A blonde and her husband are lying in bed
listening to the next door neighbor's dog. It
has been in the backyard barking for hours and
hours. The blonde jumps up out of bed and says,
"I've had enough of this"...She goes downstairs...
The blonde finally comes back up to bed and her
husband says "The dog is still barking, What
have you been doing?"
The blonde says, "I put the dog in our backyard.
Let's see how THEY like it!
Two Blonds With Hammers...
Lynn and Judy were doing some carpenter work on a Habitat for Humanity house. Lynn was nailing down house siding. She would reach into her nail pouch, pull out a nail and either toss it over her shoulder or nail it
Judy, figuring this was worth looking into, asked, 'Why are you throwing those nails away?'
Lynn explained, 'When I pull a nail out of my pouch, about half of them have the head on the wrong end, so I throw them away.'
Judy got completely upset and yelled, 'You moron! Those nails aren't defective!
They're for the other side of the house!'
Did you hear about the two blondes who froze to death in a drive-in movie?
They had gone to see 'Closed for the Winter.
A blonde was shopping at Target and came across a shiny silver thermos. She was quite fascinated by it, so she picked it up and took it to the clerk to ask what it was.
The clerk said, 'Why, that's a thermos..... It keeps hot things hot, and cold things cold.'
'Wow, said the blonde, 'that's amazing....I'm going to buy it!' So she bought the thermos and took it to work the next day.
Her boss saw it on her desk. 'What's that,' he asked?
'Why, that's a thermos..... It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold,' she replied.
Her boss inquired, 'So, what do you have in it?'
The blond replied.........'Two popsicles and some coffee.'
AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST
A blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out.
Her boss asked sympathetically, 'What's the matter?'
The blonde replies, 'Early this morning I got a phone call saying that my mother had passed away. The boss, feeling sorry for her, says, 'Why don't you go home for the day? Take the day off to relax and rest.'
'Thanks, but I'd be better off here. I need to keep my mind off it and I have the best chance of doing that here.'
The boss agrees and allows the blonde to work as usual. A couple of hours pass and the boss decides to check on the blonde. He looks out from his office and sees the blonde crying hysterically.
'What's so bad now? Are you gonna be okay?' he asks.
'No!' exclaims the blonde. 'I just received a horrible call from my sister. Her mother died, too!'