Forums / Off Topic / RECTUM STRETCHER

2 years 26 weeks ago, 11:06 PM

samD

samD's picture

Rank:
President
Points:
15597
Join Date:
Aug 2008
Location:
Green Valley, Free State of Arizona, United States
RECTUM STRETCHER

While she was "flying" down the road yesterday, a woman passed over a

Bridge only to find a cop with a radar gun on the other side lying in wait.

The cop pulled her over, walked up to the car, with that classic patronizing smirk we all know and love, asked, "What's your hurry?"

To which she replied, "I'm late for work."

.
Oh yeah," said the cop, "what do you do?"

I'm a rectum stretcher," she responded.

The cop stammered, "A what? A rectum stretcher? And just what does a

Rectum stretcher do?"

"Well," she said, "I start by inserting one finger, then work my way up to

Two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in. I work from

Side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely

Stretch it, until it's about 6 feet wide."

"And just what the hell do you do with a 6 foot asshole ? " he asked.

"You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge..."

Traffic Ticket - $95.00
Court Costs - $45.00
Look on the Cop's Face? PRICELESS !!!

2 years 26 weeks ago, 11:20 PM

Saint J.M. Browning

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Rank:
General
Points:
3505
Join Date:
Feb 2011
Location:
The Colony, Texas, United States
Rectum stretcher

ROFL!

Oh boy, Sam, that one got me rolling. I don't think I'd ever try it though. Might work for a lady, I'd just get an butt-whoopin'.

"I don't think Hank done it this way" - Waylon
2 years 26 weeks ago, 5:22 AM

psmalone

psmalone's picture

Rank:
Colonel
Points:
149
Join Date:
May 2011
Location:
ohio, United States
Rectum stretcher

That was good!!! LMAO

2 years 26 weeks ago, 7:09 AM

Builtf0rdtough

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Rank:
Lieutenant General
Points:
903
Join Date:
Nov 2009
Location:
FL, United States

wow. thats a good' en lol got me laughin

"Socialism is the philosophy of failure, the creed of ignorance, and the gospel of envy"-Winston Churchill

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