Forums / Off Topic / Stimulus money

3 years 22 weeks ago, 9:24 AM

HampsterW

HampsterW's picture

Rank:
Secretary of State
Points:
7723
Join Date:
Jan 2010
Location:
Cottonwood Heights, Utah, United States
Stimulus money

Sometime this year, we taxpayers will again receive another 'Economic
Stimulus' payment.

This is indeed a very exciting program, and I'll explain it by
using a Q & A format:

Q. What is an 'Economic Stimulus' payment ?

A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.

Q.. Where will the government get this money ?

A. From taxpayers.

Q.. So the government is giving me back my own money ?

A. Only a smidgen of it.

Q. What is the purpose of this payment ?

A. The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a
high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.

Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China ?

A. Shut up.

Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the U.S. economy by
spending your stimulus check wisely:

* If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, the money will
go to China or Sri Lanka ..

* If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to the
Arabs.

* If you purchase a computer, it will go to India , Taiwan or
China ..

* If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico ,
Honduras and Guatemala ...

* If you buy an efficient car, it will go to Japan or Korea ..

* If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan ...

* If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, it will go
to management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.

Instead, keep the money in America by:

1) Spending it at yard sales, or

2) Going to ball games, or

3) Spending it on prostitutes, or

4) Beer or

5) Tattoos.

(These are the only American businesses still operating in the U.S. )

Conclusion:

Go to a ball game with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a yard sale and drink beer all day !

No need to thank me, I'm just glad I could be of help.

Change you can truly believe in comes from the barrel of a gun---------------------------------------------------------------------------------Ron Paul 2012----Vote the bastards out!---------------------------------
3 years 22 weeks ago, 9:28 AM

Larry Wagner

Larry Wagner's picture

Rank:
Lieutenant General
Points:
1859
Join Date:
Nov 2009
Location:
Arizona, United States
LMAO

Sad but true & funny.

Any day above dirt is a good day!!! My New Motto: Where Do I Sign? (Oh yes I would)
3 years 22 weeks ago, 9:31 AM

Vaquero

Vaquero's picture

Rank:
General of the Army
Points:
5482
Join Date:
Dec 2009
Location:
West Texas
Buy guns and ammo!

That always stimulates me!

The truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth!
3 years 22 weeks ago, 9:39 AM

Larry Wagner

Larry Wagner's picture

Rank:
Lieutenant General
Points:
1859
Join Date:
Nov 2009
Location:
Arizona, United States
I second that Vaq

Always a good idea.

Any day above dirt is a good day!!! My New Motto: Where Do I Sign? (Oh yes I would)
3 years 22 weeks ago, 9:41 AM

Larry Wagner

Larry Wagner's picture

Rank:
Lieutenant General
Points:
1859
Join Date:
Nov 2009
Location:
Arizona, United States
OOps

Sorry Vaq, see what I mean about those brain cell just dropping over?????

Any day above dirt is a good day!!! My New Motto: Where Do I Sign? (Oh yes I would)
3 years 22 weeks ago, 9:37 AM

manu2014

manu2014's picture

Rank:
Lieutenant General
Points:
926
Join Date:
Feb 2009
Location:
Raleigh
GUNS AND AMMO

Need to add guns and ammo to the list. Damn maybe not - mine was made in Croatia.

Rather than love, than money, than fame, give me truth. Thoreau
3 years 22 weeks ago, 9:56 AM

HKBauer

HKBauer's picture

Rank:
Lieutenant General
Points:
1532
Join Date:
Jul 2010
Location:
United States
Hamp

Hamp thanks for the laugh, i needed it this morning.

3 years 22 weeks ago, 6:26 PM

hillbilly77

hillbilly77's picture

Rank:
Lieutenant General
Points:
1085
Join Date:
Jan 2009
Location:
Newport, Wa
I am with Vaq on this.

I spent my last stimulas on a new gun and some ammo.

“If ever time should come,when vain and aspiring men shall possess the highest seats in government, our country will stand in need of it's experienced Patriots to prevent it's ruin."Samuel Adams

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