Blonde Joke of the day!

Blonde Joke of the day!

One hot summer day, a blonde came to town with her dog, tied it under the shade of a tree, and headed into a restaurant for something cold to drink.. Twenty minutes later, a policeman entered the restaurant and asked, 'Who owns the dog tied under that tree outside?'

The blonde said it was hers.

'Your dog seems to be in heat' the officer said.

The blonde replied, 'No way. She's cool 'cause she's tied up under that shade tree.'

The policeman said, 'No! You don't understand. Your dog needs to be Bred.'

'No way,' said the blonde. 'My dog doesn't need bread. She isn't hungry 'cause I fed her this mornin.'

The exasperated policeman said, 'NO! You don't understand. Your dog wants to have sex!'

(You gotta love this)

The blonde looked at the cop and said, 'Well, go ahead. I always wanted a police dog.'

14 Comments

4 years 14 weeks ago, 6:36 PM

zx12rmike

zx12rmike's picture

Rank:
President Pro Temp
Points:
7870
Join Date:
Dec 2008
Location:
commiefornia, United States
Oh shit, here we go!!

Oh shit, here we go!!

"We cannot defend freedom abroad by deserting it at home" Thomas Jefferson
4 years 14 weeks ago, 6:47 PM

Pkato

Pkato's picture

Rank:
General
Points:
3348
Join Date:
Aug 2008
Location:
Fort Walton Beach, Florida, United States
Civics Lesson

In a high school civics class, they were discussing the qualifications for becoming President of the United States. The requirements are pretty simple. The candidate must be a natural born citizen and at least 35 years old.

A blonde girl in the class piped up and began complaining about how unfair it was to require the candidate to be a natural born citizen. In her opinion, that made it impossible for many qualified people to run for the office. She went on and on, wrapping up her argument with "What makes a natural born citizen more qualified to be President than one born by C-Section?"

Patrolman Kato
Firearms stand next in importance to the Constitution itself.
They are the American people's liberty teeth and keystone
under independence. -- George Washington
4 years 14 weeks ago, 7:58 PM

Anonymous

LOL PKATOS WAS BETTER

NICE!

4 years 14 weeks ago, 8:31 PM

greg az

greg az's picture

Rank:
Secretary of Homeland Security
Points:
5873
Join Date:
Oct 2009
Location:
New York, NY, Maldives

Ebear..Thank you for the warm welcome to my brother, and good to see ya brother.

dubya.. I gave up on sci-fi.. even i have limits.. Think giant Mongolian worms is it.. (sheesh no ebear ya cant screw em) Least i dont think so..

My contribution to the "blond jokes".. and i have to credit Ecaman for sending this to me..

Couple blonds were laying on the beach in the gulf.. Let say Alabama.. So its getting dark, the moon comes out.. One blond says to the other.. Wow.. the Moon sure is beautiful.. which do you think is further away from us.. Miami, or the Moon..

Other blond says.. Hello... can you see Miami...

a man has to hold his word, hold his beliefs, and hold a good sight picture.
4 years 14 weeks ago, 8:46 PM

CharlesW

CharlesW's picture

Rank:
General
Points:
4860
Join Date:
Dec 2009
Location:
Live in the wilderness, Republic of Texas, United States

Giant Mongolian worms ?

A little rebellion is good medicine for the government Thomas Jefferson
4 years 14 weeks ago, 8:58 PM

greg az

greg az's picture

Rank:
Secretary of Homeland Security
Points:
5873
Join Date:
Oct 2009
Location:
New York, NY, Maldives

There another one coming on that is "sorta" bout our troops in the "stan" right now.. The other one was ok for a bit.. Then the sheriff picked up a 1911.. typical series 70 from the sights, so he's holding it up by a pencil thru the trigger guard.. says (you could see the empty mag well) .."yeah well here's our weapon, it's a 9MM, and the "clip" is gone"

This is the sorta thing that always gets me in trouble with Gloria.. i usually get the "Ok professor, its just a movie thing"... Sheesh.. Anyway the giant Mongolian worms were eating just about everything in site.. one old boy had a mag fed older rifle.. couldn't tell what it was.. but every time he shoot at a worm.. (they were eating up his pardners, and he wasn't all that concerned) anyway every time he shot the rifle it had a diffrent recoil.. Sometimes he acted like it was an Elephant gun, and some times like it was a 22.. Your up to speed my friend..

