Animal Rights Activists Take "War on Leather" to Motorcycle Gang Rally. (God I hope this is true)

Animal Rights Activists Take "War on Leather" to Motorcycle Gang Rally.  (God I hope this is true)

Thanks to ecaman for sending this to me...

Three Reported Missing After Animal Rights Activists Take "War on
Leather" to Motorcycle Gang Rally.

Johnstown, PA (BNSE): Local and state police scoured the hills
outside rural Johnstown, Pennsylvania, after reports of three animal
rights activists going missing after attempting to protest the wearing
of leather at a large motorcycle gang rally this weekend. Two others,
previously reported missing, were discovered by fast food workers
"duct taped inside several fast food restaurant dumpsters," according
to police officials.

"Something just went wrong," said a still visibly shaken organizer of
the protest. "Something just went horribly, horribly, wrong."

The organizer said a group of concerned animal rights activist groups,
"growing tired of throwing fake blood and shouting profanities at
older women wearing leather or fur coats," decided to protest the
annual motorcycle club event "in a hope to show them our outrage at
their wanton use of leather in their clothing and motor bike seats."
"In fact," said the organizer. "Motorcycle gangs are one of the
biggest abusers of wearing leather, and we decided it was high time
that we let them know that we disagree with them using it... Ergo,
they should stop."

According to witnesses, protesters arrived at the event in a vintage
1960's era Volkswagen van and began to pelt the gang members with
balloons filled with red colored water, simulating blood, and shouting
"you're murderers" to passers by. This, evidently, is when the
brouhaha began.

"They peed on me!!!" charged one activist. "They grabbed me, said I
looked like I was French, started calling me 'La Trene', and duct
taped me to a tree so they could pee on me all day!"

"I... I was trying to show my outrage at a man with a heavy leather
jacket. And, he... he didn't even care. I called him a murderer, and
all he said was, 'You can't prove that.' Next thing I know is he
forced me to ride on the back of his motorcycle all day, and not left
me off, because his girl friend was out of town and I was almost a
woman."

Still others claimed they were forced to eat hamburgers and hot dogs
under duress. Those who resisted were allegedly held down while
several bikers "farted on their heads."

Police officials declined comments on any leads or arrests due to the
ongoing nature of the investigation, however, organizers for the
motorcycle club rally expressed "surprise" at the allegations.

"That's preposterous," said on high ranking member of the biker
organizing committee. "We were having a party, and these people
showed up and were very rude to us. They threw things at us, called
us names, and tried to ruin the entire event. So, what did we do? We
invited them to the party! What could be more friendly than that?
You know, just because we are all members of motorcycle clubs does not
mean we do not care about inclusiveness. Personally, I think it shows
a lack of character for them to be saying such nasty things about us
after we bent over backwards to make them feel welcome."

When confronted with the allegations of force feeding the activists
meat, using them as ad hoc latrines, leaving them incapacitated in
fast food restaurant dumpsters, and 'farting on their heads,' the
organizer declined to comment in detail. "That's just our secret
handshake," assured the organizer.

3 Comments

5 years 5 days ago, 10:42 AM

Nitris

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http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s2i66233

Ron Paul 2012 III
5 years 5 days ago, 10:51 AM

ivantank

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stop it already, befrore i shit myself..my sides are killin me!!! this is WAY better than your verbal fights with RUN...

I have reasons for the things I do, just don't expect them to be reasonable
5 years 5 days ago, 10:53 AM

daisycutter

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~

iyaoyas
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Posted by: samD
5 years 5 days ago
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