Forums / Off Topic / Posted on Craigslist Personals in Savannah, GA

5 years 27 weeks ago, 8:14 PM

samD

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To the Guy Who Mugged Me Downtown (Downtown, Savannah)

I was the white guy with the black Burrberry jacket that you demanded I hand over shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I hope you somehow come across this message. I'd like to apologize!

I didn't expect you to crap your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket. Truth is, I was wearing the jacket for a reason that evening, and it wasn't that cold outside. You see, my girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber 1911 .45 ACP pistol for Christmas, and we had just picked up a shoulder holster for it that evening. Beautiful pistol, eh? It's a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head, isn't it?

I know it probably wasn't a great deal of fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with that brown sludge flopping about in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse since you also ended up leaving your shoes, cellphone, and wallet with me. I couldn't have you calling up a any of your buddies to come help you try to mug us again. I took the liberty of calling your mother, or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, and explaining to her your situation. I also bought myself some gas on your card. I gave your shoes to one of the homeless guys over by Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all of the cash in your wallet, then I threw the wallet itself in a dumpster.

I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell. They'll be on your bill in case you'd like to know which ones. Alltel recently shut down the line, and I've only had the phone for a little over a day now, so I don't know what's going on with that. I hope they haven't permanently cut off your service. I was about to make some threatening phone calls to the DA's office with it. Oh well.

So, about your pants. I know that I was a little rough on you when you did this whole attempted mugging thing, so I'd like to make it up to you. I'm sure you've already washed your pants, so I'd like to help you out. I'd like to reimburse you for the detergent you used on the pants. What brand did you use, and was it liquid or powder? I'd also like to apologize for not killing you and instead making you walk back home humiliated. I'm hoping that you'll reconsider your choice of path in life. Next time you might not be so lucky. If you read this message, email me and we'll do lunch and laundry. Peace!

- Alex
Laughed my ass off, samD

5 years 27 weeks ago, 9:43 PM

LLE

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and dismissed it as a fabrication. Can anyone guess why??

Too old to fight, Too old to run, guess that's why I carry a gun! "would someone show this asshole the way out of town".[Rabbi Avram Belinski-aka "The Frisco Kid"]
5 years 27 weeks ago, 9:47 PM

Anonymous

because

the jacket was taken before the pistol was drawn!

5 years 27 weeks ago, 9:53 PM

fordvg

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Shows what happens we to heavy a bullet.

"WAR IS A RACKET, I spent most of my time being a high-class muscle-man for Big Business, for Wall Street, and for the Bankers." Major-General Smedley Darlington Butler USMC Ret. 2 time Medal of Honor winner.
5 years 27 weeks ago, 9:56 PM

LLE

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thet could have been just a poor way of describing "what happened". there is something much more basically wrong with the email content.

Too old to fight, Too old to run, guess that's why I carry a gun! "would someone show this asshole the way out of town".[Rabbi Avram Belinski-aka "The Frisco Kid"]
5 years 27 weeks ago, 9:58 PM

Anonymous

ah i know

"threw the wallet itself in a dumpster"!

5 years 27 weeks ago, 10:03 PM

LLE

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think about if that happened to you, would you do the same thing the "writer" did??

Too old to fight, Too old to run, guess that's why I carry a gun! "would someone show this asshole the way out of town".[Rabbi Avram Belinski-aka "The Frisco Kid"]
5 years 27 weeks ago, 10:06 PM

Anonymous

ok

i would like to think i would have the presence of mind at the time to do all that stuff to the guy but i wouldnt post an add with my email address which are easily traceable for someone who knows how!

5 years 27 weeks ago, 10:34 PM

LLE

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BINGO!!......

You got it. Also, if you were a thoroughly law abiding citizen [which I know you are] you would go down to the police station, tell your story, and turn in all of his property, which probably includes several different forms of ID, including the credit cards, and the cell phone. That way, a criminal could be removed from the Savannah, GA. metropolitan area, and tried and convicted, etc.

