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4 weeks 4 days ago, 7:21 AM

luckybychoice

luckybychoice's picture

Rank:
Lieutenant General
Points:
1068
Join Date:
May 2009
Location:
Webster, MN, United States

In summary, the police arrested Patrick Lawrence, 22 year old white male, in a pumpkin patch 11:38 p.m. On Friday night.

On Monday, at the Wanango County (PA) courthouse, Lawrence was charged with lewd and lascivious Behavior, public indecency, and public intoxication.

The suspect explained that as he was passing a pumpkin patch on his way home from a drinking session when he decided to stop, "You know how a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around for miles or at least I thought there wasn't anyone
around," he stated in a telephone interview. Lawrence went on to say, "I pulled over to the side of the road, picked out a pumpkin that felt appropriate for the purpose, cut a hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy my alleged need." "Guess I was really into it, you know?" he commented with evident embarrassment..

In the process of doing the deed, Lawrence failed to notice an approaching police car and was unaware of his audience until Officer Brenda Taylor approached him. "'It was an
unusual situation, that's for sure,"' said Officer Taylor, "I walked up to Lawrence and he's just banging away at this Pumpkin," Officer Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached Lawrence, "I said, Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you're having sex with a pumpkin?"

"He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there, and then he looked me straight in the face and said, "A pumpkin? Shit, is it midnight already?'"

This was in the Washington Post; title of the article was "Best Come Back Line Ever!"

4 weeks 4 days ago, 9:45 AM

ecaman

ecaman's picture

Rank:
Major General
Points:
528
Join Date:
Jul 2009
Location:
Payson, UT, United States

As I started reading this I was disgusted, then when I got to the punch line it was really funny.

He who laughs last thinks slowest.
3 weeks 5 days ago, 12:09 PM

zx12rmike

zx12rmike's picture

Rank:
General of the Army
Points:
2662
Join Date:
Dec 2008
Location:
Visalia, Calif

They didn't let him put that one back did they, ewwwwwwwe

Always bring enough gun, more than enough is also acceptable!