Forums / Off Topic / Th Guys' Rules

5 years 30 weeks ago, 3:53 PM

Nitris

Nitris's picture

Rank:
Lieutenant General
Points:
1913
Join Date:
Nov 2008
Location:
Th Guys' Rules

Thought you fellas would enjoy this e-mail I got:

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down.
Finally , the guys' side of the story.
We always hear "the rules" from the female side.
Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!

Please note.. these are all numbered "1"
ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining because you leave it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria 's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, You probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done. Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really .

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as SEX, CARS, HUNTING, FISHING, the shotgun formation (Football), Hockey, Baseball, Basketball or Golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

Ron Paul 2012 III
5 years 30 weeks ago, 5:00 PM

hillbilly77

hillbilly77's picture

Rank:
Lieutenant General
Points:
1085
Join Date:
Jan 2009
Location:
Newport, Wa
Do you think?

We could convence our wifes into following this? No me either.

“If ever time should come,when vain and aspiring men shall possess the highest seats in government, our country will stand in need of it's experienced Patriots to prevent it's ruin."Samuel Adams
5 years 30 weeks ago, 5:08 PM

marten2nd

marten2nd's picture

Rank:
Brigadier General
Points:
275
Join Date:
Mar 2009
Location:
Murdock, Lennox

Sleeping on the couch again...
you verry Bizzi women at work
EM thinkin!.

give the devil his due

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