Forums / Political & Legal / Political Science for Dummies

5 years 31 weeks ago, 10:51 AM

samD

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Location:
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Political Science for Dummies

DEMOCRAT

You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none..
You feel guilty for being successful. You push for higher taxes so the government can provide cows for everyone.

REPUBLICAN

You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
So what?

SOCIALIST

You have two cows.
The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.

COMMUNIST

You have two cows.
The government seizes both and provides you with milk.
You wait in line for hours to get 2 Qts.
It is expensive and sour..

CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE

You have two cows.
You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.

BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE

You have two cows.
Under the new farm program the government pays you to shoot one, milk the other, and then pours the milk down the drain.

AMERICAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one.
You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when one cow drops dead. You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have downsized and are reducing expenses.
Your stock goes up.

FRENCH CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.
You go to lunch and drink wine.
Life is good.

JAPANESE CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains.
Most are at the top of their class at cow school.

GERMAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour.
Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.

ITALIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows but you don't know where they are.
You break for lunch.
Life is good.

RUSSIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You have some vodka.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You have some more vodka.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really have.

TALIBAN CORPORATION

You have all the cows in Afghanistan, which are two.
You don't milk them because you cannot touch any creature's private parts.
You get a $40 million grant from the US government to find alternatives to milk production but use the money to buy weapons.

IRAQI CORPORATION

You have two cows.
They go into hiding.
They send radio tapes of their mooing.

POLISH CORPORATION

You have two bulls.
Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk them.

BELGIAN CORPORATION

You have one cow.
The cow is schizophrenic.
Sometimes the cow thinks he's French, other times he's Flemish.
The Flemish cow won't share with the French cow.
The French cow wants control of the Flemish cow's milk.
The cow asks permission to be cut in half.
The cow dies happy.

FLORIDA CORPORATION

You have a black cow and a brown cow.
Everyone votes for the best looking one.
Some of the people who actually like the brown one best accidentally vote for the black one.
Some people vote for both.
Some people vote for neither.
Some people can't figure out how to vote at all.
Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which one you think is the best-looking cow.

CALIFORNIA CORPORATION

You have millions of cows.
They make real California cheese.
Only five speak English.
Most are illegal.
Arnold likes the ones with the big udders.

5 years 31 weeks ago, 3:03 PM

LLE

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General
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Jul 2008
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United States
ABSOLUTELY>>>>>>>>>

PRICELESS!!!! LMAO

Too old to fight, Too old to run, guess that's why I carry a gun! "would someone show this asshole the way out of town".[Rabbi Avram Belinski-aka "The Frisco Kid"]
5 years 31 weeks ago, 5:25 PM

Anonymous

very funny!

nice work SamD!

5 years 31 weeks ago, 5:57 PM

BluesHarp

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Rank:
Lieutenant General
Points:
709
Join Date:
Nov 2008
Location:
Etowah, TN, United States

They stand in the field and go "Le meaux, le meaux".

Go ahead punk, Make My Day!
5 years 31 weeks ago, 6:45 PM

DEMO

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Lieutenant General
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Oct 2008
Location:
Hamburg, NY
French Canadian Cows

I was stationed up at a support detatchment near Edmunston New Brunswich, The women were huge and sounded like that but deep voice. Big fat smelly french chicks with deep voices say Le Miuex, cigaretts? Biere? you take me...Ahhhh, still brings up nightmares.

We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defence, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do
5 years 31 weeks ago, 7:04 PM

BluesHarp

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Rank:
Lieutenant General
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Location:
Etowah, TN, United States
Woah!

That is scary, man.

Go ahead punk, Make My Day!
5 years 31 weeks ago, 6:06 PM

samD

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Rank:
President
Points:
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Green Valley, Free State of Arizona, United States
LOL

Very funny!

5 years 31 weeks ago, 8:41 PM

jack010203

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Rank:
Colonel
Points:
134
Join Date:
Nov 2008

"Most are at the top of their class at cow school"...lol

"The beauty of the second amendment is that it will not be needed until they try to take it." -Thomas Jefferson
5 years 31 weeks ago, 12:04 AM

Irishguy066

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Major
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Nov 2008
Location:
Avenel, New Jersey, United States
Priceless

Absolutely Priceless samD.. reading this is definitely the highlight of my day. Of course that isn't exactly saying all that much seeing how the usual highlight is watching dust storms pick up.. but what can ya do lol. Really top notch tho :)

"Rather be judged by 12 than carried by 6"

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