Arizona Joke

Arizona Joke

Thought you might like an Arizona joke!!!!!!!

> > Dear
> > Diary
> >
> > Just moved to Arizona !
> > Now this is a state that knows how to live.
> > Beautiful sunny
> > days, open skies, and breathtaking sunsets.
> > It is beautiful. I've finally
> > found my home. I love it here.
> >
> > June 14th:
> > Really heating up.
> > Got to 100 today. Not a problem. Live in
> >
> > an air-conditioned home, drive an
> > air-conditioned car. What a
> > pleasure to see the sun everyday like this.
> > I'm turning into a
> > sun worshipper.
> >
> > June
> > 30th:
> > Had the backyard landscaped with
> > western plants today. Lots of cactus and
> > rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more
> > mowing the lawn
> > for me. Another scorcher today, but I love it
> > here.
> >
> > July
> > 10th:
> > The temperature hasn't been below 105 all
> > week. How
> > do people get used to this kind of heat?
> > At least, it's kind of
> > windy though. But getting used to
> > the heat is taking longer
> > than I expected.
> >
> > July
> > 15th:
> > Fell asleep by the pool.
> > (Got 3rd degree burns over 60% of my
> > body).
> > Missed 3 days of work. What a dumb
> > thing to do. I learned my lesson
> > though. Got to respect the ol' sun in
> > a climate like this.
> >
> > July 20th:
> > I missed Fluffy (my cat)
> > sneaking into the
> > car when I left this morning. By the time I got
> > to the hot car at
> > noon, Fluffy had died and swollen up to
> > the size of a shopping bag, then popped like a
> > water
> > balloon. The car now smells like Kibbles and
> > Shits. I
> > learned my lesson though. No more pets in this
> > heat. Good ol'
> > Mr. Sun strikes again.
> >
> > July
> > 25th:
> > The wind sucks. It feels like a giant
> > freaking
> > blow dryer!! And, it's hot as hell.
> > The home air-conditioner is on the fritz
> > and the AC repairman charged
> > $200 just to drive by and tell me he needed to
> > order parts.
> >
> >
> >
> > July
> > 30th:
> > Been sleeping outside on the patio for 3
> > nights
> > now, $225,000 house and I can't even go
> > inside. Fluffy is the lucky one. Why
> > did I ever come here?
> >
> > Aug. 4th:
> > It's 115 degrees. Finally
> > got the air-conditioner fixed today.. It cost $1200
> > and gets
> > the temperature down to 85. I hate this
> > stupid state.
> >
> > Aug.
> > 8th:
> > If another wise ass cracks, 'Hot enough for
> > you today?' I'm going to strangle
> > him. Damn heat.
> > By the time I get to work, the radiator is
> > boiling over, my clothes
> > are soaking wet, and
> > I smell like baked cat!!
> >
> > Aug. 9th:
> > Tried to run some errands after
> > work. Wore shorts, and
> > when I sat on the seats in the car, I thought
> > my ass was on
> > fire. My skin melted to the seat. I lost
> > 2 layers of flesh and
> > all the hair on the back of my legs and
> > ass
> > . . . Now my car smells like burnt hair,
> > fried ass, and baked cat.
> >
> > Aug
> > 10th:
> > The weather report might as well be a damn
> > recording.
> > Hot and sunny. Hot
> > and sunny. Hot and sunny.
> > It's been too hot to
> > do anything for 2 damn months and the weatherman says
>
> > it might really warm
> > up next week. Doesn't it ever
> > rain in this damn state? Water
> > rationing will be next, so my $2700 worth of
> > cactus will just dry up
> > and blow away. Even the cactus can't live
> > in this damn heat.
> >
> > Aug.
> > 14th:
> > Welcome to HELL! Temperature
> >
> > got to 122
> > today. Cactus are dead.
> > Forgot to crack the window and blew the damn
> > windshield out of the car. The installer
> > came to fix it and guess what he asked
> > me??? "Hot enough for
> > you today?" My sister had to spend $1,500
> > to bail me out of jail.
> > Freaking
> > Arizona .
> > What kind of a sick demented idiot would want to
> > live here??
> >
> > Will write later to let you know how the trial
> > goes.