Too old to fight, Too old to run, guess that's why I carry a gun! "would someone show this asshole the way out of town".[Rabbi Avram Belinski-aka "The Frisco Kid"]
5 years 27 weeks ago, 10:36 PM

Anonymous

since i am sitting here refinishing a stock so i aint paying alot of attention

5 years 27 weeks ago, 10:43 PM

LLE

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the emailer was engaging in what I call "mental masturbation", by sharing such a bullshit story with the public; but without thinking about the "holes" in the story, he looks real silly.

Too old to fight, Too old to run, guess that's why I carry a gun! "would someone show this asshole the way out of town".[Rabbi Avram Belinski-aka "The Frisco Kid"]
5 years 27 weeks ago, 11:05 PM

ssrs10

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LLE

I wondered the same thing LLE, but it was still amusing.

It's 106 miles to Chicago, we got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark, and we're wearing sunglasses
5 years 27 weeks ago, 11:18 PM

LLE

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It is a fantasy that many of us might probably want to make happen, but would not be a good idea, under the circumstances.

Can you imagine the headlines, a short time after the email?

"Savannah Man Severly Beaten and Robbed by Armed Intruders"

Too old to fight, Too old to run, guess that's why I carry a gun! "would someone show this asshole the way out of town".[Rabbi Avram Belinski-aka "The Frisco Kid"]
5 years 27 weeks ago, 11:23 PM

ssrs10

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LLE

No doubt. After all if this story were true and he had done what he claims he did do, he should be tried as well. After all thievery is thievery no matter how you attempt to justify it.

It's 106 miles to Chicago, we got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark, and we're wearing sunglasses
5 years 27 weeks ago, 11:51 PM

LLE

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but the LEO's might look the other way, if you told them you just wanted to make sure you had the ID, and then turn the stuff in.

Too old to fight, Too old to run, guess that's why I carry a gun! "would someone show this asshole the way out of town".[Rabbi Avram Belinski-aka "The Frisco Kid"]
5 years 27 weeks ago, 11:58 PM

undeniable

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About a third of the way through I was thinking, Well is mugging a mugger right? No, you just stooped to his level. Call the Police and hold him for them to come pick up. Also, I would have a hard time wearing a new untested holster. Especially with a friend who may end up relying on me.

"The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist." Kevin Spacey: (The Usual Suspects)
5 years 27 weeks ago, 12:12 AM

LLE

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and picked the holster very carefully, but his judgment otherwise was not great, IMO. The only reason I might not have called the Police, would have been concern that the dispatcher did not bother to tell the cars that you were holding the perp with a 45acp, and please do not fire. Most of the time, after arriving, they would tell you to put the gun down, move away, and proceed to your knees with your hands behind your neck. But my philosophy is "hope for the best, but plan for the worst."

Too old to fight, Too old to run, guess that's why I carry a gun! "would someone show this asshole the way out of town".[Rabbi Avram Belinski-aka "The Frisco Kid"]
5 years 27 weeks ago, 12:23 AM

runawaygun762

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I agree with the BS assessment. I doubt it occurred, but as for the morality of mugging the mugger, sure, why not? Aside from the fact that our nation boasts half of the world's population of lawyers and you may find yourself in deep legal trouble for fighting fire with fire, it's okay to do. The legal system is a joke, and while I don't necessarily condone playing vigilante by going out looking for badguys, if the opportunity like this scenario presented itself, I see nothing wrong with a bit of street justice. Almost any time one is justified in presenting deadly force, deadly force itself is also justified, so I probably would have shot the guy rather than allow him to remain in my immediate vicinity long enough to remove clothing and personal effects, but hey, that's my take.

