A young farm couple, Homer and Darlene, got married and just
> couldn't seem to get enough lovin'. In the morning, before Homer left
> the house for the fields, they made love. When Homer came back from
> the fields, they made love. And again at bedtime, they made love.
> The problem was their nooner: it took Homer a half hour to
> travel home and another half hour to return to the fields and he just
> wasn't getting enough work done. Finally Homer asked the town doctor
> what to do.
> "Homer," said the doctor, "just take your rifle out to the
> field with you and when you're in the mood, fire off a shot into the
> air. That will be Darlene's signal to come out to you. Then you won't
> lose any field time."
> They tried Doc's advice and it worked well for a while until
> one day, when Homer came back to the doctor's office.
> "What's wrong?" asked the Doc.. "Didn't my idea work?"
> "Oh, it worked real good," said Homer.
> "Whenever I was in the mood, I fired off a shot like you said
> and Darlene'd come runnin'. We'd find a secluded place, make love, and
> then she'd go back home agin."
> "Good, Homer. So what's the problem?" asked the Doc.
> "Ah mighta trained her too good.
> I ain't seen her since huntin' season started."
“If ever time should come,when vain and aspiring men shall possess the highest seats in government, our country will stand in need of it's experienced Patriots to prevent it's ruin."Samuel Adams