8 Comments

4 years 10 weeks ago, 10:21 AM

greg az

greg az's picture

Rank:
Secretary of Homeland Security
Points:
5873
Join Date:
Oct 2009
Location:
New York, NY, Rwanda

look at Yavapai county, and go stright down from the Y bout quarter inch... yep thats me..
Skippers down there in Pima county sitting on them steps at the bottom..

a man has to hold his word, hold his beliefs, and hold a good sight picture.
4 years 10 weeks ago, 10:25 AM

HampsterW

HampsterW's picture

Rank:
Secretary of State
Points:
7723
Join Date:
Jan 2010
Location:
Cottonwood Heights, Utah, United States
And Runs used to live

to the right of Skipper in Cochise if I remember right.

Change you can truly believe in comes from the barrel of a gun---------------------------------------------------------------------------------Ron Paul 2012----Vote the bastards out!---------------------------------
4 years 10 weeks ago, 10:29 AM

Reaper308

Reaper308's picture


Rank:
Secretary of Defense
Points:
6226
Join Date:
Jun 2008
Location:
Airstrip One, Oceania
I'm

right between y'all

"Proelium Comminus Auctoritate" "Sometimes the light at the end of the tunnel is a muzzle flash."
4 years 10 weeks ago, 10:39 AM

greg az

greg az's picture

Rank:
Secretary of Homeland Security
Points:
5873
Join Date:
Oct 2009
Location:
New York, NY, Rwanda
Yea Hamp but way south

Sierra Vista (which is a cool old base and brothers home for 35 years) is just 10 miles north of the border.. By the way you guys have been so good about asking how Garys doing.. He's still in the care center, this is month 3.. and they have him on a walker.. should be released next week if all goes well.. still not quite out of the woods but better..

The base runs was at is a trip.. typical huge military instalation.. and preserved history...some of the buildings go back to the mid 19th century.. common to see grafite from say 1870.. Neat old and really beautiful place.. base cemetary is a copy of arlington..They were both put in about the same time, and possible that the Army used a common design/blueprint for this.. At anyrate its really cool, and if the other AZ boys haven't seen it you really should..

a man has to hold his word, hold his beliefs, and hold a good sight picture.
4 years 10 weeks ago, 10:39 AM

HampsterW

HampsterW's picture

Rank:
Secretary of State
Points:
7723
Join Date:
Jan 2010
Location:
Cottonwood Heights, Utah, United States

Where Maricopa or Pinal?

Change you can truly believe in comes from the barrel of a gun---------------------------------------------------------------------------------Ron Paul 2012----Vote the bastards out!---------------------------------
4 years 10 weeks ago, 10:47 AM

Reaper308

Reaper308's picture


Rank:
Secretary of Defense
Points:
6226
Join Date:
Jun 2008
Location:
Airstrip One, Oceania
Me

Maricopa

"Proelium Comminus Auctoritate" "Sometimes the light at the end of the tunnel is a muzzle flash."
4 years 10 weeks ago, 10:50 AM

HampsterW

HampsterW's picture

Rank:
Secretary of State
Points:
7723
Join Date:
Jan 2010
Location:
Cottonwood Heights, Utah, United States

~

Change you can truly believe in comes from the barrel of a gun---------------------------------------------------------------------------------Ron Paul 2012----Vote the bastards out!---------------------------------
4 years 10 weeks ago, 8:52 PM

runawaygun762

runawaygun762's picture

Rank:
Vice President
Points:
8929
Join Date:
Nov 2008
Location:
Richland, MO, United States
I loved Sierra Vista

Plenty of rain, 115 with 7-20% humidity at worst, things were great. Now, the first house I rented had an AC unit that was way too small for the house, so it never got below 81 inside in summer, so that kinda sucked for a few weeks.

Arizona is a great state to see from inside a car. Beautiful mountains and scenery, historic locations, a real wild west feel, but as soon as you get out of the car, everything is hot and dry and sharp and venomous. Goddamn, do I miss it.

"I have always been a soldier. I have known no other life. The calling of arms, I have followed from boyhood. I have never sought another." From The Virtues of War, by Steven Pressfield.
HampsterW's picture
Posted by: HampsterW
4 years 10 weeks ago
Views:
1,525
Comments:
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