Infantry:
Snake smells them, leaves area.
Airborne:
Lands on and kills the snake.
Armor:
Runs over snake, laughs, and looks for more snakes.
Aviation:
Has GPS coordinates to snake.
Can't find snake. Returns to base for refuel, crew rest and manicure.
Ranger:
Plays with snake, then eats it.
Field Artillery:
Kills snake with massive Time On Target barrage
with three Forward Artillery Brigades in support. Kills several
hundred civilians as unavoidable collateral damage. Mission is
considered a success and all participants (i.e., cooks, mechanics
and clerks) are awarded Silver Stars.
Special Forces:
Makes contact with snake, ignores all State
Department directives and Theater Commander Rules of Engagement by
building rapport with snake and winning its heart and mind. Trains it
to kill other snakes. Files enormous travel settlement upon return.
Combat Engineer:
Studies snake. Prepares in-depth doctrinal
thesis in obscure 5 series Field Manual about how to defeat snake using
counter mobility assets. Complains that maneuver forces don't
understand how to properly conduct doctrinal counter-snake ops.
Navy SEAL:
Expends all ammunition and calls for naval gunfire
support in failed attempt to kill snake. Snake bites SEAL and
retreats to safety. Hollywood makes fantasy film in which SEALS
kill snake.
Navy:
Fires off 50 cruise missiles from various types of ships,
kills snake and makes presentation to Senate Appropriations
Committee on how Naval forces are the most cost-effective means of
anti-snake Force projection.
Marine:
Kills snake by accident while looking for souvenirs.
Local civilians demand removal of all US forces from Area ofOperations.
Marine Recon:
Follows snake, gets lost.
20 Comments
BigJitsu
You know us Guard can't be left out regardless of MOS....so here you are
National guard) Doesn't have to worry about snake for three weeks.Finds dead snake and returns home to tell a dramatic story of snake battle..
catfish88
Pretty funny Snake.
Anonymous
LOL
HampsterW
Oh well, we would probably handle it in the same fashion as the Navy.
BigJitsu
Flies around for days trying to spot snake..Search called off after 3 days ..
Anonymous
but what about the commander in cheif of all forces?
BigJitsu
Denies snake threat exist..Invites snake to country
HampsterW
would bow to the snake and then apologise on behalf of America for persecuting the snake!
Anonymous
The story is complete.
clintlebo
samD see snake, kills snake. Takes it over to Greasypaws to get twice BBQ snake recipe, talks about the government treading on them and how much tacticool stuff they have. Eats snake, posts story on forums.
Schuyler explains the life cycle of the snake, ebear and nitris talk about sex with snakes. LLE, CW, ecaman, vaquero, and greg talk about when they had the opportunity to kill a snake and how they prepared it for consumption. Hamp posts a picture and video of snakes at his house by his "project car".
then samD deletes this post because it is so messed up!!!
clint
p.s. I know there are a lot of you that I was unable to misrepresent, sorry, I'll try harder next time!!!
BigJitsu
In an effort to help you to become better equipped. Since I'm fairly new here and haven't earned my spot on the list of the"misrepresented".. I will do so myself in hopes this will further my chances of being added to said list in the future..
BigJitsu will see the snake and throw cheap " one liners" , at the snake until it is dead..As it is now because this post is like 30 min old. Then lurk around corners of gunslot unknown . Until of course i see the chance to add a reply to a comment. With the current intention of getting to know everyone better..
Yeah i know it was lame but I don't know anyone on gunslot yet. Try not to destroy my feeble attempts at humor to bad . Ive seen your post's and man I have to give it to you , you have a mighty sharp tongue sir..
HampsterW
to give us the verbal "kick in the balls" but we like him anyway.
clintlebo
they really like me
clint
Schuyler
but there'e only harmless garter snakes where he lives, then comes back on gunslot as if nothing ever happened.
clintlebo
that was awesome my friend, a pulse of pure genius yet again from the english language ninja!!
clint
ecaman
Anybody ever eat one?
OozeRat
OozeRat sees snake doesn't know wtf to do runs home and asks his gunslot pals what is the most effective 9mm ammo for snakes.
clintlebo
I killed a rattler and brought it home to show off to my dad. He told me that in his family we do not waste meat, so if I was going to kill an animal, I had to eat it. Not to bad, a little dry and my dad's sense of humor is a little fucked up, but what are you gonna do besides eat snake...
clint
Reaper308
even snake's picture of the cobra is fake!
Anonymous
Since its a Snake Model a Fake Snake is in order.