Forums / Political & Legal / how to handle the DEMOCRATS

5 years 25 weeks ago, 10:31 AM

ivantank

ivantank's picture

Rank:
General
Points:
3383
Join Date:
Feb 2009
Location:
lancaster, south carolina, United States

:O
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Sometime this year, we taxpayers may again receive an Economic Stimulus payment.

This is a very exciting new program.

I will explain it using the Q and A format:

Q. What is an Economic Stimulus payment?
A It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.
Q. Where will the government get this money?
A From taxpayers.
Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?
A. Only a smidgen.
Q. What is the purpose of this payment?
A. The plan is that you will use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.
Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China?
A. Shut up.

Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the US economy by spending your stimulus check wisely:

* If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, the money will go to China.
* If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to the Arabs.
* If you purchase a computer, it will go to India.
* If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico, Honduras and Guatemala.
* If you buy a car, it will go to Japan.
* If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan.
* If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, it will go to management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.

Instead, keep the money in America by:

1 spending it at yard sales, or
2 going to ball games, or
3 spending it on prostitutes, or
4 beer, or
5 tattoos..
(These are the only American businesses still operating in the US .)

So to spend your stimulus wisely, go to a ball game with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a yard sale and drink beer all day!

I have reasons for the things I do, just don't expect them to be reasonable
5 years 25 weeks ago, 10:38 AM

samD

samD's picture

Rank:
President
Points:
15597
Join Date:
Aug 2008
Location:
Green Valley, Free State of Arizona, United States

Stimulate yourself and your ho!

5 years 24 weeks ago, 6:15 PM

catfish88

catfish88's picture

Rank:
General
Points:
2586
Join Date:
Jan 2009

Sam, I've been doing that for years and I haven't seen any changes besides my blurry vision and hair growth on my palms.

5 years 24 weeks ago, 5:57 PM

Mosinfreak

Mosinfreak's picture

Rank:
Major General
Points:
678
Join Date:
May 2009
Location:
Somewhere in, Texas
smokes too

tobacco still comes from here too

"Guard against the impostures of pretended patriotism" -George Washington, Farewell Address, September 19, 1796

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