"I have always been a soldier. I have known no other life. The calling of arms, I have followed from boyhood. I have never sought another." From The Virtues of War, by Steven Pressfield.
5 years 27 weeks ago, 12:39 AM

undeniable

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You said, "....while I don't necessarily condone playing vigilante by going out looking for badguys...." While this word has come to mean this, probably because of Hollywood films. I just think this word gets a bad rap, a true vigilante is one who looks out for the well being of their community in ways such as a neighborhood watch or something like that. This is just one of those things that bug me, the misuse of this word. To be a vigilante is really a good thing. It's not someone who looks for a criminal just to look for them, but looks for them in a defensive manner such as being on watch. Not as a hunter, but as concerned citizen.

vigilante

"member of a vigilance committee," 1856, Amer.Eng., from Sp. vigilante, lit. "watchman," from L. vigilantem (see vigilance). Vigilant man in same sense is attested from 1824 in a Missouri context. Vigilance committees kept informal rough order on the frontier or in other places where official authority was imperfect.

I got this from Dictionary.com.

"The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist." Kevin Spacey: (The Usual Suspects)
5 years 27 weeks ago, 12:46 AM

runawaygun762

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Okay.

I use words in the context that most people understand them. Just as I use the term "assault rifle" when talking about any military-style weapon, because that's what people understand. I am aware that Hitler is most often credited with coining the term when he saw the STG 44, and most gun guys cringe, but I don't care to mince words. It is no pissing contest, I am quite sure you are 100% correct, but I don't really feel like looking in my THESARUS (emphasis added for LLE's benefit) for a more appropriate term. How about "superhero"?

"I have always been a soldier. I have known no other life. The calling of arms, I have followed from boyhood. I have never sought another." From The Virtues of War, by Steven Pressfield.
5 years 27 weeks ago, 12:53 AM

undeniable

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Superhero works.

I agree with the "assault rifle" term not being a negative as well. It is what it is. Dictionary.com and Thesarus.com are the same site, so if you want to really get creative it can be done in a moderate hurry. Is moderate hurry a good phrase? I don't know, it sort of makes sense to me but that doesn't mean it will to anybody else.

"The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist." Kevin Spacey: (The Usual Suspects)
5 years 27 weeks ago, 1:35 AM

Dr.angusmd21

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my daughter asked

me what are morals and ethics so i asked her the steal a loaf of bread to feed your family question. she said it was ok. so i rephrased it to include one of the many guns we have and to rob some one to get money to eat. this was wrong she said. i shall have to ask her the mug a mugger question. and if it is ok to do so where do you draw the line? kill a killer? many states have the death penalty but we cant mug a mugger? interesting question brought up by a fake story

2850 fps
5 years 27 weeks ago, 11:22 AM

samD

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thought and speculation. I can smell the brains burning. Of course it isn't true, but who out there has never run this fun scenario through their own mind? Oh what fun it would of or could have been. Nice exercise, y'all.

5 years 27 weeks ago, 11:38 AM

clintlebo

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y'all

Did I just read tht right? A californian using the word y'all?

The 8th wonder of the world. It seems Arizona is wearing off on you buddy.
next thing we know, you'l be using sensyouus and you'ens ;)

clint

"Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us." (Calvin & Hobbes)
5 years 27 weeks ago, 11:51 AM

samD

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youseguys!

5 years 27 weeks ago, 11:52 AM

Anonymous

sinceyouwas!

mentioning it,i used it!

5 years 27 weeks ago, 11:57 AM

LLE

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a function of what geographical location a person happens to be in.

AllaY'all ought to know that.

{Lecture concluded].

Too old to fight, Too old to run, guess that's why I carry a gun! "would someone show this asshole the way out of town".[Rabbi Avram Belinski-aka "The Frisco Kid"]
5 years 27 weeks ago, 11:58 AM

samD

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Thank you Dr Syntac

lol

5 years 27 weeks ago, 12:05 PM

LLE

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Velcro.

Too old to fight, Too old to run, guess that's why I carry a gun! "would someone show this asshole the way out of town".[Rabbi Avram Belinski-aka "The Frisco Kid"]

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