Comparison of military operational tactics (Snake model)

Comparison of military operational tactics (Snake model)

Infantry:
Snake smells them, leaves area.

Airborne:
Lands on and kills the snake.

Armor:
Runs over snake, laughs, and looks for more snakes.

Aviation:
Has GPS coordinates to snake.
Can't find snake. Returns to base for refuel, crew rest and manicure.

Ranger:
Plays with snake, then eats it.

Field Artillery:
Kills snake with massive Time On Target barrage
with three Forward Artillery Brigades in support. Kills several
hundred civilians as unavoidable collateral damage. Mission is
considered a success and all participants (i.e., cooks, mechanics
and clerks) are awarded Silver Stars.

Special Forces:
Makes contact with snake, ignores all State
Department directives and Theater Commander Rules of Engagement by
building rapport with snake and winning its heart and mind. Trains it
to kill other snakes. Files enormous travel settlement upon return.

Combat Engineer:
Studies snake. Prepares in-depth doctrinal
thesis in obscure 5 series Field Manual about how to defeat snake using
counter mobility assets. Complains that maneuver forces don't
understand how to properly conduct doctrinal counter-snake ops.

Navy SEAL:
Expends all ammunition and calls for naval gunfire
support in failed attempt to kill snake. Snake bites SEAL and
retreats to safety. Hollywood makes fantasy film in which SEALS
kill snake.

Navy:
Fires off 50 cruise missiles from various types of ships,
kills snake and makes presentation to Senate Appropriations
Committee on how Naval forces are the most cost-effective means of
anti-snake Force projection.

Marine:
Kills snake by accident while looking for souvenirs.
Local civilians demand removal of all US forces from Area ofOperations.

Marine Recon:
Follows snake, gets lost.

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20 Comments

4 years 22 weeks ago, 1:40 PM

BigJitsu

BigJitsu's picture

Rank:
Lieutenant Colonel
Points:
81
Join Date:
Jun 2010
Location:
Ha try cornfield.., Illinois, United States
hey now..

You know us Guard can't be left out regardless of MOS....so here you are
National guard) Doesn't have to worry about snake for three weeks.Finds dead snake and returns home to tell a dramatic story of snake battle..

The one breathing didn't hesitate
4 years 22 weeks ago, 1:46 PM

catfish88

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Rank:
General
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2586
Join Date:
Jan 2009
Pretty funny Snake.

Pretty funny Snake.

4 years 22 weeks ago, 1:49 PM

Anonymous

LOL

4 years 22 weeks ago, 1:57 PM

HampsterW

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Rank:
Secretary of State
Points:
7723
Join Date:
Jan 2010
Location:
Cottonwood Heights, Utah, United States

Oh well, we would probably handle it in the same fashion as the Navy.

Change you can truly believe in comes from the barrel of a gun---------------------------------------------------------------------------------Ron Paul 2012----Vote the bastards out!---------------------------------
4 years 22 weeks ago, 2:03 PM

BigJitsu

BigJitsu's picture

Rank:
Lieutenant Colonel
Points:
81
Join Date:
Jun 2010
Location:
Ha try cornfield.., Illinois, United States
coast guard..

Flies around for days trying to spot snake..Search called off after 3 days ..

The one breathing didn't hesitate
4 years 22 weeks ago, 2:05 PM

Anonymous

Nice goin Bigjitsu

but what about the commander in cheif of all forces?

4 years 22 weeks ago, 2:07 PM

BigJitsu

BigJitsu's picture

Rank:
Lieutenant Colonel
Points:
81
Join Date:
Jun 2010
Location:
Ha try cornfield.., Illinois, United States
ha ha!!

Denies snake threat exist..Invites snake to country

The one breathing didn't hesitate
4 years 22 weeks ago, 2:08 PM

HampsterW

HampsterW's picture

Rank:
Secretary of State
Points:
7723
Join Date:
Jan 2010
Location:
Cottonwood Heights, Utah, United States
Comander in chief

would bow to the snake and then apologise on behalf of America for persecuting the snake!

Change you can truly believe in comes from the barrel of a gun---------------------------------------------------------------------------------Ron Paul 2012----Vote the bastards out!---------------------------------
4 years 22 weeks ago, 2:09 PM

Anonymous

Thanks guys

The story is complete.

