From the Desk of Jeff Ashby

From the Desk of Jeff Ashby

Things A Southerner Would Never Say:

1. Oh I just couldn't. Hell, she's only sixteen.
2. I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex.
3. Duct tape won't fix that.
4. Lisa Marie was lucky to catch Michael.
5. Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken.
6. We don't keep firearms in this house.
7. Has anybody seen the sideburns trimmer?
8. You can't feed that to the dog.
9. I thought Graceland was tacky.
10. No kids in the back of the pickup, it's just not safe.
11. Wrasslin's fake.
12. Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?
13. We're vegetarians.
14. Do you think my gut is too big?
15. I'll have grapefruit and grapes instead of biscuits and gravy.
16. Honey, we don't need another dog.
17. Who's Richard Petty?
18. Give me the small bag of pork rinds.
19. Too many deer heads detract from the decor.
20. Spittin is such a nasty habit.

5 Comments

4 years 14 weeks ago, 6:18 PM

Lyle Hutchins 1

Lyle Hutchins 1's picture

Rank:
Lieutenant General
Points:
1261
Join Date:
Feb 2009
Location:
Cee-more, Ok., United States
Jeffashbyjr

Jeffashbyjr, you sombich, That sounds like all the guys I work with!!!!!
That is great!!
Lyle

Lyle Hutchinson
4 years 14 weeks ago, 6:23 PM

Schuyler

Schuyler's picture

Rank:
General
Points:
3905
Join Date:
Nov 2008
Location:
Bainbridge Island, Washington, United States

Umm, jalapenos is not a good idea. Trust me. If you do, make sure he doesn't sleep on a rug or carpet. Otherwise, I'm with you. He'll eat anything with no remorse--including cat shit.

"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing." - Edmund Burke
4 years 14 weeks ago, 6:28 PM

Lyle Hutchins 1

Lyle Hutchins 1's picture

Rank:
Lieutenant General
Points:
1261
Join Date:
Feb 2009
Location:
Cee-more, Ok., United States
Schuy

My dog just passed some tinfoil !!!!!!
Ooooouch!! sharp corners!!
Lyle

Lyle Hutchinson
4 years 14 weeks ago, 9:43 PM

ecaman

ecaman's picture

Rank:
General
Points:
2613
Join Date:
Jul 2009
Location:
Payson, UT, United States
Jeff

I'm living in Utah now, although I grew up in Texas. You can ask Hampster or OozeRat, but there are LOTS of guys like that out here.
Thank God there are plenty of guys like Hamp and Dave here too, or I'd just flat ass go postal!

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man. (Mark Twain).
4 years 14 weeks ago, 10:37 PM

Larry Wagner

Larry Wagner's picture

Rank:
Lieutenant General
Points:
1860
Join Date:
Nov 2009
Location:
Arizona, United States
Jeff

I'm stealing this & going to send it to family & friends in WVA & MD hills, describes them, & us to a TEE. Good one.

Any day above dirt is a good day!!! My New Motto: Where Do I Sign? (Oh yes I would)
Jeffashbyjr's picture
Posted by: Jeffashbyjr
4 years 14 weeks ago
Views:
627
Comments:
5

Rating Overview

This text will be replaced

Recent Activity