Arizona Joke

Thought you might like an Arizona joke!!!!!!!

> > Dear
> > Diary
> >
> > Just moved to Arizona !
> > Now this is a state that knows how to live.
> > Beautiful sunny
> > days, open skies, and breathtaking sunsets.
> > It is beautiful. I've finally
> > found my home. I love it here.
> >
> > June 14th:
> > Really heating up.
> > Got to 100 today. Not a problem. Live in
> >
> > an air-conditioned home, drive an
> > air-conditioned car. What a
> > pleasure to see the sun everyday like this.
> > I'm turning into a
> > sun worshipper.
> >
> > June
> > 30th:
> > Had the backyard landscaped with
> > western plants today. Lots of cactus and
> > rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more
> > mowing the lawn
> > for me. Another scorcher today, but I love it
> > here.
> >
> > July
> > 10th:
> > The temperature hasn't been below 105 all
> > week. How
> > do people get used to this kind of heat?
> > At least, it's kind of
> > windy though. But getting used to
> > the heat is taking longer
> > than I expected.
> >
> > July
> > 15th:
> > Fell asleep by the pool.
> > (Got 3rd degree burns over 60% of my
> > body).
> > Missed 3 days of work. What a dumb
> > thing to do. I learned my lesson
> > though. Got to respect the ol' sun in
> > a climate like this.
> >
> > July 20th:
> > I missed Fluffy (my cat)
> > sneaking into the
> > car when I left this morning. By the time I got
> > to the hot car at
> > noon, Fluffy had died and swollen up to
> > the size of a shopping bag, then popped like a
> > water
> > balloon. The car now smells like Kibbles and
> > Shits. I
> > learned my lesson though. No more pets in this
> > heat. Good ol'
> > Mr. Sun strikes again.
> >
> > July
> > 25th:
> > The wind sucks. It feels like a giant
> > freaking
> > blow dryer!! And, it's hot as hell.
> > The home air-conditioner is on the fritz
> > and the AC repairman charged
> > $200 just to drive by and tell me he needed to
> > order parts.
> >
> >
> >
> > July
> > 30th:
> > Been sleeping outside on the patio for 3
> > nights
> > now, $225,000 house and I can't even go
> > inside. Fluffy is the lucky one. Why
> > did I ever come here?
> >
> > Aug. 4th:
> > It's 115 degrees. Finally
> > got the air-conditioner fixed today.. It cost $1200
> > and gets
> > the temperature down to 85. I hate this
> > stupid state.
> >
> > Aug.
> > 8th:
> > If another wise ass cracks, 'Hot enough for
> > you today?' I'm going to strangle
> > him. Damn heat.
> > By the time I get to work, the radiator is
> > boiling over, my clothes
> > are soaking wet, and
> > I smell like baked cat!!
> >
> > Aug. 9th:
> > Tried to run some errands after
> > work. Wore shorts, and
> > when I sat on the seats in the car, I thought
> > my ass was on
> > fire. My skin melted to the seat. I lost
> > 2 layers of flesh and
> > all the hair on the back of my legs and
> > ass
> > . . . Now my car smells like burnt hair,
> > fried ass, and baked cat.
> >
> > Aug
> > 10th:
> > The weather report might as well be a damn
> > recording.
> > Hot and sunny. Hot
> > and sunny. Hot and sunny.
> > It's been too hot to
> > do anything for 2 damn months and the weatherman says
>
> > it might really warm
> > up next week. Doesn't it ever
> > rain in this damn state? Water
> > rationing will be next, so my $2700 worth of
> > cactus will just dry up
> > and blow away. Even the cactus can't live
> > in this damn heat.
> >
> > Aug.
> > 14th:
> > Welcome to HELL! Temperature
> >
> > got to 122
> > today. Cactus are dead.
> > Forgot to crack the window and blew the damn
> > windshield out of the car. The installer
> > came to fix it and guess what he asked
> > me??? "Hot enough for
> > you today?" My sister had to spend $1,500
> > to bail me out of jail.
> > Freaking
> > Arizona .
> > What kind of a sick demented idiot would want to
> > live here??
> >
> > Will write later to let you know how the trial
> > goes.