Forums / Off Topic / Story of a Cowboy

4 years 12 weeks ago, 1:13 PM

Shug22

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Story of a Cowboy

Story of a Cowboy

> A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture
> in Montana when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud
> of dust.
>
>
> The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes , RayBan sunglasses
> and YSL tie, leaned out the window and asked the cowboy, "If I tell you
> exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a
> calf?"
>>
> Bud looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully
> grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, Why not?"
>>
> The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it
> to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone , and surfs to a NASA page on the
> Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his
> location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area
> in an ultra-high-resolution photo.
>
> The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports
> it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany . Within seconds, he
> receives an E-Mail on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and
> the data stored. He then accesses an MS-SQL database through an ODBC
> connected Excel spreadsheet with an E-Mail on his
>> Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response.
>
>>
> Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech,
> miniaturized HP LaserJet printer, turns to the cowboy and says, "You have
> exactly 1,586 cows and calves."
>
>
> "That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says Bud.
>
>
> He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on with
> amusement as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.
>
> Then Bud says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your
> business is, will you give me back my calf?"
>
>
> The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"
>
>
>
> "You're a Congressman for the U.S. Government", says Bud.
>
>
> "Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"
>>
>
> "No guessing required." answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even
> though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already
knew, to a question I never asked. You used millions of dollars worth of
equipment trying to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know a
> thing about how working people make a living - or about cows, for that
> matter. This is a herd of sheep. ...
>

>
> Now give me back my dog."

4 years 12 weeks ago, 5:52 PM

CharlesW

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Hey Shug

That's a darn good story.

Now tell me how they built houses and rail road bridges without
spending thousands of dollars going to engineering school
How did they build rifles without thousands of dollars worth of
equipment.
Even the simple wagon wheel amazes me. Getting every spoke at the perfect angle
Those old guys were pretty smart

A little rebellion is good medicine for the government Thomas Jefferson
4 years 12 weeks ago, 3:56 PM

badgirlj36

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That's a great story

They Built house and rail road bridges and even build rifles with there strong hand's ,like a real Cowboy does and allways has done.

4 years 12 weeks ago, 4:27 PM

runawaygun762

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either had advanced education or went through a lot of trial and error. Or both. or lots of cheap, expendable meskin labor. it all comes back to cheap meskin labor.

WE DIDN'T LAND ON PLYMOUTH ROCK, PLYMOUTH ROCK LANDED ON US!!!

Wait. Nope. Wrong group of brown people.

"I have always been a soldier. I have known no other life. The calling of arms, I have followed from boyhood. I have never sought another." From The Virtues of War, by Steven Pressfield.
4 years 12 weeks ago, 5:59 PM

Shug22

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CW

Yeah that was a funny story. My Grandaddy was a West Texas ranch hand. They just did what they had to do.
Did you see the video I did yesterday about the new speed trap in Georgia? It's funny too.

4 years 12 weeks ago, 6:04 PM

Vaquero

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Evening CW

I have always been in awe of the accomplishments of our "uneducated" and "unenlightened" forefathers.

The truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth!
4 years 12 weeks ago, 6:14 PM

CharlesW

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I've built some stuff that they built but darn
the machinery it took to do it and they didn't
have it.
My hobby is woodworking. I have a complete
work shop but I have been attempting to
build some wagon wheels the way they did.
Man I just can't do it, even with 30 years
in machine shops.
God bless those old koots

A little rebellion is good medicine for the government Thomas Jefferson
4 years 12 weeks ago, 6:24 PM

Shug22

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CW and Vaquero

Ever try to make arrow heads? Now if you want to ever make arrow heads, you better want to real bad. Like to busted both of my hands until I decided I just didn't have what it took.

4 years 12 weeks ago, 6:32 PM

CharlesW

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Yes sir I've done it but I was living with
Cherokee Indians in Oklahoma.

You talk about some rough playing mean kids
but may be it was because my brother and I
were the only white boys there.
We were 10 and 12 years old, stayed with
Dads mother who was Cherokee.

A little rebellion is good medicine for the government Thomas Jefferson
4 years 12 weeks ago, 6:37 PM

Shug22

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Flint knapping

i think is what it's called and I ready about it. Reading and doing are two different things. Sure like arrow heads but couldn't make them. I understand my grandmother was Indian too but don't know anything about it.

