An undisclosed source has leaked an unverified report, that a major US city Mayor has employed a scientific research panel [borrowed from the panel of "scientsts" who used consensus rather than the scientific method, to support Al Gore's thesis of Global Warming]. The Mayor asked the panel to reach a consensus on a serious issue of violent crime that has recently plagued his city. The panel discussed the matter, reached an immediate consensus and reported back to the Mayor.[ This eminent group included PhD and DSc level professionals in the fields of Agronomy, Icthiology, Botony, Zoology, Volcanology, Phrenology and Physiognomy, however, no members specialized in Criminology, Sociology or Psychiatry/Psychology].
The panel stated that based upon statistical projections, from recent and previous occurrences, EACH of the world's subway systems will sustain thousands of criminally induced deaths, per year.
It has been reported that Mr Big City Mayor, has requested that the US SecSTATE secure a UN invitation for him to appear, in order to demonstrate the magnitude of the problem. [A delay is occuring, because the SecSTATE is being held, incommunicado by an undisclosed organization with ties to middle eastern terrorists, led by the infamous Ben Ghazi].
The Mayor plans to propose a ban on all subway systems, in all member countries. His irrefutable, geometric logic includes this final statement: "After all, we have agreed to ban guns--so how can we fail to ban subways!!??"
"Laugh so hard, that even 'Sorrow' smiles at you. Live life so well, that even 'Death' loves to see you alive". (author unknown) "....would someone please show this poor asshole the way out of town?"....Avram Belinsky, the "Frisco Kid".
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