Forums / Off Topic / Just In Case / Archie Bunker. I wanted to share this.

1 year 32 weeks ago, 7:46 PM

Dlakeside

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Rank:
Major General
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646
Join Date:
Nov 2008
Location:
Deering, NH, United States

I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to track down terrorists. You can't be older than 42 to join the military. They've got the whole thing ass-backwards.

Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join a military unit until you're at least 35.

For starters, researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more than 28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.

Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. 'My back hurts! I can't sleep, I'm tired and hungry.' We are impatient and maybe letting us kill some asshole that desperately deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for awhile..

An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10am. Old guys always get up early to pee, so what the hell. Besides, like I said, I'm tired and can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may as well be up killing some fanatical son-of-a-bitch.

If captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser.

Boot camp would be easier for old guys.. We're used to getting screamed and yelled at and we're used to soft food. We've also developed an appreciation for guns. We've been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the house, away from the screaming and yelling.

They could lighten up on the obstacle course however... I've been in combat and never saw a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any pushups after completing basic training.

Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too... I've never seen anyone outrun a bullet.

An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to shave, to start a conversation with a pretty girl. He still hasn't figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back of his head.

These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little more about life before sending them off into harm's way.

Let us old guys track down those dirty rotten coward terrorists. The last thing an enemy would want to see is a couple million pissed off
old farts with attitudes and automatic weapons, who know that their best years are already behind them.

OR

HEY!! How about recruiting Women over 50...in menopause!!! You think MEN have attitudes??
Ohhhhhhhhhhhh my God!!! If nothing else, put them on border patrol. They'll have it secured the first night!
greyeagle

1 year 32 weeks ago, 7:58 AM

MattyTheJet

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Rank:
Lieutenant General
Points:
1027
Join Date:
Mar 2012
Location:
Sebring, Florida, United States
LOL

I laughed so hard at this I could barely breathe! It reminded me of the old "Drew Carey" show, where Mimi was teaching the senior self defense class which consisted of them screaming "Back off, I've got a gun! I'm old, life in prison means nothing to me!"

1 year 31 weeks ago, 7:54 AM

LLE

LLE's picture

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General
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2852
Join Date:
Jul 2008
Location:
United States

from Dlakeside, and LMAO, remembering "basic" training.

I must say that I would prefer guarding our Southern border [good weapons and live ammo], since the Homeland Defense weenies, don't know how to.

Too old to fight, Too old to run, guess that's why I carry a gun! "would someone show this asshole the way out of town".[Rabbi Avram Belinski-aka "The Frisco Kid"]
1 year 31 weeks ago, 6:52 PM

MattyTheJet

MattyTheJet's picture

Rank:
Lieutenant General
Points:
1027
Join Date:
Mar 2012
Location:
Sebring, Florida, United States
In their defense

They do think our Southern border is Canada.

1 year 31 weeks ago, 6:32 AM

gomer

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Rank:
Major
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40
Join Date:
Dec 2009
Location:
lancaster, ohio, United States
archie bunker

I couldn't agree more! On all points. Where do I sign up?

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