Forums / Off Topic / Little bit of gun related jokes. Enjoy!

3 years 34 weeks ago, 8:53 PM

Snake

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1. " A tough old Montana cowboy once told his grandson that, if he wanted to live a long life, the secret was to sprinkle a little gunpowder on his oatmeal every morning.

The grandson did this religiously, and he lived to the age of 93. When he died he left 14 children, 28 grandchildren, 35 great-grandchildren ... and a 15-foot hole in the wall of the crematorium.
"

2. "An old Italian Mafia Don is dying and he called his grandson to his bed Grandson I wanta you to listen to me. I wanta you to take mya 45 automatic pistol, so you will always remember me. But grandpa I really don't like guns, how about you leaving me your Rolex watch instead.

You lisina to me, some day you goin a be runna da bussiness, you goina have a beautiful wife, lotsa money, a biga home and maybe a couple od bambino, some day you goina come hom and maybe finda you wife in be with another man. Whata you gonna do then? Pointa to you watch and say, "TIMES UP"?

3. This young man in the Old West wanted to be the best gunfighter alive.
One night as he was sitting in a saloon, he spotted an old man who had
the reputation of being the greatest gunfighter in his day.

The young man walked up to the old man and told him his dream. The old
man looked him up and down and said "I have a suggestion that is sure to
help."

"Tell me, tell me," said the young man.

"Tie the bottom of your holster lower onto your leg."

"Will that make me a better gunfighter?"

"Definitely," said the old man. The young guy did what he was told and
drew his gun and shot the bow tie off he piano player.

"Wow, that really helped. Do you have any more suggestions?"

"Yeah, if you cut a notch in the top of your holster where the hammer
hits, the gun will come out smoother."

"Will that make me a better gunfighter?"

"It sure will," said the old man.

The young guy did what he was told and drew his gun and shot a cufflink
off the piano player. "This is really helping me. Is there anything else
you can share with me?"

"One more thing," said the old man. "Get that can of axle grease over
there in the corner and rub it all over your gun."

The young fellow didn't hesitate but started putting the grease on the
gun.

"No, the whole gun, handle and everything." said the old man.

"Will that make me a better gunfighter?"

"No," said the old man, "But when Wyatt Earp gets done playing that
piano he's going to shove that gun up your ass, and it won't hurt as
much."

Feel Free to add more jokes!

Democracy is worth dying for, because it's the most deeply honorable form of government ever devised by man.-Ronald Reagan
3 years 34 weeks ago, 9:26 PM

Larry Wagner

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Snake

Good jokes young man..

Any day above dirt is a good day!!! My New Motto: Where Do I Sign? (Oh yes I would)
3 years 34 weeks ago, 9:32 PM

Snake

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Yep Larry

Glad ya liked them. Also thanks for accepting my friend request on Facebook. I hate to run but I got college in the morning so I have to be off to bed so I can get up at 5 A.M. Take care and I will chat at ya tomorrow if your on gunslot.

Democracy is worth dying for, because it's the most deeply honorable form of government ever devised by man.-Ronald Reagan
3 years 34 weeks ago, 6:50 PM

Shug22

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Funny

jokes Snake. Thanks for sharing.

3 years 34 weeks ago, 6:54 PM

Snake

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Anytime Shug

.

Democracy is worth dying for, because it's the most deeply honorable form of government ever devised by man.-Ronald Reagan

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