a man has to hold his word, hold his beliefs, and hold a good sight picture.
4 years 14 weeks ago, 9:12 PM

CharlesW

CharlesW's picture

Rank:
General
Points:
4860
Join Date:
Dec 2009
Location:
Live in the wilderness, Republic of Texas, United States

with auto mags on his belt

A little rebellion is good medicine for the government Thomas Jefferson
4 years 14 weeks ago, 9:14 PM

CharlesW

CharlesW's picture

Rank:
General
Points:
4860
Join Date:
Dec 2009
Location:
Live in the wilderness, Republic of Texas, United States
had to raid the frig

wife made potato salad

A little rebellion is good medicine for the government Thomas Jefferson
4 years 14 weeks ago, 8:35 PM

Pkato

Pkato's picture

Rank:
General
Points:
3348
Join Date:
Aug 2008
Location:
Fort Walton Beach, Florida, United States
Haha...good one

Three blondes were walking through the forest when they came upon a set of tracks.

The first blonde said, "Those are deer tracks."
The second blonde said, "No, those are elk tracks."
The third blonde said, "You're both wrong, those are moose tracks."
The blondes were still arguing when the train hit them.

Patrolman Kato
Firearms stand next in importance to the Constitution itself.
They are the American people's liberty teeth and keystone
under independence. -- George Washington
4 years 14 weeks ago, 8:37 PM

Pkato

Pkato's picture

Rank:
General
Points:
3348
Join Date:
Aug 2008
Location:
Fort Walton Beach, Florida, United States
ONe more

A young brunette goes into the doctor's office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it.

"Impossible," says the doctor. "Show me."

She takes her finger and pushes her elbow and screams in agony. She pushes her knee and screams, pushes her ankle and screams and so on it goes.

The doctor says, "You're not really a brunette are you?"

She says, "No, I'm really a blonde."

"I thought so," he says. "Your finger is broken."

Patrolman Kato
Firearms stand next in importance to the Constitution itself.
They are the American people's liberty teeth and keystone
under independence. -- George Washington
4 years 14 weeks ago, 9:42 PM

greg az

greg az's picture

Rank:
Secretary of Homeland Security
Points:
5873
Join Date:
Oct 2009
Location:
New York, NY, Maldives

I really do have to watch myself on this tho.. Gloria watches a "soap" every afternoon (outside of that a normal woman) .. Actually shes been watching this thing since she was a kid, so i sorta like it that it makes her happy..

Anyway.. They have ZERO invested in tech advisory.. Least if they are paying someone they should take it back.. All of them.. Good guys bad guys.. Copes, garbage men (you get the story) Carry the same piece.. What looks like a chrome plated Beretta 92.. So when they start blasting away.. boy howdy how the shoots do fly..

Potato salad sounds great.. did a frozen pizza..came out pretty good..

a man has to hold his word, hold his beliefs, and hold a good sight picture.
4 years 14 weeks ago, 9:47 PM

CharlesW

CharlesW's picture

Rank:
General
Points:
4860
Join Date:
Dec 2009
Location:
Live in the wilderness, Republic of Texas, United States

Lugers

A little rebellion is good medicine for the government Thomas Jefferson
4 years 14 weeks ago, 9:53 PM

raffycanlas

raffycanlas's picture

Rank:
General
Points:
2636
Join Date:
Nov 2008
Location:
New England Territory
haha

thats something my ex would say.

I'm just another damn yankee with a loaded gun looking for some fun!
4 years 14 weeks ago, 10:04 PM

greg az

greg az's picture

Rank:
Secretary of Homeland Security
Points:
5873
Join Date:
Oct 2009
Location:
New York, NY, Maldives
They even look cheap..

The ones we had in the dept. were at least good copies of Glocks, they were colored for safety sakes, but ok copies.. i'm thinking.. cause the shows shot in NYC.. that it's the least important thing to them.. nobody cept us guys whining..

see you guys later.. Im doing the asleep at the wheel thing again.. Just deleted four lines of ddddddddddddddd's..

TIme to hit the sack.. Night my friends..

a man has to hold his word, hold his beliefs, and hold a good sight picture.
samD's picture
Posted by: samD
4 years 14 weeks ago
Views:
812
Comments:
14

Rating Overview

User Rating:
(1 vote)
This text will be replaced

Recent Activity