Forums / Off Topic / Pres samD's remedy for Constipation

5 years 34 weeks ago, 9:02 AM

samD

samD's picture

Rank:
President
Points:
15597
Join Date:
Aug 2008
Location:
Green Valley, Free State of Arizona, United States

If you are bothered by occasional or frequent constipation, look in the mirror and repeat the following phrase three times in succession when symptoms occur:

"My financial and personal well being are totally in the hands of Barack Obama, Joe Biden, Harry Reid, Nancy Pelosi, Tim Geithner, Rahm Emmanual, Barney Frank, Chris Dodd, and Al Gore"

If that doesn't scare the crap out of you, then you are probably destined to be backed up for the rest of your life.

There is no need to thank me for this advice, I'm just doing a public service.

5 years 34 weeks ago, 9:29 AM

clintlebo

clintlebo's picture


Rank:
General
Points:
2309
Join Date:
Aug 2008
Location:
land, of confusion, United States
dont forget

george soros
talk about name your price auto insurance (progressive).

clint

"Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us." (Calvin & Hobbes)
5 years 34 weeks ago, 9:33 AM

scudrunnernrh

scudrunnernrh's picture

Rank:
Major General
Points:
626
Join Date:
Dec 2008
Location:
Texas

SAMD! just read the phrase once and i nearly left a trail of shit on the way to the pot! instant faucetass. but what can you do about the side effect of jitters and anxiety?

We're not going to just shoot the sons-of-bitches, we're going to rip out their living guts and use them to grease the treads of our tanks. Gen. George S. Patton
5 years 34 weeks ago, 9:34 AM

clintlebo

clintlebo's picture


Rank:
General
Points:
2309
Join Date:
Aug 2008
Location:
land, of confusion, United States
faucet ass

hahahahahahahaha

now thats funny

clint

"Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us." (Calvin & Hobbes)
5 years 34 weeks ago, 9:43 AM

scudrunnernrh

scudrunnernrh's picture

Rank:
Major General
Points:
626
Join Date:
Dec 2008
Location:
Texas
and dont forget that

and dont forget that Hilarious rodemintheass Cliton is in the mix somewhere too. last i heard she was trying to convince those who wrap their wemen up in head to toe black wool in 100+ degree weather to be peacefull. like they are even going to listen to her ass

We're not going to just shoot the sons-of-bitches, we're going to rip out their living guts and use them to grease the treads of our tanks. Gen. George S. Patton
5 years 33 weeks ago, 9:38 PM

zx12rmike

zx12rmike's picture

Rank:
President Pro Temp
Points:
7870
Join Date:
Dec 2008
Location:
commiefornia, United States

Come On! I am not supposed to laugh and cry at the same time, rubber room time if anyone sees me!

"We cannot defend freedom abroad by deserting it at home" Thomas Jefferson
5 years 33 weeks ago, 7:52 AM

sparticus22286

sparticus22286's picture

Rank:
Lieutenant Colonel
Points:
81
Join Date:
Mar 2009

i started dripping when i hit "hands of Barack..." and then it was a dead sprint to the shitter where i let loose a stream of fire and furry for an hour. Thank god too, i've been backed up since 1/20/09.

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