Forums / Off Topic / For us older Gent's & younger whipper snappers!!!

4 years 7 weeks ago, 10:18 AM

Larry Wagner

Larry Wagner's picture

Rank:
Lieutenant General
Points:
1860
Join Date:
Nov 2009
Location:
Arizona, United States

Subj: Taco Bell Senior
"$5.37." That's what the kid behind the counter
at Taco Bell said to me. I dug into my pocket and pulled out some lint and two dimes and something that used to be a Jolly Rancher. Having already handed the kid a five-spot, I started to head back out to the truck to grab some change, when the kid with the Elmo
hairdo said the harshest thing anyone has ever said to me.

He said, "It's OK. I'll just give you the senior citizen discount."

I turned to see who he was talking to and then heard the sound of change hitting the counter in front of me.

"Only $4.68," he said cheerfully.

I stood there stupefied. I am 58, not even 60 yet. A mere child! Senior citizen? I took
my burrito and walked out to the truck, wondering what was wrong with Elmo. Was
he blind? As I sat in the truck, my blood began to boil. Old? Me? I'll show him, I thought. I opened the door and headed back inside. I strode to the counter, and there he was waiting with a smile.

Before I could say a word, he held up something and jingled it in front of me, like I could be that easily distracted! What am I
now? A toddler?

"Dude! Can't get too far without your car keys, eh?" I stared with utter disdain at the keys. I began to rationalize in my mind. "Leaving keys behind hardly makes a man elderly! It could happen to anyone!" I turned and headed back to the truck. I slipped the key into the ignition, but it wouldn't turn.

What now? I checked my keys and tried another. Still nothing.
That's when I noticed the purple beads hanging from my rearview mirror. I had no purple beads hanging from my rearview mirror.

Then, a few other objects came into focus. The car seat in the back seat. Happy Meal toys spread all over the floorboard. A partially eaten doughnut on the dashboard. Faster than you can say ginkgo biloba, I flew out of the alien vehicle.

Moments later I was speeding out of the parking lot, relieved to finally be leaving this nightmarish stop in my life. That is when I felt it, deep in the bowels of my stomach: hunger! My stomach growled and churned, and I reached to grab my burrito, only it was nowhere to be found.

I swung the truck around, gathered my courage, and strode back into the restaurant one final time. There Elmo stood, draped in youth and black nail polish. All I could think was, "What is the world coming to?"
All I could say was, "Did I leave my food and drink in here?" At this point I was ready to ask a Boy Scout to help me back to my vehicle, and then go straight home and apply for Social Security benefits.

Elmo had no clue. I walked back out to the truck, and suddenly a young lad came up and tugged on my jeans to get my attention. He was holding up a drink and a bag. His mother explained, "I think you left this in my truck by mistake." I took the food and drink from
the little boy and sheepishly apologized.

He offered these kind words, "It's OK. My grandfather does stuff like this all the time."

All of this is to explain how I got a ticket doing 85 in a 40. Yes, I was racing some punk kid in a Toyota Prius. And, no, I told the officer, I'm not too old to be driving this fast.

As I walked in the front door, my wife met me alfway down the hall. I handed her a bag of cold food and a $300 speeding ticket. I promptly sat in my rocking chair and covered up my legs with a blankey.

The good news was I had successfully found my way home.
-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
READ BELOW!

Just in case you
weren't feeling too old today - - -

The people who are starting college this fall were born in 1991.

They are too young to remember the space shuttle blowing up.

Their lifetime has always included AIDS.

The CD was introduced two years before they were born.

They have always had voice mail.

They have always had cable.

Popcorn has always been microwaved.

They never took a swim and thought about Jaws.

They don't know who Mork was or where he was from.

They never heard, "Where's the Beef?", "I'd walk a mile for a Camel ," or "de plane, Boss, de plane."

They don't have a clue how to use a typewriter.

Pass this on to the other old fogies on your list.

Notice the larger type? That's for those of us who have trouble reading.

P.S. Save the earth. It's the only planet with chocolate.

Forward

Any day above dirt is a good day!!! My New Motto: Where Do I Sign? (Oh yes I would)
4 years 7 weeks ago, 10:28 AM

greg az

greg az's picture

Rank:
Secretary of Homeland Security
Points:
5873
Join Date:
Oct 2009
Location:
New York, NY, Rwanda

This is going to turn into a geezer post im pretty sure so i'll just lead off..

