Forums / Off Topic / The Parrot

6 years 9 weeks ago, 4:34 PM

samD

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The Parrot

A guy is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch.
It doesn't have any feet or legs. The guy says aloud, 'Jeesh, I
wonder what happened to this parrot?'
The parrot says, 'I was born this way. I'm a defective parrot.'
'Holy crap,' the guy replies. 'You actually understood and answered me!'
'I got every word,' says the parrot. 'I happen to be a highly intelligent
thoroughly educated bird.'
'Oh yeah?' the guy asks, 'Then answer this -- how do you
hang onto your perch without any feet?'
'Well,' the parrot says, 'this is very embarrassing but since
you asked, I wrap my weenie around this wooden bar like a little hook. You can't see it
because of my feathers.'
'Wow,' says the guy. 'You really can understand and speak
English can't you?'
'Actually, I speak both Spanish and English and I can converse
with reasonable competence on almost any topic: politics, religion, sports, physics,
philosophy.
I'm especially good at ornithology. You really ought to buy me. I'd be a great companion.'
The guy looks at the $200.00 price tag. 'Sorry, but I just can't afford that.'
'Pssssssst,' says the parrot, 'I'm defective, so the truth is, nobody wants me
cause I don't have any feet. You can probably get me for $20; just make an offer!'
The guy offers $20 and walks out with the parrot.
Weeks go by. The parrot is sensational. He has a great sense of humor, he's
interesting, he's a great pal, he understands everything, he sympathizes, and
he's insightful. The guy is delighted.
One day the guy comes home from work and the parrot goes,
'Psssssssssssst,' and motions him over with one wing. 'I don't know if I should
tell you this or not, but it's about your wife and the UPS man..'
'What are you talking about?' asks the guy.
'When the UPS man delivered a package today, your wife greeted
him at the door in a sheer black nightie.'
'WHAT???' the guy asks incredulously. 'THEN what happened?'
'Well, then the UPS man came into the house and lifted up her
nightie and began petting her all over,' reported the parrot.
'NO!' he exclaims... 'And she let him?'
'Yes. Then he continued taking off the nightie, got down on his
knees and began to kiss her all over.....'
Then the frantic guy demands, 'THEN WHAT HAPPENED?'
'Damned if I know... I got a hard-on and fell off my perch!'

6 years 9 weeks ago, 4:36 PM

Ebear

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lol i get it

How many is a Brazilian!!!...olololololol

...check... G-AZ
6 years 9 weeks ago, 4:48 PM

Ebear

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lol Marten

Jeramiah was a Bullfrog

...check... G-AZ
6 years 9 weeks ago, 1:38 AM

LLE

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mouse, when it spins??

Too old to fight, Too old to run, guess that's why I carry a gun! "would someone show this asshole the way out of town".[Rabbi Avram Belinski-aka "The Frisco Kid"]
6 years 9 weeks ago, 9:10 AM

samD

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President
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LLE

is this a martenism? ????

6 years 9 weeks ago, 4:26 AM

phoenix37

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LOL

A good laugh is a good thing.
Thanks.

I'll sign later. Right now we're getting acquainted.
6 years 9 weeks ago, 9:39 AM

Ravishing Ric

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Funny....

Letting go of a good laugh is good for all

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