Forums / Off Topic / Women

5 years 42 weeks ago, 5:07 PM

ssrs10

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Women

Okay so here's something funny that I heard the other day, this has to do with women and how picky they can be. So here's the platform for the joke There is a department store but this is no regular department store this is a department store just for women and the merchandise is men. So, women may enter the store and pick any man that they'd like and thee are many many floors in this place, there is only one hitch to this shopping extravaganza though once you leave a floor you may never return to it to buy one of the men on that floor. Okay!
So this lady enters the store looking for a man she get's to the first floor and looks at the tag on one of the men she fancies. It proclaims "Handyman" she thinks to herself "oh that's nice I wonder what's on the next floor up!" and proceeds up. Once she arrives she finds a man and his tag reads "Handyman, romantic" she thinks to herself "oh that's nice I wonder what's on the next floor up!" and proceeds up. Once she arrives and finds a man his tag reads "Handyman, Romantic, Loves to cuddle" and he has the body of a model, she thinks to herself "oh that's nice I wonder what's on the next floor up!" and proceeds up. This continues for a number of floors until she eventually reaches the top floor, the elevator stops with a ding. And the doors slide open, there standing before her eyes are a number of normal men all mosying about smoking, drinking coffee and mingling and they all look up at her when she arrives. She thinks to herself "What the hell is this?" Just goes to show that women are never happy with what they've got.

It's 106 miles to Chicago, we got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark, and we're wearing sunglasses
5 years 42 weeks ago, 6:50 PM

traumatriage1911

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Well thats kind of

a gay ass joke, but I will give the benifit that women sure are complicated and boggle me and evey man I know. Sounds like her standards were too high.

"You and your mom are hillbillies. This is a house of learned doctors." "You're not a doctor. You're a big, fat, curly-headed fuck."
5 years 42 weeks ago, 6:54 PM

traumatriage1911

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WHY DOGS ARE BETTER THAN WOMEN

Dogs don't cry (unless they have to pee).

Dogs love it when your friends come over.

Dogs don't care if you use their shampoo.

Dogs think you sing great.

A dog's time in the bathroom is confined to a quick drink.

Dogs don't expect you to call when you are running late.

The later you are, the more excited dogs are to see you

Dogs will forgive you for playing with other dogs.

Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name.

Dogs are excited by rough play.

Dogs don't mind if you give their offspring away.

Dogs understand that farts are funny.

Dogs love red meat.

Dogs can appreciate excessive body hair.

Anyone can get a good-looking dog.

If a dog is gorgeous, other dogs don't hate it.

Dogs don't shop.

Dogs like it when you leave lots of things on the floor.

A dog's disposition stays the same all month long.

Dogs never need to examine the relationship.

A dog's parents never visit.

Dogs love long car trips.

Dogs understand that instincts are better than asking for directions.

Dogs understand that all animals smaller than dogs were made to be hunted.

When a dog gets old and starts to snap at you incessantly, you can shoot it.

Dogs like beer.

Dogs don't hate their bodies.

No dog ever bought a Kenny G or Hootie & the Blowfish album.

No dog ever put on 100 pounds after reaching adulthood.

Dogs never criticize.

Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.

Dogs never expect gifts.

It's legal to keep a dog chained up at your house.

Dogs don't worry about germs.

Dogs don't want to know about every other dog you ever had.

Dogs like to do their snooping outside as opposed to in your wallet, desk, and the back of your sock drawer.

Dogs don't let magazine articles guide their lives.

Dogs would rather have you buy them a hamburger dinner than a lobster one.

You never have to wait for a dog, they're ready to go 24 hours a day.

Dogs have no use for flowers, cards, or jewelry.

Dogs don't borrow your shirts.

Dogs never want foot-rubs.

Dogs enjoy heavy petting in public.

Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk.

Dogs can't talk. Dogs aren't catty.

Dogs seldom outlive you.

"You and your mom are hillbillies. This is a house of learned doctors." "You're not a doctor. You're a big, fat, curly-headed fuck."
5 years 42 weeks ago, 9:49 PM

raffycanlas

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hey traumatriage1911

nice post lol, but i do not want to have sex with my large rottweiler

I'm just another damn yankee with a loaded gun looking for some fun!
5 years 42 weeks ago, 9:54 PM

ssrs10

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raffy

Yes you do....shut up

It's 106 miles to Chicago, we got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark, and we're wearing sunglasses
5 years 42 weeks ago, 9:56 PM

raffycanlas

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ssrs10

no i dont, i dont take it big and black lol

I'm just another damn yankee with a loaded gun looking for some fun!
5 years 42 weeks ago, 9:57 PM

ssrs10

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raffy

HAHA Oh I see

It's 106 miles to Chicago, we got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark, and we're wearing sunglasses
5 years 42 weeks ago, 8:04 AM

traumatriage1911

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side that SSRS was talking about, that women are so damn complicated and are not content with one dude. Yah, they have a word for what you were thinking of, it's called beastiality.

"You and your mom are hillbillies. This is a house of learned doctors." "You're not a doctor. You're a big, fat, curly-headed fuck."
5 years 42 weeks ago, 8:05 AM

traumatriage1911

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I will post it in the off topic section.

"You and your mom are hillbillies. This is a house of learned doctors." "You're not a doctor. You're a big, fat, curly-headed fuck."
5 years 42 weeks ago, 8:14 AM

Dr.angusmd21

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i had a dog

that put on 100 pounds after reaching adulthood. my 208 lb English mastiff Rebel and his 195lb brother Merlin. BIG boys i tell ya!

2850 fps
5 years 42 weeks ago, 8:16 AM

traumatriage1911

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Wow Angus

Thats a big pooch, you said you had, how long did he live?

"You and your mom are hillbillies. This is a house of learned doctors." "You're not a doctor. You're a big, fat, curly-headed fuck."
5 years 42 weeks ago, 8:21 AM

Dr.angusmd21

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died 3 months apart rebel hyper extended a guys knee and tore some ligaments once just by leaning on his leg to be petted.

2850 fps
5 years 42 weeks ago, 8:23 AM

traumatriage1911

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Those dogs are huge, he should have been wearing hockey shin guards.

"You and your mom are hillbillies. This is a house of learned doctors." "You're not a doctor. You're a big, fat, curly-headed fuck."

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