I was telling the girls on Sat..(family get together for g-kids bd) when you walk into a room and have NO idea why your there.. The first couple of times its scary right... Then the REAL odd thing happens.. you walk into a room

and your all PROUD cause you now remember why your there.. That and the whole peeing thing.. Oh, and forgot the hearing and sight deal.. Course the memory stays the same.. Some other stuff but i can't ah.... Hey i know what room im in..

a man has to hold his word, hold his beliefs, and hold a good sight picture.
4 years 7 weeks ago, 10:50 AM

Larry Wagner

Larry Wagner's picture

Rank:
Lieutenant General
Points:
1860
Join Date:
Nov 2009
Location:
Arizona, United States
Greg

Thought I was the Geezer in training, Check out Hamp, 41???? Cotton pickin kid's LOL

Any day above dirt is a good day!!! My New Motto: Where Do I Sign? (Oh yes I would)
4 years 7 weeks ago, 10:58 AM

HampsterW

HampsterW's picture

Rank:
Secretary of State
Points:
7723
Join Date:
Jan 2010
Location:
Cottonwood Heights, Utah, United States
Ah so! It's the

damn kid's that cause the senility, you ought to know that....lol

Change you can truly believe in comes from the barrel of a gun---------------------------------------------------------------------------------Ron Paul 2012----Vote the bastards out!---------------------------------
4 years 7 weeks ago, 11:02 AM

Larry Wagner

Larry Wagner's picture

Rank:
Lieutenant General
Points:
1860
Join Date:
Nov 2009
Location:
Arizona, United States
Man I

Like laughing!!! LMAO.

Any day above dirt is a good day!!! My New Motto: Where Do I Sign? (Oh yes I would)
4 years 7 weeks ago, 10:46 AM

HampsterW

HampsterW's picture

Rank:
Secretary of State
Points:
7723
Join Date:
Jan 2010
Location:
Cottonwood Heights, Utah, United States
Great post Larry,

the scary part is that some of this sounds kinda familiar and I am only 41.....

Change you can truly believe in comes from the barrel of a gun---------------------------------------------------------------------------------Ron Paul 2012----Vote the bastards out!---------------------------------
4 years 7 weeks ago, 10:51 AM

Larry Wagner

Larry Wagner's picture

Rank:
Lieutenant General
Points:
1860
Join Date:
Nov 2009
Location:
Arizona, United States
Hey

Fuzz ball's back, Good deal.

Any day above dirt is a good day!!! My New Motto: Where Do I Sign? (Oh yes I would)
4 years 7 weeks ago, 11:20 AM

HKBauer

HKBauer's picture

Rank:
Lieutenant General
Points:
1532
Join Date:
Jul 2010
Location:
United States
Same here Hamp

and im only 32! It has to be the dang kids I will have a teenager in two months but its already starting!

4 years 7 weeks ago, 10:48 AM

Larry Wagner

Larry Wagner's picture

Rank:
Lieutenant General
Points:
1860
Join Date:
Nov 2009
Location:
Arizona, United States
Hamp

LMAO,

Any day above dirt is a good day!!! My New Motto: Where Do I Sign? (Oh yes I would)
4 years 7 weeks ago, 1:45 PM

luckybychoice

luckybychoice's picture


Rank:
Secretary of the Treasury
Points:
6793
Join Date:
May 2009
Location:
United States
yes i read the title

of the post and debated in my head which age group i should be in.

i tried being reasonable,i didn't like it, NRA LIFE MEMBER,USMC VETERAN
4 years 7 weeks ago, 1:49 PM

greg az

greg az's picture

Rank:
Secretary of Homeland Security
Points:
5873
Join Date:
Oct 2009
Location:
New York, NY, Rwanda

YOUR AN OLD FART..

any other questions..

a man has to hold his word, hold his beliefs, and hold a good sight picture.
4 years 7 weeks ago, 2:16 PM

luckybychoice

luckybychoice's picture


Rank:
Secretary of the Treasury
Points:
6793
Join Date:
May 2009
Location:
United States
you had to go and

bust that bubble didn't you,lol.

i tried being reasonable,i didn't like it, NRA LIFE MEMBER,USMC VETERAN
4 years 7 weeks ago, 1:58 PM

manu2014

manu2014's picture

Rank:
Lieutenant General
Points:
926
Join Date:
Feb 2009
Location:
Raleigh
Forgot my name Once

I called someone and when they answered I said hi "Jane" this is - uh, uh ,uh... Finally I remembered and the short bus came a few minutes later.

Rather than love, than money, than fame, give me truth. Thoreau
4 years 7 weeks ago, 2:17 PM

Vaquero

Vaquero's picture

Rank:
General of the Army
Points:
5502
Join Date:
Dec 2009
Location:
West Texas
I like to

whip her snapper now and then.
Does that count?

The truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth!
4 years 7 weeks ago, 2:20 PM

HampsterW

HampsterW's picture

Rank:
Secretary of State
Points:
7723
Join Date:
Jan 2010
Location:
Cottonwood Heights, Utah, United States
"whip her snapper"

LMFAO!!!!!!!!!

Change you can truly believe in comes from the barrel of a gun---------------------------------------------------------------------------------Ron Paul 2012----Vote the bastards out!---------------------------------
4 years 7 weeks ago, 2:35 PM

greg az

greg az's picture

Rank:
Secretary of Homeland Security
Points:
5873
Join Date:
Oct 2009
Location:
New York, NY, Rwanda
only Pard.. sheesh.

yeah me to.. when i can find it, and remember how, and all that stuff.. you know your getting old when you have a woodie and forget what to do with it.. HEY.. IM STILL A KID THEN ! woopie..

a man has to hold his word, hold his beliefs, and hold a good sight picture.
4 years 7 weeks ago, 3:14 PM

Caber

Caber's picture

Rank:
Brigadier General
Points:
276
Join Date:
May 2009
Location:
West Jefferson, NC USA, United States
LMFAO

My wife asked me why I was laughing, and I had to go back to the top of the post to remember why...........

Caber
4 years 7 weeks ago, 4:00 PM

Vaquero

Vaquero's picture

Rank:
General of the Army
Points:
5502
Join Date:
Dec 2009
Location:
West Texas
Over here guys

I gotta brighten up a bit!

The truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth!
4 years 7 weeks ago, 4:19 PM

catfish88

catfish88's picture

Rank:
General
Points:
2586
Join Date:
Jan 2009

So is the thread where all the old guys hang out on?? My hair is grayer than Hamps, so I guess I should hang out here too. I'm thinking of applying to be in an add for "just for men" hair dye.

4 years 7 weeks ago, 5:24 PM

Schuyler

Schuyler's picture

Rank:
General
Points:
3905
Join Date:
Nov 2008
Location:
Bainbridge Island, Washington, United States

Hijack: It's my two year anniversary at gunslot. Hee Ya. And, umm, double hijack: in a few days the Spousal Unit and I are headed for Egypt, Jordan, and Israel, so I'll take a few days away from my brothers here and shoot a few pics of the Sphinx and shit. Be back just before Thanksgiving. Guess I can't take my Glock with me, but there's probably some AK-47s lying around.

"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing." - Edmund Burke
4 years 7 weeks ago, 7:59 PM

Larry Wagner

Larry Wagner's picture

Rank:
Lieutenant General
Points:
1860
Join Date:
Nov 2009
Location:
Arizona, United States
Schuyler

Have a great trip.

Any day above dirt is a good day!!! My New Motto: Where Do I Sign? (Oh yes I would)
4 years 7 weeks ago, 5:34 PM

HampsterW

HampsterW's picture

Rank:
Secretary of State
Points:
7723
Join Date:
Jan 2010
Location:
Cottonwood Heights, Utah, United States
Congrats Schuyler,

nope, Glock's don't fly well (with TSA) and I for one look forward to your pictures, we can all travel vicariously through you.....Enjoy!

Change you can truly believe in comes from the barrel of a gun---------------------------------------------------------------------------------Ron Paul 2012----Vote the bastards out!---------------------------------
4 years 7 weeks ago, 7:21 PM

Vaquero

Vaquero's picture

Rank:
General of the Army
Points:
5502
Join Date:
Dec 2009
Location:
West Texas
Schuy

I missed this earlier, congrats and it sounds like an awesome trip.
I too, look forward to the photos.

The truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth!
4 years 7 weeks ago, 7:54 PM

Larry Wagner

Larry Wagner's picture

Rank:
Lieutenant General
Points:
1860
Join Date:
Nov 2009
Location:
Arizona, United States
Evening fellas

Wife is watching Dancing with the stars so here I am in my cubby hole / office / gun working room / spare bed room. How's everybody??

Any day above dirt is a good day!!! My New Motto: Where Do I Sign? (Oh yes I would)
4 years 7 weeks ago, 7:57 PM

Vaquero

Vaquero's picture

Rank:
General of the Army
Points:
5502
Join Date:
Dec 2009
Location:
West Texas
Larry

I'm just peachy. How's things on your end? You got everything under control?

The truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth!
4 years 7 weeks ago, 7:58 PM

Bigshot Nobody

Bigshot Nobody's picture

Rank:
Lieutenant General
Points:
721
Join Date:
Oct 2009
Excellent Schuyler

Have a great trip for all of us who can only dream of going there some day aye. and bring back some cheap Dinars while you are there for me too aye.