4 years 12 weeks ago, 6:38 PM

Shug22

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with my bride. She is way too awesome for me! See ya'll later.

4 years 12 weeks ago, 6:32 PM

luckybychoice

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i saw an Apache

make an arrow head,flint napping, in about 15 minutes at 4 corners NM,damn good work.

i tried being reasonable,i didn't like it, NRA LIFE MEMBER,USMC VETERAN
4 years 12 weeks ago, 6:51 PM

Shug22

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LBC

Arrow heads, guns, bows, knives.... I think most men appreciate their beauty just cause!

4 years 12 weeks ago, 6:37 PM

CharlesW

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We had a lot of fun with those Indian boys.
I still have a BB in my upper arm from a
BB gun fight. Stand with legs spread and
see who could stick a knife closest to the
other guys bare foot.
Man the shit we did.

A little rebellion is good medicine for the government Thomas Jefferson
4 years 12 weeks ago, 6:43 PM

luckybychoice

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yeah CW

I lived a couple years on an Indian reservation in Sisseton SDAK,Whapitin Sioux,if you didn't stand up to them you were meat,some very good times though.

i tried being reasonable,i didn't like it, NRA LIFE MEMBER,USMC VETERAN
4 years 12 weeks ago, 6:57 PM

CharlesW

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He would probably beat the shit out of you
so you better be good if you play.
Arm wrestle laying on the ground with charcoal
where your hand will come down. Yeah I have
burn marks on my hands.

A little rebellion is good medicine for the government Thomas Jefferson
4 years 12 weeks ago, 7:05 PM

Shug22

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LBC

You like it better in MN or just moved to make a living?

4 years 12 weeks ago, 7:08 AM

luckybychoice

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shugg

i'm from all over,my job sends me across the states,i grew up in a lot of different states,i just don;t have a good enough truck to load my junk up and move.I'm waiting for Runawaygun to get back,hes got a 350 Ford,that'll do.

i tried being reasonable,i didn't like it, NRA LIFE MEMBER,USMC VETERAN
4 years 12 weeks ago, 6:13 PM

Shug22

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LBC

Thanks for your answer. I was just curious how you could end up in such a cold place. We have very dear friends who are from MN. And they talk funny. But they got to Texas as fast as they could! Thanks for sharing my friend.

4 years 12 weeks ago, 6:17 PM

ACE

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Hey Shug!!

How ya been???

“When firearms go, all goes. We need them every hour.”- George Washington
4 years 12 weeks ago, 6:21 PM

Shug22

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Ace!

Can you tell how much you have been missed and how much you are loved? All us old farts miss us some 100% girl named Ace!

4 years 12 weeks ago, 6:25 PM

ACE

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Well thank U Shug!!

Iv missed ya'll terribly. been traveling some big'ol bumpy roads here L8ly, but it seems Im past the worst of it. (I pray I am)

“When firearms go, all goes. We need them every hour.”- George Washington
4 years 12 weeks ago, 6:30 PM

Shug22

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I'll pray with you

and for you. Do lots of it; need lots of it. Take care and God Bless. Talk to you later.

4 years 12 weeks ago, 6:38 PM

CharlesW

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I just saw your name

A little rebellion is good medicine for the government Thomas Jefferson
4 years 12 weeks ago, 7:18 PM

Vaquero

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Later guys

The girls are getting hungry and I'm kinda that way myself.
Gimme two steps!

The truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth!
4 years 12 weeks ago, 7:19 PM

Shug22

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Later Tater

Enjoy.

4 years 12 weeks ago, 7:23 PM

CharlesW

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We got 4 inches over night

A little rebellion is good medicine for the government Thomas Jefferson
4 years 12 weeks ago, 7:26 PM

Shug22

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W

We got just enough to cover the ground and jack everything up because it was so cold all day long. I see you got 4". That would have been more fun.

4 years 12 weeks ago, 7:29 PM

CharlesW

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Snowed all night here

A little rebellion is good medicine for the government Thomas Jefferson
4 years 12 weeks ago, 4:28 PM

runawaygun762

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I don't think I've ever seen so many posts outside of you introducing yourself again. So you are a real person.

