Forums / Off Topic / YOU MIGHT BE IN LAW ENFORCEMENT IF...

5 years 35 weeks ago, 3:47 PM

Reaper308

Reaper308's picture


Rank:
Secretary of Defense
Points:
6226
Join Date:
Jun 2008
Location:
Airstrip One, Oceania

1. Discussing dismemberment over a gourmet meal seems perfectly normal to you.
2. Your idea of a good time is a DUI at shift change.
3. You find humor in other people’s stupidity.
4. You believe in aerial spraying of Prozac.
5. Your idea of comforting an accident victim is to say fire rescue is on the way.
6. You believe that shallow gene pool is PC for an arrest.
7. You believe DONUT is a food group.
8. You believe that unspeakable evil will befall you if anyone ever says, Boy, it sure is quiet around here.
9. When you are out in public, you compliment a complete stranger on their weapon.
10. You have ever referred to someone’s death as exceptionally cleared.
11. Your idea of a really good time is dueling interrogation rooms.
12. You have ever had to leave someone’s house before you began laughing uncontrollably.
13. You think that coffee should be available in IV form.
14. You have ever restrained someone, and it was not a sexual experience.
15. The most commonly uttered phrase on the night shift is, What changed tonight, at 0200, that makes it an emergency after 6 months?
16. You believe that too stupid to live should be a disposition code.
17. You have ever wanted a terrorist to deliver a Ryder truck to the Public Defenders’ office.
18. You believe that dispatch should be supplied with a Valium salt-lick.
19. When you mention vegetables, you’re not referring to the food group.
20. You don’t worry about birth control, because there is not enough left of your paycheck for another paternity garnishment.
21. Your suspect states, I have no idea how that got stuck in there.
22. You have used the words video camera to strike fear in your co-workers hearts.
23. You can identify the tattoo to warrant ratio.
24. You have your weekends off marked and planned for a year.
25. You’ve ever booked someone just because they’re obnoxious.

"Proelium Comminus Auctoritate" "Sometimes the light at the end of the tunnel is a muzzle flash."
5 years 35 weeks ago, 3:51 PM

samD

samD's picture

Rank:
President
Points:
15597
Join Date:
Aug 2008
Location:
Green Valley, Free State of Arizona, United States
Very good Reaper

I empathize with what they have to go through.

5 years 35 weeks ago, 5:37 PM

Anonymous

YOU MIGHT BE IN LAW ENFORCEMENT IF...

If you use your Hazard lights as an excuse to drive really fast.

5 years 35 weeks ago, 6:39 PM

undeniable

undeniable's picture

Rank:
Major General
Points:
561
Join Date:
Dec 2008
Location:
Someplace in, Az.
Or, you might

be in Law Enforcement if you use the 10 code talking to your buddies on the phone after shift.

"The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist." Kevin Spacey: (The Usual Suspects)
5 years 35 weeks ago, 7:05 PM

samD

samD's picture

Rank:
President
Points:
15597
Join Date:
Aug 2008
Location:
Green Valley, Free State of Arizona, United States

is all you can think of is 10-8X

5 years 35 weeks ago, 7:06 PM

Schuyler

Schuyler's picture

Rank:
General
Points:
3905
Join Date:
Nov 2008
Location:
Bainbridge Island, Washington, United States
Hey

I've gotten booked because I was obnoxious, so I know damn well that one is real.

"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing." - Edmund Burke
5 years 35 weeks ago, 7:10 PM

samD

samD's picture

Rank:
President
Points:
15597
Join Date:
Aug 2008
Location:
Green Valley, Free State of Arizona, United States
Schuyler

which one? Is it sky-ler or schu-ler? A lady worked for me and pronounced it sky-ler.

5 years 35 weeks ago, 7:18 PM

Schuyler

Schuyler's picture

Rank:
General
Points:
3905
Join Date:
Nov 2008
Location:
Bainbridge Island, Washington, United States
It's Sky-ler

Sch as in 'school' 'uy' as in 'guy.' Only my dumb-ass southern cousins pronounce it incorrectly 'that other way.' Hey, I changed my avatar for you. Weren't you the one who was creeped out?

"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing." - Edmund Burke
5 years 35 weeks ago, 7:33 PM

samD

samD's picture

Rank:
President
Points:
15597
Join Date:
Aug 2008
Location:
Green Valley, Free State of Arizona, United States
Yes and I have

thanked you twice. I am trying to get my eyeballs back together now.

5 years 35 weeks ago, 7:15 PM

LLE

LLE's picture

Rank:
General
Points:
2869
Join Date:
Jul 2008
Location:
United States

if you stop Ham Radio operators on the road, and ask them what the secret is to getting a license.

