Forums / Off Topic / Sex Talk

5 years 49 weeks ago, 10:20 AM

samD

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Sex Talk

1. When I was born, I was given a choice - A big dick or a good memory...I don't remember what I chose.
2. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.
3. A wife is a sex object. Every time you ask for sex, she objects.
4. Impotence: Nature's way of saying 'No hard feelings...'
5. There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men - 'don't' and 'stop', unless they are used together.
6. Panties: Not the best thing on earth, but next to the best thing on earth.
7. There are three stages of sex in a man's life:
Tri Weekly, Try Weekly, and Try Weakly.
8. Virginity can be cured.
9. Virginity is not dignity, its lack of opportunity.
10. Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
11. I tried phone sex once, but the holes in the dialer were too small.
12. Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy.
13. Q: What's an Australian kiss?
A: The same thing as a French kiss, only down under.
14. A couple just married were happy with the whole thing. He was happy with the Hole and she was happy with the Thing......
15. Q: What are the three biggest tragedies in a mans life?
A: Life sucks, job sucks, and the wife doesn't.
16. Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
A: Breasts don't have eyes.
17. Despite the old saying, 'Don't take your troubles to bed', many men still sleep with their wives!!
Send to the men who need a laugh and the women with a good sense of humor.

5 years 49 weeks ago, 10:24 AM

coldfront

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thats funny

thats funny

Confucious say: Go to bed itchy asshole, wake up stinky pinky
5 years 49 weeks ago, 12:46 PM

raffycanlas

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hahaha

good one!

I'm just another damn yankee with a loaded gun looking for some fun!
5 years 49 weeks ago, 2:04 PM

fordvg

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This is funny

Sam, thanks for this it is funny.

"WAR IS A RACKET, I spent most of my time being a high-class muscle-man for Big Business, for Wall Street, and for the Bankers." Major-General Smedley Darlington Butler USMC Ret. 2 time Medal of Honor winner.
5 years 49 weeks ago, 2:24 PM

Nitris

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Good one SamD

So true

Ron Paul 2012 III
5 years 49 weeks ago, 5:13 PM

LLE

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but #14 gets the drum roll and cymbal crash. LOL

Too old to fight, Too old to run, guess that's why I carry a gun! "would someone show this asshole the way out of town".[Rabbi Avram Belinski-aka "The Frisco Kid"]

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