramedic, and an Ambulance showed up at the P! hillips' residence, and caught the burglars red-handed. One of the Policemen said to George, "I thought you said that you'd shot them!" George said, "I thought you said there was nobody available!" (True Story) I LOVE IT! |
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ssrs10
Funny
James2213
this is a funny story
raffycanlas
owned!
fordvg
And then they want to take our guns away from us and we are to wait for the police to take care of us. Yes, after the bad guy has shot and killed us. The cops where busy at the donut shop.
James2213
for this reason alone buergulary is why i keep a Taurus PT92AF ready to spit out some nasty homade explosive 9mm bullits(and they are realy quite explosive) within arms distance with five 18rd mags (including the one aready in the gun) to take care of any bad guys that feel they need to be in my house on my property putting my life in danger. I say if you want something done right you got to do it youreself. This my friend is the way it will always be it will never change. for example without good there is no evil and without evil there can be no good.
runawaygun762
I have Claymore mines in all four upper corners of my tool shed and a minefield in the backyard and a minigun on automatic laser sensor mounts in each room programmed to fire at anything without the same bio signature readings of my family members, myself, and my dogs. And Chuck Norris on speed-dial. Yeah, baby.
Anonymous
i guess i should get around to building that gun emplacement in the center island in my driveway!and putting out the concertina wire that will be placed in the blackberry bushes around my home.hell,i dont even need the wire with the blackberries around!(western washington has the best blackberry bushes in the world!)natural fencing!
runawaygun762
Those and mullberries are great. My wife still thinks it's bad to eat them. She was missing out when we had a mullberry tree in KS.
Anonymous
dude,this summer when the wife makes jam from them i will personally send a jar for her to try!aint nothin' like blackberry jam and toast!never had mulberry's but hear they are great!
runawaygun762
She seems to think if you pick it right off the bush/tree/vine and eat it, you're going to eat bugs. It happens, but I can't get her to understand it's okay. And she grew up in rural Missouri. She should know better. What the hell happened to her. She even prefers Target over Wal-Mart now. I think I hate my wife.
Anonymous
you need to straighten her ass out!Target dont even sell ammo!what the hell are you supposed to look at while you are there with her?plants and shit?good luck bro!
runawaygun762
Granted, Wal-mart doesn't carry much ammo anymore either, but they do try. Target has much hotter cashiers, though.
Anonymous
ok,i am with you on that!walmart women?RRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLPPPPPHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
runawaygun762
I have actually mistaken a couple wal mart ladies for Wookies from Star Wars. there is one at my wal-mart who has a fuckin' rockin body, nice little latina hips, but her face is kinda mean looking. Not ugly, she just looks like she wants to stab everyone.
Anonymous
ebears sister!lol!!!!!!!!!
runawaygun762
If this is true, I want to do your sister. But I have a scar from a Mexican already, so I need you to take her knives and nails away before she goes to work.
Lyle Hutchins 1
What the HELL do you mean when in doubt, 30 out
splain it.
runawaygun762
When you don't know what else to do, empty your magazine. It can also be said, "When in doubt, attack".
runawaygun762
YOU DON'T DEMAND AN EXPLANATION FROM A GENERAL. I'LL HAVE YOUR OAK LEAF!!!! Hah hah. I'm a funny mother effer, huh?