Forums / Off Topic / The sweetness of married life

4 years 39 weeks ago, 2:29 PM

HampsterW

HampsterW's picture

Rank:
Secretary of State
Points:
7723
Join Date:
Jan 2010
Location:
Cottonwood Heights, Utah, United States

The newlyweds were only married two weeks, when the husband said to the wife, 'Honey I'm going to Hank's Tavern to have a beer, I'll be right back'.

'Where are you going, Coochy Coo?' asked the wife.

'I'm going to the bar, Pretty Face,' he answered. 'I'm going to have a beer...'

The wife said, 'You want a beer, my love?' She opened the door to the refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of beer, brands from 12 different countries: Germany , Holland , Japan , India , etc.

The husband didn't know what to do, and the only thing that he could think of saying was, 'Yes, Lollipop... But at the bar.... You know.......they have frozen glasses........ '

He didn't get to finish the sentence, because the wife interrupted him by saying, 'You want a frozen glass, Puppy Face?' She took a huge beer mug out of the freezer, so frozen that she was getting chills just holding it.

The husband, looking a bit pale, said, 'Yes, Tootsie Roll, but at the bar they have those hors d'oeuvres that are really delicious... I won't be long.. I'll be right back. I promise. OK?'

'You want hors d'oeuvres, Poochie Pooh?' She opened the oven and took out 5 dishes of different hors d'oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in blankets, mushroom caps, and little quiches.

'But my sweet honey.... At the bar... You know there's swearing, dirty words and all that...'

'You want dirty words, Cutie Pie? LISTEN UP, CHICKEN SHIT! SIT YOUR SORRY ASS DOWN, SHUT THE HELL UP, DRINK YOUR BEER IN YOUR FROZEN MUG AND EAT YOUR HORS D'OEUVRES RIGHT HERE BECAUSE YOU'RE FUCKIN' MARRIED NOW AND YOUR SORRY ASS IS SOO NOT GOING TO A DAMNED BAR! THAT SHIT IS OVER! GOT IT, DUMBASS?'

And they lived happily ever after.

Isn't that a sweet story?

MARRIED LIFE ...............
MAKES MY EYES TEAR UP!!!

Change you can truly believe in comes from the barrel of a gun---------------------------------------------------------------------------------Ron Paul 2012----Vote the bastards out!---------------------------------
4 years 39 weeks ago, 2:36 PM

greg az

greg az's picture

Rank:
Secretary of Homeland Security
Points:
5873
Join Date:
Oct 2009
Location:
New York, NY, Germany
this is great...

Thanks Hamp.. ah and so very very true..

a man has to hold his word, hold his beliefs, and hold a good sight picture.
4 years 39 weeks ago, 2:44 PM

luckybychoice

luckybychoice's picture


Rank:
Secretary of the Treasury
Points:
6793
Join Date:
May 2009
Location:
United States
ha!

i'd invite 10 of my buds over and hang out in the garage,tell lies and act smart,wait that's what i do...dooh! she got me.

i tried being reasonable,i didn't like it, NRA LIFE MEMBER,USMC VETERAN

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