4 years 22 weeks ago, 2:40 PM

clintlebo

clintlebo's picture


Rank:
General
Points:
2309
Join Date:
Aug 2008
Location:
land, of confusion, United States
samD versus snake

samD see snake, kills snake. Takes it over to Greasypaws to get twice BBQ snake recipe, talks about the government treading on them and how much tacticool stuff they have. Eats snake, posts story on forums.
Schuyler explains the life cycle of the snake, ebear and nitris talk about sex with snakes. LLE, CW, ecaman, vaquero, and greg talk about when they had the opportunity to kill a snake and how they prepared it for consumption. Hamp posts a picture and video of snakes at his house by his "project car".

then samD deletes this post because it is so messed up!!!

clint

p.s. I know there are a lot of you that I was unable to misrepresent, sorry, I'll try harder next time!!!

"Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us." (Calvin & Hobbes)
4 years 22 weeks ago, 3:43 PM

BigJitsu

BigJitsu's picture

Rank:
Lieutenant Colonel
Points:
81
Join Date:
Jun 2010
Location:
Ha try cornfield.., Illinois, United States
misrepresentation.

In an effort to help you to become better equipped. Since I'm fairly new here and haven't earned my spot on the list of the"misrepresented".. I will do so myself in hopes this will further my chances of being added to said list in the future..

BigJitsu will see the snake and throw cheap " one liners" , at the snake until it is dead..As it is now because this post is like 30 min old. Then lurk around corners of gunslot unknown . Until of course i see the chance to add a reply to a comment. With the current intention of getting to know everyone better..

Yeah i know it was lame but I don't know anyone on gunslot yet. Try not to destroy my feeble attempts at humor to bad . Ive seen your post's and man I have to give it to you , you have a mighty sharp tongue sir..

The one breathing didn't hesitate
4 years 22 weeks ago, 3:52 PM

HampsterW

HampsterW's picture

Rank:
Secretary of State
Points:
7723
Join Date:
Jan 2010
Location:
Cottonwood Heights, Utah, United States
Yeah, clint likes

to give us the verbal "kick in the balls" but we like him anyway.

Change you can truly believe in comes from the barrel of a gun---------------------------------------------------------------------------------Ron Paul 2012----Vote the bastards out!---------------------------------
4 years 22 weeks ago, 10:39 AM

clintlebo

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Rank:
General
Points:
2309
Join Date:
Aug 2008
Location:
land, of confusion, United States
they like me

they really like me

clint

"Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us." (Calvin & Hobbes)
4 years 22 weeks ago, 2:45 PM

Schuyler

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Nov 2008
Location:
Bainbridge Island, Washington, United States

but there'e only harmless garter snakes where he lives, then comes back on gunslot as if nothing ever happened.

"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing." - Edmund Burke
4 years 22 weeks ago, 2:47 PM

clintlebo

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Rank:
General
Points:
2309
Join Date:
Aug 2008
Location:
land, of confusion, United States
schuyler and his wit

that was awesome my friend, a pulse of pure genius yet again from the english language ninja!!

clint

"Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us." (Calvin & Hobbes)
4 years 22 weeks ago, 3:37 PM

ecaman

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Rank:
General
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2613
Join Date:
Jul 2009
Location:
Payson, UT, United States
Garter snakes

Anybody ever eat one?

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man. (Mark Twain).
4 years 22 weeks ago, 9:43 PM

OozeRat

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Major General
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672
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Feb 2010
Location:
West Jordan, Utah, United States

OozeRat sees snake doesn't know wtf to do runs home and asks his gunslot pals what is the most effective 9mm ammo for snakes.

Nothing is as risky as certain failure.
4 years 22 weeks ago, 10:38 AM

clintlebo

clintlebo's picture


Rank:
General
Points:
2309
Join Date:
Aug 2008
Location:
land, of confusion, United States
rattle snakes

I killed a rattler and brought it home to show off to my dad. He told me that in his family we do not waste meat, so if I was going to kill an animal, I had to eat it. Not to bad, a little dry and my dad's sense of humor is a little fucked up, but what are you gonna do besides eat snake...

clint

"Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us." (Calvin & Hobbes)
4 years 22 weeks ago, 10:53 AM

Reaper308

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Rank:
Secretary of Defense
Points:
6226
Join Date:
Jun 2008
Location:
Airstrip One, Oceania
ha ha ha

even snake's picture of the cobra is fake!

"Proelium Comminus Auctoritate" "Sometimes the light at the end of the tunnel is a muzzle flash."
4 years 22 weeks ago, 2:50 PM

Anonymous

Snake Model

Since its a Snake Model a Fake Snake is in order.

Anonymous's picture
Posted by: Anonymous
4 years 22 weeks ago
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