Forums / Off Topic / Luxury Pirate Cruise - Long but entertaining

3 years 24 weeks ago, 8:53 AM

manu2014

manu2014's picture

Rank:
Lieutenant General
Points:
926
Join Date:
Feb 2009
Location:
Raleigh

L u x u r y C r u i s e L i n e s

Now Accepting Reservations! Additional cruise information available below:
To The Point Cruise Lines is excited to offer the ultimate adventure cruise along the pirate-infested coast of Somalia.
Ultimate Adventure Cruise Route Rates and Availability
Ship Name/Starting Price/Days/Availability
Sun Splendor/$5,200.00/5/Fully Booked
Grand Voyage/$6,150.00/7/Reservations Available
Horizons IV/$7,091.00/10/Reservations Available
Horizons III/$5,200.00/7/Fully Booked
Grand Voyage II/$6,300.00/7/Fully Booked
Grand Voyage III/$5,200.00/5/Reservations Available
Coastal Paradise/$5,200.00/7/Reservations Available
Coastal Paradise II/$8,200.00/10/Reservations Available
Peril Princess/$5,200.00/7/Fully Booked
Peril Princess II/$5,200.00/7/Reservations Available

We board our luxury cruise ships in Djibouti on the Gulf of Aden near the entrance to the Red Sea, and disembark in Mombasa Kenya, seven adrenaline-charged days later.
Reservations start at only $5,200 per-person (double occupancy, inside room) and $6,900 (verandah complete with bench rest).
You'll relax like never before! That's because you are welcome to bring your own arsenal with you. If you don't have your own weapons, you can rent them from our onboard Master Gunsmith.
Enjoy reloading parties every afternoon, with skeet and marksmanship competitions every night! But the best fun of all, of course, is...Pirate Target Practice!
The object of our cruise is to sail up and down the Somali Coast waiting to get hijacked by pirates!
Weapons selection/rentals:
Price/Description
Rent a full-auto, Scope-mounted AK-47 for only $12/day with 7.62 ball ammo at $12 per 100 rounds.
Rent a full auto M-16 for only $25/day with ammo attractively priced at $16 per 100 rounds of 5.56 armor-piercing.
Barrett M-107 50-cal sniper rifle; Hello nothing gets a pirate's attention like a 50 between the eyes - only $59/day with 25 Rounds of armor piercing ammo affordably priced at only $29.95.
Want to make a real impact ?
Rent an RPG for only $175/day with three fragmentation rounds included! A true favorite among pirates. Rent one today and show you care!

Customer Testimonials:
"Six attacks in 4 days were more than I expected. I bagged three pirates, my wife nailed two, and my 12-year old Grandson sank two boats with the mini-gun. This wonderful cruise was fun for the whole family"
-- Fred D., Cincinnati, OH

"Pirates 0, Passengers 32! Well worth the trip! I can't recommend it highly enough!"
-- Ben L., Bethesda, MD

BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE!
Twin mounted mini-guns are available for rental at only $450.00 per 30 seconds of sustained fire!

Additional Cruise Line Services

*Need a spotter? Our professional crew members can double as spotters for only $30/hour.
(Spotting scope included, but gratuities are not)
*Also included: Free complimentary night vision equipment – and throughout the night.
*Coffee, pastries and snacks are always available on the Main deck from 7pm until 6am.
*Our deluxe package comes complete with gourmet meals and all rooms offer a mini-bar.

OUR SATISFACTION GUARANTEE!
We guarantee you will experience at least two hijacking attempts by pirates or you'll receive an instant $1,000 refund upon arrival in Mombasa.
How can we make that guarantee?
We operate at 5 knots just beyond 12 nautical miles off the coast of Somalia, in international waters where pirates have no rights whatsoever. In fact, we make three passes through the area's most treacherous waters to ensure maximum visibility by Somali mother ships. We repeat this for five days, making three complete passes along the entire Somali Coast. At night, the boat is fully lit and bottle rockets are shot every five minutes, with loud disco music directionally beamed shore side to attract maximum attention.
ACT NOW!
Cabin space is limited so you need to respond quickly. Reserve your package Before May 31st and get a great bonus -100 rounds of free tracer ammo in the caliber of your choice! So sign up for The Ultimate Somali Coast Adventure Cruise now!
BUT THERE'S EVEN MORE!
Reserve Now -and be automatically entered to win a 5 minute time slot on the Captain's own Twin Browning 50 Caliber M2HB installation!
"I haven't had this much fun since flying choppers in 'Nam." Don't worry about getting shot by pirates... they never even got close to the ship. With the crap they shoot and their lousy aim...
"Come on board and bag your own clutch of genuine Somali pirates!"
-- Mike W., Savannah, GA

Rather than love, than money, than fame, give me truth. Thoreau
3 years 24 weeks ago, 9:17 AM

Larry Wagner

Larry Wagner's picture

Rank:
Lieutenant General
Points:
1859
Join Date:
Nov 2009
Location:
Arizona, United States
Yea Man

Where do I sign

Any day above dirt is a good day!!! My New Motto: Where Do I Sign? (Oh yes I would)
3 years 24 weeks ago, 9:20 AM

HampsterW

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Rank:
Secretary of State
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7723
Join Date:
Jan 2010
Location:
Cottonwood Heights, Utah, United States
This is great, I saw

a version of this with pictures but I can't remember where.

