Forums / Strategies, Tactics & Training / Old, But worth posting again.

5 years 4 days ago, 9:22 AM

ebbots

ebbots's picture

Rank:
Lieutenant Colonel
Points:
64
Join Date:
Jul 2009
Location:
The FREE State of, Arizona, United States

AN ACTUAL CRAIG'S LIST PERSONALS AD

To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before last.

Date: 2009-05-27, 1 :43 a.m. E.S.T.

I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend, threatening our lives. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important message..

First, I'd like to apologize for your embarrassment; I didn't expect you to actually crap in your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket.. The evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason.. My girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber Model 1911 .45 ACP pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder holster for it that very evening. Obviously you agree that it is a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head ... isn't it?!

I know it probably wasn't fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with that brown sludge in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse walking bare-footed since I made you leave your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. [That prevented you from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us again].

After I called your mother or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, I explained the entire episode of what you'd done. Then I went and filled up my gas tank as well as those of four other people in the gas station, -- on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 150 gallons and was extremely grateful!

I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all the cash in your wallet. [That made his day!]

I then threw your wallet into the big pink "pimp mobile" that was parked at the curb ... after I broke the windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver's side of the car.

Later, I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell phone. Ma Bell just now shut down the line, although I only used the phone for a little over a day now, so what 's going on with that? Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening phone calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI, while mentioning President Obama as my possible target.

The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while he traced your number etc.).

;In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you ... but I feel this type of retribution is a far more appropriate punishment for your threatened crime. I wish you well as you try to sort through some of these rather immediate pressing issues, and can only hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider, the career path you've chosen to pursue in life. Remember, next time you might not be so lucky.Have a good day!

Thoughtfully yours,

Alex

5 years 4 days ago, 9:25 AM

runawaygun762

runawaygun762's picture

Rank:
Vice President
Points:
8929
Join Date:
Nov 2008
Location:
Richland, MO, United States
This is bullcrap

It's already been shown to be a fake.

"I have always been a soldier. I have known no other life. The calling of arms, I have followed from boyhood. I have never sought another." From The Virtues of War, by Steven Pressfield.
5 years 4 days ago, 9:30 AM

Reaper308

Reaper308's picture


Rank:
Secretary of Defense
Points:
6226
Join Date:
Jun 2008
Location:
Airstrip One, Oceania
funny

thing is, that it's slightly different each time I see it

"Proelium Comminus Auctoritate" "Sometimes the light at the end of the tunnel is a muzzle flash."
5 years 4 days ago, 9:33 AM

daisycutter

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Rank:
General
Points:
4943
Join Date:
Jul 2009
Location:
Arkansas

directly to the point in his own inimical way :<)

iyaoyas
5 years 4 days ago, 9:36 AM

runawaygun762

runawaygun762's picture

Rank:
Vice President
Points:
8929
Join Date:
Nov 2008
Location:
Richland, MO, United States
inimical?

No, daisy, I like women. I'm not inimical.

"I have always been a soldier. I have known no other life. The calling of arms, I have followed from boyhood. I have never sought another." From The Virtues of War, by Steven Pressfield.
5 years 4 days ago, 9:41 AM

Nitris

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Rank:
Lieutenant General
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1913
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Nov 2008
Location:

Nothing to do with women, Nimrod...........that means a person regarded as silly, foolish, or stupid.

Ron Paul 2012 III
5 years 4 days ago, 9:47 AM

runawaygun762

runawaygun762's picture

Rank:
Vice President
Points:
8929
Join Date:
Nov 2008
Location:
Richland, MO, United States

Aww, you guys really think that highly of me? I'm touched. But I'm not touched in nearly as many dirty, disgusting ways as your dog is going to be later.

"I have always been a soldier. I have known no other life. The calling of arms, I have followed from boyhood. I have never sought another." From The Virtues of War, by Steven Pressfield.
5 years 4 days ago, 9:53 AM

daisycutter

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Rank:
General
Points:
4943
Join Date:
Jul 2009
Location:
Arkansas

on this site. They fail to appreciate your sensitivity. I know deep inside you are a warm and caring person who would do no harm to your fellow man.
In other words, you ain't no asshole.

iyaoyas
5 years 4 days ago, 9:58 AM

greg az

greg az's picture

Rank:
Secretary of Homeland Security
Points:
5873
Join Date:
Oct 2009
Location:
New York, NY, Brunei Darussalam

You all have me laughing already.. and i think i have the sat dish pointed in the right direction (you were right Cutter) so now i can join in the fun..

ahh... im hoping thats not gona get me arested or nothing.. by the way i hadn't seen the craigs list post before, and sorta disapointed, any of us could have done better.. not only over done that immediatly stretched credability, but everyone knows the cell phone towers would have given the "hero" away to any authoritys..

a man has to hold his word, hold his beliefs, and hold a good sight picture.
5 years 4 days ago, 9:59 AM

daisycutter

daisycutter's picture

Rank:
General
Points:
4943
Join Date:
Jul 2009
Location:
Arkansas

~

iyaoyas
5 years 4 days ago, 10:09 AM

greg az

greg az's picture

Rank:
Secretary of Homeland Security
Points:
5873
Join Date:
Oct 2009
Location:
New York, NY, Brunei Darussalam

And brothers have i got mud.. only bout 10 trucks in our comunity, and we have 3 of them on our property.. sorta feel like a used car dealer.. the trucks are stuck of course.. The odd thing is we heard each of them getting stuck last night, but it was late so no one came to our door.. Nice they walked home and didn't bother us, but will be even better when thier gone.. good thing ive got a couple of chains... got a feeling...

a man has to hold his word, hold his beliefs, and hold a good sight picture.
5 years 4 days ago, 10:11 AM

daisycutter

daisycutter's picture

Rank:
General
Points:
4943
Join Date:
Jul 2009
Location:
Arkansas

~

iyaoyas
5 years 4 days ago, 10:16 AM

Anonymous

is to put tire chains on.and not them cidiot cable chains either.if chains work on logging equipment then why not?I ran chains on a 2 wheel drive toyota pickup i had.i could go almost everywhere my buddies could in their 4x4's.

5 years 4 days ago, 10:16 AM

Anonymous

if you do have a 4x4

put the chains on the front!

5 years 4 days ago, 10:20 AM

Anonymous

redneck tire chains

if,and i say if you have wheels with holes or slots you can lace thick rope around the tire and thru the holes but make sure that the rope wont hit anything such as the brakes.i have done this before and even though it aint tire chains it worked and got me out of a stuck situation.

5 years 4 days ago, 10:38 AM

greg az

greg az's picture

Rank:
Secretary of Homeland Security
Points:
5873
Join Date:
Oct 2009
Location:
New York, NY, Brunei Darussalam

No 4X4 greasy, wish the F250 was but ive got enough ground clearance and limited slip, so i can get thru most anything. Ive heard the same thing about chaining the front of 4X4. Think the only "chain" stuff that will be going on is me breaking out mine to pull these lops out..

a man has to hold his word, hold his beliefs, and hold a good sight picture.
5 years 4 days ago, 10:42 AM

runawaygun762

runawaygun762's picture

Rank:
Vice President
Points:
8929
Join Date:
Nov 2008
Location:
Richland, MO, United States
Hah hah, 2WD truck

Mine is 4x4, but now I've moved into town where it's not needed. It's almost sad to me that I lived out in mesquite and jackrabbit country, where a truck would have been a good thing to have, but I had to wait to buy a truck because I lived far enough out that gas would have killed me.

"I have always been a soldier. I have known no other life. The calling of arms, I have followed from boyhood. I have never sought another." From The Virtues of War, by Steven Pressfield.

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