Alternative Ways To Say No :

Alternative Ways To Say No :

Alternative Ways To Say No :

I'd rather have my nipples chewed off...by a pack of wild dogs.

I'd rather suck the snot out of a gorilla's nose...until the back of
his head caves in!

I would rather crush my foreskin between two tables while being bitch whipped by a fat, mustached geek named Spyros.

I'd rather drink a gallon of turpentine...and piss on a forest fire.

I'd rather suck cow snot...through a straw.

I'd rather watch Rosie O'Donnell and Roseanne mud wrestle... in the nude.

I'd rather bungee jump...with the harness tied to my penis...with your mom lying naked in the landing zone.

I would rather spend ten hours getting a tattoo on my back...and then find out it's the wrong one.

I'd rather have the ten strongest 300 pound linemen in the NFL play tug of war with my nut sack....each side of 5 pulling a separate nut in a different direction.

I would rather have my lower legs stripped with a wood planer...and then wear wool socks...in August.

I'd rather stick my nose up someone's ass...after he just finished taking a shit.

I'd rather shave my poison-ivy covered legs ... with a dull barber's razor...and no water or soap.

I'd rather french kiss a barracuda.

I'd rather butt fuck a rattlesnake... in a phone booth.

I'd rather nail my dick to the middle of a 2x4 and set both ends on fire...and try to get loose with a butter knife.

I would rather have sex with Pee Wee Herman in the daylight, without a bag to put over his head.

I'd rather drink for a week from the septic tank...of the 700 pound man next door.

I'd rather wipe my anus with barbed wire.

I'd rather insert and break a slender glass rod in my penis... then tie it in a knot.

I'd rather lick an elephant's asshole...after he had just dropped a load of steaming diarrhea.

I'd rather run naked through a rosebush garden...then jump into a pool filled with chlorine.

l would rather lie under an elephant with diarrhea...in August...with my mouth propped open.

I'd rather ride a donkey naked through the desert...with snapping turtles attached to my nipples.

I'd rather be tied to a chair...and forced to listen to Barry Manilow tunes..while having my tonsils removed with a rusty spoon.

18 Comments

4 years 11 weeks ago, 6:22 PM

HKBauer

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My wife just gave the WTH look I was laughing so hard! Thanks for the Jeff, I really needed today!

4 years 11 weeks ago, 6:41 PM

Jeffashbyjr

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No Problem

Found it funny myself

If you carry a gun, people call you paranoid. Nonsense! If you have a gun, what do you have to be paranoid about?
4 years 11 weeks ago, 7:16 PM

Larry Wagner

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Bauer, my wife just did the same thing. That's a good one.

Any day above dirt is a good day!!! My New Motto: Where Do I Sign? (Oh yes I would)
4 years 11 weeks ago, 7:19 PM

Mark3030

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MN

hope doing great

"the thrill of the hunt"
4 years 11 weeks ago, 7:25 PM

Larry Wagner

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Evening Mark, Still kickin here, & you?

Any day above dirt is a good day!!! My New Motto: Where Do I Sign? (Oh yes I would)
4 years 11 weeks ago, 7:27 PM

Mark3030

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Larry Wagner

Kicking, punching any way i can win LOL

"the thrill of the hunt"
4 years 11 weeks ago, 7:43 PM

samD

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President
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Hey Mark3030

Hope all is well. What brings you by? Lost? lol

4 years 11 weeks ago, 7:48 PM

Mark3030

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Samd

all is well i had just a very busy year with being promoted to corprate level

"the thrill of the hunt"
4 years 11 weeks ago, 7:46 PM

Mark3030

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Sam D

down on one knee coughing LOL i deserved that Samd

"the thrill of the hunt"
4 years 11 weeks ago, 7:47 PM

Mark3030

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R3B nice groupings

very nice

"the thrill of the hunt"
4 years 11 weeks ago, 7:48 PM

samD

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President
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Green Valley, Free State of Arizona, United States

I'll spread breadcrumbs along the trail for you.

4 years 11 weeks ago, 7:49 PM

HKBauer

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Thanks mark

Thanks mark

4 years 11 weeks ago, 7:50 PM

Mark3030

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MN

so whats new with u?

"the thrill of the hunt"
4 years 11 weeks ago, 7:57 PM

Mark3030

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gave myself scope eye.kinda knocked my self silly like i wasn't allready, but shh trying to be abby normal . also got my f350 stuck in the mud to the frame and took about 3 hrs to dig it out with a highlift jack

"the thrill of the hunt"
4 years 11 weeks ago, 7:59 PM

Schuyler

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or what? An F-350 stuck to the frame just presents so many possibilities for imagining what happened. It has a 6" lift, right?

"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing." - Edmund Burke
4 years 11 weeks ago, 8:02 PM

Mark3030

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Schuyler

yes the possibilities are endless and yes it has a 6" lift

"the thrill of the hunt"
4 years 11 weeks ago, 8:04 PM

Mark3030

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Samd , Schuyler

it was on the inlaws front yard so now i have do a whole lot of yard work next spring

"the thrill of the hunt"
4 years 11 weeks ago, 6:42 PM

traderjac

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Va, United States

First mistkae was...going to the in laws

If a man can make you mad just by talking, then he is far brighter than you.
Jeffashbyjr's picture
Posted by: Jeffashbyjr
4 years 11 weeks ago
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