"We fight not for Glory nor for Honors; but only and alone we fight for Freedom, which no Good Man surrenders but with his life" - Robert the Bruce "Declaration of Arbroath"
4 years 7 weeks ago, 7:59 PM

Larry Wagner

Larry Wagner's picture

Rank:
Lieutenant General
Points:
1860
Join Date:
Nov 2009
Location:
Arizona, United States
Vaq

Yea for the most part, Still a tad rough around the edges, but moving forward.

Any day above dirt is a good day!!! My New Motto: Where Do I Sign? (Oh yes I would)
4 years 7 weeks ago, 8:02 PM

Vaquero

Vaquero's picture

Rank:
General of the Army
Points:
5502
Join Date:
Dec 2009
Location:
West Texas
Larry

That's the key, progress.
Never settle!

The truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth!
4 years 7 weeks ago, 8:04 PM

Larry Wagner

Larry Wagner's picture

Rank:
Lieutenant General
Points:
1860
Join Date:
Nov 2009
Location:
Arizona, United States
Vaq

Agreed!!

Any day above dirt is a good day!!! My New Motto: Where Do I Sign? (Oh yes I would)
4 years 7 weeks ago, 8:00 PM

Bigshot Nobody

Bigshot Nobody's picture

Rank:
Lieutenant General
Points:
721
Join Date:
Oct 2009
Larry, since you

put a pic of yer old guitar,, thought I'd show a pic of mine. Can't play it worth a flip but I'll never turn loose my 45 year old Sears Catalog Silvertone. Nothing I've ever heard sounds as 'rich' as this one does aye

"We fight not for Glory nor for Honors; but only and alone we fight for Freedom, which no Good Man surrenders but with his life" - Robert the Bruce "Declaration of Arbroath"
4 years 7 weeks ago, 8:03 PM

Larry Wagner

Larry Wagner's picture

Rank:
Lieutenant General
Points:
1860
Join Date:
Nov 2009
Location:
Arizona, United States
Bigshot

Love to see it, I remember Silvertone, If I am not mistaken I had one years ago.Back then, a lot of those old Sears, Wards, ETC Guitars had fantastic tone.

Any day above dirt is a good day!!! My New Motto: Where Do I Sign? (Oh yes I would)
4 years 7 weeks ago, 8:21 PM

Larry Wagner

Larry Wagner's picture

Rank:
Lieutenant General
Points:
1860
Join Date:
Nov 2009
Location:
Arizona, United States
OK fellas

Gonna go for a little walk while the mood is still on me. see ya all later, Maby back on after while?????

Any day above dirt is a good day!!! My New Motto: Where Do I Sign? (Oh yes I would)
4 years 7 weeks ago, 8:33 PM

Vaquero

Vaquero's picture

Rank:
General of the Army
Points:
5502
Join Date:
Dec 2009
Location:
West Texas
Later guys

I'm gone to bed,
Catch yall tomorrow.

The truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth!
4 years 7 weeks ago, 6:52 AM

manu2014

manu2014's picture

Rank:
Lieutenant General
Points:
926
Join Date:
Feb 2009
Location:
Raleigh
Schuyler - Be safe

Check out some of the IDF Girls for us. See if they are as beautiful as the photos!!

Rather than love, than money, than fame, give me truth. Thoreau
4 years 6 weeks ago, 1:46 PM

tallguy007

tallguy007's picture

Rank:
Lieutenant General
Points:
1992
Join Date:
Aug 2010
Location:
yavin, outer rim, American Samoa
too funny

try subway its better for you plus after taco hell ur be running for the bath room lol

DEATH BEFORE DISHONOR
4 years 6 weeks ago, 5:34 PM

runawaygun762

runawaygun762's picture

Rank:
Vice President
Points:
8929
Join Date:
Nov 2008
Location:
Richland, MO, United States
Schuyler

Have you been to Egypt yet? When I did a two month Bright Star rotation, we got to go see the Pyramids of Giza, the Sphynx, the museum with King Tut's mask (14 or 17 pounds of gold), and got to do some shopping. Egyptian tourism police are fucking brutal to vendors. Be careful of the camel guys. They'll offer to let you sit on the camel for pictures for free, but then charge a shitload to let you off the damned things.

"I have always been a soldier. I have known no other life. The calling of arms, I have followed from boyhood. I have never sought another." From The Virtues of War, by Steven Pressfield.

Who's Online

Guns Lot Activity
Users
Currently Active Users: 923 (1 member and 922 guests)
captmax

Guns Lot Statistics
Stats Topics: 8,688, Comments: 161,602, Members: 23,517
Welcome our newest member: Hank6046

Recent Activity