greasypaws  |
Let's Offend Everyone! Q. What's the Cuban National Anthem? Q. Where does an Irish family go on vacation? Q. What did the Chinese couple name their tan, curly-haired baby? Q. What do you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other? Q. Why aren't there any Puerto Ricans on Star Trek? Q. Why do Driver Ed classes in redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays? Q. What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo? Q How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the 'F' word? Q. What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale??? Q. Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team? "There is a time for all things, a time to preach and a time to pray, but those times have passed away. There is a time to fight, and that time has now come." --Peter Muhlenberg, from a Lutheran sermon read at Woodstock, Virginia, 1776
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runawaygun762
Greasy, I thought you were coming up with a plan to go out and piss people off and blame it on the Democrats. Thought you were on to something there. Oh well. Maybe I can come up with something. HEY, I GOT IT!!! There are quite a few homeless people here, so maybe I should wait in the Wal-mart parking lot for people with Obama bumper stickers on their cars to come out, mug them, give the money to the homeless, and tell the victims, "Now imagine this on a national scale with the police powers of the government instead of my gun". Think it'll work?
zx12rmike
runaway-Can we start in Kalifornia?
runawaygun762
I convinced the wife to nix a trip to Disneyland when the tickets were free, just to avoid the left coast. You people there have made your bed, so either sleep in it, or come to my bed. That didn't come out right. Ah, hell, who am I kidding. That's exactly what I meant. Come on, big boy.
zx12rmike
I'm there runs! What's your address?
runawaygun762
7833 E Lane Ranch Rd
Hereford, AZ 85615
Hah. Bet you didn't think I'd really post it, huh? I'm in a good place in that guests are welcome, and unwanted visitors disappear in the mountains. Heh heh.
zx12rmike
samD you are right he is nuts, or playing with 'em!
zx12rmike
Better not be lying cuz I'm googlin right now!
runawaygun762
I rent from someone else. Renting sucks, because I'm not allowed to put kevlar panels in the walls. Oh well. When I retire, I'll buy.
zx12rmike
my best friends brother lives an hour east of Kingman and he has 40 acres. I have been there a couple times and i love it there. I think you are a little south of there right?
runawaygun762
I know where Tucson is. That's about it.
runawaygun762
No, Kingman, AZ is in the NW part of the stae, I'm in the SE, well within rifle range of Mexico.
zx12rmike
Is it legal to shoot the aliens if you call 'em prairie dogs? If so I'm packing my stuff tonight!
zx12rmike
Well I just figured out you are in the DEEP south and Kingman is the Northwest,about four hours away I'd guess. I have also been to a very nice area in the North, Prescott, AZ. I tried to get my wife to move there, but it was too far from here family and they would miss the grand kids too much.
runawaygun762
I'm about an hour away from Tucson, three hours from Scottsdale, and the weather here is about 15 degrees cooler than Phoenix, plenty of rain, and NO TORNADOES!!!! Kansas is nice, but humidity and tornadoes can put a damper on things. This place is great. The post here sucks, and I hate my unit, but retiring here seems like a good idea. The only thing i don't understand is why nobody has basements here. Seems like digging down would be a good thing around here.
zx12rmike
Too many scorpions snakes and tarantulas would be my guess!!
runawaygun762
Monsoons definitely bring out some weird critters, and lots of them. I've only seen one scorpion at my house, but plenty of tarantulas, whip scorpions (vinegaroons), camel spiders, centipedes, and snakes. The most annoying critter out here is the grasshoppers. It's like a fucking plague in the backyard
photobear6
any more than say 1. I hate fucking snakes, spiders, and anything else that slithers crawls and is Poisonous
ecaman
I would imagine that few people there have a basement because of the cost. Land is cheap (comparatively) in the southwest, and the cost of putting in a basement properly would probably be more than adding more rooms to a house. That's the situation in the part of Texas where I grew up. Here in central Utah, most houses have basements because they're cool in the summer and in general make the upper part of the house easier to heat in the winter.
runawaygun762
Hell, most of the houses down here are the big ass premanufactured homes. These things are definitely a bad idea. The insulation here is terrible and my electric bill from the AC is outfuckingrageous. If I retire here, I'm definitely buying a real house with thick walls.
runawaygun762
Very few animals here are poisonous. They're almost all okay to eat. Hah hah hah. See, animals that are dangerous to eat or secrete dangerous chemicals as defense are poisonous, animals that inject dangerous chemicals as a way to kill or immobilize prey are called venomous. See how that works? Okay, I really am pathetic, huh? I hate myself sometimes. Time to go poop.
ecaman
Utility bills will kill you. They rely on cheap insulation between the walls, which is totally ineffective. Both your heating & cooling have to work overtime just to keep the place barely liveable. We lived in a trailer outside St. Louis, which was cold inside all winter, with the heater running full blast. And you're right, the thicker the walls, the better. If you do retire in southern AZ, see if you can find an adobe or even a stucko place. (We were in Mesa a week or so ago, & it was 104. With everything concrete there now, it was miserable.) The house in which I grew up in north Texas had a thick layer of rock on the outside, & my dad insulated it well, both the walls & especially over the ceilings, & it never got too hot in the summer, even in the days before A/C. The house in which I lived in eastern PA before moving to UT was built around 1780 & had rock & stucko walls 18" thick, which was great. Easy & cheap to heat or cool.
runawaygun762
It's not even very hot here in the mountains compared to Phoenix or Tucson, but I'm still looking into an adobe style place. I saw a Modern Marvels show where they had preformed, interlocking styrofoam walls with space between to pour the concrete for the walls. Supposedly it saves a shitload on utilities with the styrofoam insulation on the inside and outside of the walls. I'll research quite a bit. I figure if it's going to be my retirement house, I might as well pay through the nose initially so I don't have to worry about too much maintenance when I get old like samD or ebear's grandmother's dildo.
greasypaws
houses are supposed to have wheels goddamnit!
Mark3030
my house is 127 yrs old it wouldn't know what to do w/wheels
zx12rmike
Yea and if there weren't any "mobile" homes, where would the damn tornadoes go to play!
runawaygun762
Now don't get me wrong, I became an expert at an early age at relighting the pilot lights to the heater, water heater, and stove because of the "drafty" nature of single-wides, but they aren't much better than tents in terms of insulation.
luckybychoice
if you invite the relatives over to help you take the wheels off your new home.
Mark3030
LMAO
luckybychoice
hows it going ?enjoying the monsoon season?
Mark3030
w/work and no i'm sick of the damn rain just over a week ago it was 80 now we lucky to see 60 hope we get nice weather soon how you been/
luckybychoice
trying to mow my lawn,go shooting,ride the Harley,all outdoor stuff.If it doesn't quit raining i'm gonna have to shoot my lawnmower while riding the Harley!
Mark3030
damn thats bad. I can just imagine driving around in circle in youre garage on youre Harley shooting your lawnmower. going stir crazy because winter is comin on. LOL
ebear
what up playa!!!???