Change you can truly believe in comes from the barrel of a gun---------------------------------------------------------------------------------Ron Paul 2012----Vote the bastards out!---------------------------------
3 years 24 weeks ago, 9:23 AM

Larry Wagner

Larry Wagner's picture

Rank:
Lieutenant General
Points:
1859
Join Date:
Nov 2009
Location:
Arizona, United States
Well, 8:30 here

Gonna go get ready for the day. Have a good day Hamp, Be back Later.

Any day above dirt is a good day!!! My New Motto: Where Do I Sign? (Oh yes I would)
3 years 24 weeks ago, 9:29 AM

manu2014

manu2014's picture

Rank:
Lieutenant General
Points:
926
Join Date:
Feb 2009
Location:
Raleigh

Made a big pot of pork and sauerkraut that I've been eating off of. Might need a change today.

Rather than love, than money, than fame, give me truth. Thoreau
3 years 24 weeks ago, 9:42 AM

HampsterW

HampsterW's picture

Rank:
Secretary of State
Points:
7723
Join Date:
Jan 2010
Location:
Cottonwood Heights, Utah, United States
yeah manu, the

same thing every day gets old......Hmmmm, that could be said about a lot of things.....lol

Change you can truly believe in comes from the barrel of a gun---------------------------------------------------------------------------------Ron Paul 2012----Vote the bastards out!---------------------------------
3 years 24 weeks ago, 11:34 AM

HKBauer

HKBauer's picture

Rank:
Lieutenant General
Points:
1532
Join Date:
Jul 2010
Location:
United States
I wonder

Would they offer a gunslot group discount? LOL

3 years 24 weeks ago, 1:05 PM

manu2014

manu2014's picture

Rank:
Lieutenant General
Points:
926
Join Date:
Feb 2009
Location:
Raleigh
Burger and PBR

Really hit the spot. Cold and drizzly here today. The comfort food was nice.

Rather than love, than money, than fame, give me truth. Thoreau
3 years 23 weeks ago, 6:00 AM

dockit

dockit's picture

Rank:
Major General
Points:
472
Join Date:
Nov 2009
Location:
North battleford , saskatchewan, Canada

Would you get a discount if you bring your own guns?

I intend to live forever, or die trying. It Could Be that the Purpose of Your Life is Only to Serve as a Warning to Others. Join the Army, meet interesting people, kill them. All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand.
3 years 23 weeks ago, 9:45 AM

elgoo

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Rank:
Colonel
Points:
191
Join Date:
Aug 2010
Location:
Oregon, United States

Sort of, you dont have to rent the on-board equipment if you bring your own guns, but no full auto unless you rent.. *sigh

3 years 23 weeks ago, 5:14 PM

runawaygun762

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Rank:
Vice President
Points:
8929
Join Date:
Nov 2008
Location:
Richland, MO, United States

Twin mounted miniguns, firing for 30 seconds is about 3000 rounds of 7.62 ammo for 450 bucks. If only...

"I have always been a soldier. I have known no other life. The calling of arms, I have followed from boyhood. I have never sought another." From The Virtues of War, by Steven Pressfield.
3 years 23 weeks ago, 5:20 PM

Reaper308

Reaper308's picture


Rank:
Secretary of Defense
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6226
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Jun 2008
Location:
Airstrip One, Oceania
runaway

wouldn't it be more? I thought they had 5k-6k RPM each. So that would either be 5k or 6k rounds for 30 sec with duelies

"Proelium Comminus Auctoritate" "Sometimes the light at the end of the tunnel is a muzzle flash."
3 years 23 weeks ago, 5:22 PM

runawaygun762

runawaygun762's picture

Rank:
Vice President
Points:
8929
Join Date:
Nov 2008
Location:
Richland, MO, United States

the M134 "minigun" is normally 3k/min. Since it's all electrically driven, I don't see why they couldn't adjust the rate of fire pretty easily, though

"I have always been a soldier. I have known no other life. The calling of arms, I have followed from boyhood. I have never sought another." From The Virtues of War, by Steven Pressfield.

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