"I have always been a soldier. I have known no other life. The calling of arms, I have followed from boyhood. I have never sought another." From The Virtues of War, by Steven Pressfield.
4 years 12 weeks ago, 6:36 PM

badgirlj36

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runawaygun762

Thank you for pointing out my flaws, Since you are perfect,please do me the service of judging me and telling me everthing that's wrong with me.

4 years 12 weeks ago, 5:50 PM

Ishootdaily

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really?

this should be like a spoof of Anamaniacs...

No sir, he fell into that bullet... Never argue with a stupid person. They'll just drag you down to their level and beat you with experience!!
4 years 12 weeks ago, 6:12 AM

runawaygun762

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Relax, badgirl. I'm just tweaking your nipple a little. Untwist your panties. But since you asked; Your skin is too oily, your hairline is way too high, giving you an eighthead (You know, twice as big as a forehead?), you wear pants a size too small, giving you that not-cute "muffin top" look, your right boob droops a bit lower than your left boob, you have a bit of cottage cheese going on the backs of your thighs and you have kankles. Not a completely unattractive person, and if you lost a little weight you'd actually be pretty in that 1800s farm wife plain jane sorta way. Oh, and your voice is too nasally. You should think about getting that deviated septum fixed. It's called a septoplasty with inferior turbinate reduction. It does wonders. Then maybe a nose job. I love you.

"I have always been a soldier. I have known no other life. The calling of arms, I have followed from boyhood. I have never sought another." From The Virtues of War, by Steven Pressfield.
4 years 12 weeks ago, 7:04 AM

luckybychoice

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please provide

proof of saggy boob...

i tried being reasonable,i didn't like it, NRA LIFE MEMBER,USMC VETERAN
4 years 12 weeks ago, 7:29 AM

runawaygun762

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I would, LBC, but

I don't have access to a scanner to post the crayon stick drawing I made of badgirl. Speaking of crayon, is there an actual word used for trademarked product names that become common names? Like Kleenex and Q-Tips. Very few people actually say facial tissue or cotton swabs, even if they aren't talking about actual Kleenex or Q-Tips. I'm pretty sure crayon is the actual trade name used by Crayola, right?

Q: How many kids with ADD does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Hey, wanna go ride bikes?

Ooh, SQUIRREL!!!

"I have always been a soldier. I have known no other life. The calling of arms, I have followed from boyhood. I have never sought another." From The Virtues of War, by Steven Pressfield.
4 years 12 weeks ago, 4:19 PM

luckybychoice

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yes

its called"trademark infringement"

i tried being reasonable,i didn't like it, NRA LIFE MEMBER,USMC VETERAN
4 years 12 weeks ago, 7:38 AM

runawaygun762

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LBC, my Ford has seen

better days. He's got some problems, but he also has over 260k on the clock, and I'm pretty sure it's on the original set of injectors. I really want to get some bigger injectors, and I found the ones I want, but I'll have to get a larger turbo, a larger exhaust system, and dual HPOP. Of course, if I get that, I'm gonna have to get aftermarket head studs because of higher boost pressures.

God, this truck is gonna bleed me dry. I suppose I could just spend the 50 grand and buy a 2011 F350 dually, but I can't see having a truck payment that's literally higher than my mortgage payment. I really hope there's some contract work available in Afghanistan when i retire in the next five or six years.

Oh, and my wife has taken my truck out to play in the snow. It's cool to hear a chick refer to a truck as "A beast". It's not cool that I haven't even gotten to do that yet. Cuba blows goat cock. Just like ebear.

Wow, these fat burners and Rockstar are really kicking my ass.

"I have always been a soldier. I have known no other life. The calling of arms, I have followed from boyhood. I have never sought another." From The Virtues of War, by Steven Pressfield.
4 years 12 weeks ago, 1:43 PM

Ishootdaily

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You'll be ok, of course you could always go play Nut tag with the Tazer and a couple of not so interested Infidel haters!

No sir, he fell into that bullet... Never argue with a stupid person. They'll just drag you down to their level and beat you with experience!!
4 years 12 weeks ago, 2:12 PM

runawaygun762

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Yeah, Tazers.

I wish.

"I have always been a soldier. I have known no other life. The calling of arms, I have followed from boyhood. I have never sought another." From The Virtues of War, by Steven Pressfield.

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