Forums / Strategies, Tactics & Training / HOW TO CALL THE POLICE

5 years 20 weeks ago, 7:48 PM

samD

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HOW TO CALL THE POLICE

HOW TO CALL THE POLICE
WHEN YOU'RE OLD
AND DON'T MOVE FAST ANYMORE.

George Phillips , an elderly man, from Meridian, Mississippi, was going up to bed, when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window. George opened the back door to go turn off the light, but saw that there were people in the shed stealing things.

He phoned the police, who asked "Is someone in your house?"

He said "No," but some people are breaking into my garden shed and stealing from me.

Then the police dispatcher said "All patrols are busy. You should lock your doors and an officer will be along when one is available."

George said, "Okay."

He hung up the phone and counted to 30.

Then he phoned the police again.

"Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people stealing things from my shed. Well, you don't have to worry about them now because I just shot them." and he hung up.

Within five minutes, six Police Cars, a SWAT Team, a Helicopter, two Fire Trucks, a Paramedic, and an Ambulance showed up at the P! hillips' residence, and caught the burglars red-handed.

One of the Policemen said to George, "I thought you said that you'd shot them!"

George said, "I thought you said there was nobody available!"

(True Story) I LOVE IT!
Don't mess with old people

5 years 20 weeks ago, 9:54 PM

ssrs10

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Funny

Funny

It's 106 miles to Chicago, we got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark, and we're wearing sunglasses
5 years 20 weeks ago, 10:28 PM

James2213

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Sad but true

this is a funny story

James W. Student Marksman Musician "Life is tough....It's even tougher if you're stupid". -John Wayne
5 years 20 weeks ago, 10:42 PM

raffycanlas

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hahaha police

owned!

I'm just another damn yankee with a loaded gun looking for some fun!
5 years 20 weeks ago, 10:44 PM

fordvg

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Very very sad but true

And then they want to take our guns away from us and we are to wait for the police to take care of us. Yes, after the bad guy has shot and killed us. The cops where busy at the donut shop.

"WAR IS A RACKET, I spent most of my time being a high-class muscle-man for Big Business, for Wall Street, and for the Bankers." Major-General Smedley Darlington Butler USMC Ret. 2 time Medal of Honor winner.
5 years 20 weeks ago, 10:59 PM

James2213

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for this reason alone buergulary is why i keep a Taurus PT92AF ready to spit out some nasty homade explosive 9mm bullits(and they are realy quite explosive) within arms distance with five 18rd mags (including the one aready in the gun) to take care of any bad guys that feel they need to be in my house on my property putting my life in danger. I say if you want something done right you got to do it youreself. This my friend is the way it will always be it will never change. for example without good there is no evil and without evil there can be no good.

James W. Student Marksman Musician "Life is tough....It's even tougher if you're stupid". -John Wayne
5 years 20 weeks ago, 1:05 AM

runawaygun762

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Yeah, that's why

I have Claymore mines in all four upper corners of my tool shed and a minefield in the backyard and a minigun on automatic laser sensor mounts in each room programmed to fire at anything without the same bio signature readings of my family members, myself, and my dogs. And Chuck Norris on speed-dial. Yeah, baby.

"I have always been a soldier. I have known no other life. The calling of arms, I have followed from boyhood. I have never sought another." From The Virtues of War, by Steven Pressfield.
5 years 20 weeks ago, 3:03 AM

Anonymous

my weekend project

i guess i should get around to building that gun emplacement in the center island in my driveway!and putting out the concertina wire that will be placed in the blackberry bushes around my home.hell,i dont even need the wire with the blackberries around!(western washington has the best blackberry bushes in the world!)natural fencing!

5 years 20 weeks ago, 3:30 AM

runawaygun762

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Mmm, blackberries

Those and mullberries are great. My wife still thinks it's bad to eat them. She was missing out when we had a mullberry tree in KS.

"I have always been a soldier. I have known no other life. The calling of arms, I have followed from boyhood. I have never sought another." From The Virtues of War, by Steven Pressfield.
5 years 20 weeks ago, 3:40 AM

Anonymous

dude,this summer when the wife makes jam from them i will personally send a jar for her to try!aint nothin' like blackberry jam and toast!never had mulberry's but hear they are great!

5 years 20 weeks ago, 3:43 AM

runawaygun762

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She's retarded

She seems to think if you pick it right off the bush/tree/vine and eat it, you're going to eat bugs. It happens, but I can't get her to understand it's okay. And she grew up in rural Missouri. She should know better. What the hell happened to her. She even prefers Target over Wal-Mart now. I think I hate my wife.

"I have always been a soldier. I have known no other life. The calling of arms, I have followed from boyhood. I have never sought another." From The Virtues of War, by Steven Pressfield.
5 years 20 weeks ago, 3:46 AM

Anonymous

damn dude!

you need to straighten her ass out!Target dont even sell ammo!what the hell are you supposed to look at while you are there with her?plants and shit?good luck bro!

5 years 20 weeks ago, 3:49 AM

runawaygun762

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Target sucks cock

Granted, Wal-mart doesn't carry much ammo anymore either, but they do try. Target has much hotter cashiers, though.

"I have always been a soldier. I have known no other life. The calling of arms, I have followed from boyhood. I have never sought another." From The Virtues of War, by Steven Pressfield.
5 years 20 weeks ago, 3:51 AM

Anonymous

hot cashiers!

ok,i am with you on that!walmart women?RRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLPPPPPHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

5 years 20 weeks ago, 3:54 AM

runawaygun762

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Agreed

I have actually mistaken a couple wal mart ladies for Wookies from Star Wars. there is one at my wal-mart who has a fuckin' rockin body, nice little latina hips, but her face is kinda mean looking. Not ugly, she just looks like she wants to stab everyone.

"I have always been a soldier. I have known no other life. The calling of arms, I have followed from boyhood. I have never sought another." From The Virtues of War, by Steven Pressfield.
5 years 20 weeks ago, 3:57 AM

Anonymous

must be

ebears sister!lol!!!!!!!!!

5 years 20 weeks ago, 4:05 AM

runawaygun762

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ebear!!!!

If this is true, I want to do your sister. But I have a scar from a Mexican already, so I need you to take her knives and nails away before she goes to work.

"I have always been a soldier. I have known no other life. The calling of arms, I have followed from boyhood. I have never sought another." From The Virtues of War, by Steven Pressfield.
5 years 20 weeks ago, 4:27 AM

Lyle Hutchins 1

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What the HELL do you mean when in doubt, 30 out

splain it.

Lyle Hutchinson
5 years 20 weeks ago, 4:38 AM

runawaygun762

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When you don't know what else to do, empty your magazine. It can also be said, "When in doubt, attack".

"I have always been a soldier. I have known no other life. The calling of arms, I have followed from boyhood. I have never sought another." From The Virtues of War, by Steven Pressfield.
5 years 20 weeks ago, 4:41 AM

runawaygun762

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YOU DON'T DEMAND AN EXPLANATION FROM A GENERAL. I'LL HAVE YOUR OAK LEAF!!!! Hah hah. I'm a funny mother effer, huh?

"I have always been a soldier. I have known no other life. The calling of arms, I have followed from boyhood. I have never sought another." From The Virtues of War, by Steven Pressfield.

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