Forums / Off Topic / Welfare Office

4 years 45 weeks ago, 8:45 PM

daisycutter

daisycutter's picture

Rank:
General of the Army
Points:
5724
Join Date:
Jul 2009
Location:
Arkansas
Welfare Office

A guy walked into the local welfare office to pick up his check.
He marched straight up to the counter and said, "Hi. You know...., I just HATE
drawing welfare. I'd really rather have a job."

The social worker behind the counter said, "Your timing is excellent.
We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a
Chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful daughter. You'll drive his
2012 Mercedes-Benz CL and he will supply all of your clothes. Because
of the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll also be expected to
escort the daughter on her overseas holiday trips. This is rather
awkward to say, but you will also as part of your job description have
to satisfy her sexual urges. The daughter is in her mid-20's and has a
rather strong sex drive."

The guy in wide-eyed amazement said, "You're bullshittin' me!"

The social worker said, "Well, you started it."

iyaoyas
4 years 45 weeks ago, 9:06 PM

Saint J.M. Browning

Saint J.M. Browning's picture

Rank:
General
Points:
3569
Join Date:
Feb 2011
Location:
The Colony, Texas, United States
Welfare

lol!

Good stuff, daisy.

"I don't think Hank done it this way" - Waylon
4 years 45 weeks ago, 9:10 PM

Builtf0rdtough

Builtf0rdtough's picture

Rank:
Lieutenant General
Points:
903
Join Date:
Nov 2009
Location:
FL, United States

lmao, thats funny. I think ill end the night on that note. Goodnight GS!

"Socialism is the philosophy of failure, the creed of ignorance, and the gospel of envy"-Winston Churchill
4 years 45 weeks ago, 9:14 PM

Saint J.M. Browning

Saint J.M. Browning's picture

Rank:
General
Points:
3569
Join Date:
Feb 2011
Location:
The Colony, Texas, United States
'night BFT

See you manana.

"I don't think Hank done it this way" - Waylon
4 years 45 weeks ago, 9:50 PM

daisycutter

daisycutter's picture

Rank:
General of the Army
Points:
5724
Join Date:
Jul 2009
Location:
Arkansas

and she went to houswares. She bought stuff, I window shopped BUT, Taurus .380, a tiny and light weight pistole that easily slides into my pocket. Too bad the clerk was watching.
I'm darn tempted to buy one since the J frame Smith is hard to conceal. With the 1911 I may as well be carrying a blooper LOL

What y'all think about a Taurus .380?

"Is that a gun in your pocket or are ya just glad to see me?"

iyaoyas
4 years 45 weeks ago, 9:56 PM

Vaquero

Vaquero's picture

Rank:
General
Points:
5504
Join Date:
Dec 2009
Location:
West Texas
Taurus .380

About the same as the Ruger LCP.
Easy to conceal for sure. If you have big hands they are kinda hard to hang on to when fired.
My wife loves her LCP. Not a lot of fun at the range honestly. Lightweight and compact means a healthy recoil even from .380

The truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth!
4 years 45 weeks ago, 10:06 PM

daisycutter

daisycutter's picture

Rank:
General of the Army
Points:
5724
Join Date:
Jul 2009
Location:
Arkansas

do with all these extra fingers?"
He gave me one of those blank stares like "Well, that is the 112th time I've heard that today."

The little dude really kicks huh? Similar to a snub .38? My "J" frame bucks pretty good and with the small round butt grips it's rough. Not miserable but a real snap when it fires.

I guess it's kinda obvious that being so comfortable with my 1911 I do have size large hands, the whole Taurus can be hidden under my hand, mostly :<)

I'll go back to the store and look at it again just to ponder

I REALLY want a 1908 Colt .380 but they are higher than a cat's back.

iyaoyas
4 years 45 weeks ago, 10:12 PM

Saint J.M. Browning

Saint J.M. Browning's picture

Rank:
General
Points:
3569
Join Date:
Feb 2011
Location:
The Colony, Texas, United States
Colt 1908

That would be nice. I drooled over one the local Cabela's had. Maybe Bass Pro? Anyway, yeah, price is more than I would want to pay for a mouse gun.

"I don't think Hank done it this way" - Waylon
4 years 45 weeks ago, 10:26 PM

daisycutter

daisycutter's picture

Rank:
General of the Army
Points:
5724
Join Date:
Jul 2009
Location:
Arkansas

It was stolen from my apt while I was on detachment with the Navy. Thieves also took my MK1 Ruger.
The cops got the Ruger back for me, wrapped in a wet towel. By the time I got it the blue was blown.
I was in the midst of deploying to the east coast so dropped it off at the armory at N.A.S Alameda.
2 months later I was back in town, went to the armory to claim my rustol. The guy at the desk laid a brand new Ruger MK 1 on the counter, "Sign here please". I said "ain't my gun!"
Turns out that the Armory officer saw it and could not stand to see it in that condition so he totally restored it.

I gave him the gun inexchange for all the hours and hard work he put in on it.

iyaoyas
4 years 45 weeks ago, 10:30 PM

Saint J.M. Browning

Saint J.M. Browning's picture

Rank:
General
Points:
3569
Join Date:
Feb 2011
Location:
The Colony, Texas, United States
Good story, DC

That was nice of you. I'm sure the guy deserved it. It's too bad about the Colt though. Sure would been nice to get it back.

"I don't think Hank done it this way" - Waylon
4 years 45 weeks ago, 10:37 PM

daisycutter

daisycutter's picture

Rank:
General of the Army
Points:
5724
Join Date:
Jul 2009
Location:
Arkansas

done that for me.
I used to shoot the Colt at 15 yds, not bad, kept it on the paper :<) The bore had some rifling and was dark.
As a keepsake, that's about all it was.

iyaoyas

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