Don't laugh. It has happened to me many times. Scary.

Too old to fight, Too old to run, guess that's why I carry a gun! "would someone show this asshole the way out of town".[Rabbi Avram Belinski-aka "The Frisco Kid"]
5 years 35 weeks ago, 7:19 PM

Schuyler

Schuyler's picture

Rank:
General
Points:
3905
Join Date:
Nov 2008
Location:
Bainbridge Island, Washington, United States
The secret is

to memorize the test books.

-KZ7B

"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing." - Edmund Burke
5 years 35 weeks ago, 7:27 PM

LLE

LLE's picture

Rank:
General
Points:
2869
Join Date:
Jul 2008
Location:
United States

but when I got mine, you took the exam at the closest FCC office. The questions required real electronics theory knowledge, including the ability to draw circuits, and the ability to both send and copy code. I guess that brands me as an old fart.

Too old to fight, Too old to run, guess that's why I carry a gun! "would someone show this asshole the way out of town".[Rabbi Avram Belinski-aka "The Frisco Kid"]
5 years 35 weeks ago, 7:30 PM

Schuyler

Schuyler's picture

Rank:
General
Points:
3905
Join Date:
Nov 2008
Location:
Bainbridge Island, Washington, United States
OK, so

when I get stopped and asked that question, do I use your answer or mine? (BTW, I got mine BEFORE they dropped the code.)

"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing." - Edmund Burke
5 years 35 weeks ago, 7:38 PM

samD

samD's picture

Rank:
President
Points:
15597
Join Date:
Aug 2008
Location:
Green Valley, Free State of Arizona, United States
KO gang

Akter tree neg ogs it is tiame to go lite da trea. Bambi is so kiand!

5 years 35 weeks ago, 7:38 PM

LLE

LLE's picture

Rank:
General
Points:
2869
Join Date:
Jul 2008
Location:
United States

to the LEO. --... ...--

Too old to fight, Too old to run, guess that's why I carry a gun! "would someone show this asshole the way out of town".[Rabbi Avram Belinski-aka "The Frisco Kid"]
5 years 35 weeks ago, 9:04 PM

fordvg

fordvg's picture

Rank:
Points:
5761
Join Date:
Oct 2008
Location:
Fancy Farm, Kentucky, United States

My wife and both of her parents are hams. Father-in-law has had his for 40 years and my wife has had her's for 20 years. Wife's KD6OWF and my father-in-law is WA6LDV. My Grandfather was a ham too.

"WAR IS A RACKET, I spent most of my time being a high-class muscle-man for Big Business, for Wall Street, and for the Bankers." Major-General Smedley Darlington Butler USMC Ret. 2 time Medal of Honor winner.
5 years 35 weeks ago, 9:11 PM

LLE

LLE's picture

Rank:
General
Points:
2869
Join Date:
Jul 2008
Location:
United States

especially your wife. Does she nag you, the way I nagged my wife, until she finally got her license? I have been licensed for 52 years.

Too old to fight, Too old to run, guess that's why I carry a gun! "would someone show this asshole the way out of town".[Rabbi Avram Belinski-aka "The Frisco Kid"]
5 years 35 weeks ago, 1:45 AM

fordvg

fordvg's picture

Rank:
Points:
5761
Join Date:
Oct 2008
Location:
Fancy Farm, Kentucky, United States
No, about naging

my father-in-law has been the nagg more than the wife.

"WAR IS A RACKET, I spent most of my time being a high-class muscle-man for Big Business, for Wall Street, and for the Bankers." Major-General Smedley Darlington Butler USMC Ret. 2 time Medal of Honor winner.
5 years 35 weeks ago, 5:00 AM

LLE

LLE's picture

Rank:
General
Points:
2869
Join Date:
Jul 2008
Location:
United States

If you are good at memorization, get the Technician Q&A book. You will be ready in a short time for the test. That will show you that you can do the same thing for the General Class license.

Too old to fight, Too old to run, guess that's why I carry a gun! "would someone show this asshole the way out of town".[Rabbi Avram Belinski-aka "The Frisco Kid"]
5 years 35 weeks ago, 10:37 AM

Pathfinder

Pathfinder's picture

Rank:
Corporal
Points:
8
Join Date:
Dec 2008
Yeah

4
12
21
24
25

It wasn't me/you have the wrong person.

That's not mine. I'm just borrowing the car. I didn't know it was in here.

But it wasn't loaded/I didn't mean to - after shooting them self/someone else.

I only had one drink/I only had a couple of beers.

You can ignore crying drunk women, even off duty!

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