From the Desk of Jeff Ashby

From the Desk of Jeff Ashby

Colonoscopy's

Colonoscopies are no joke, but these comments during this exam were quite
humorous. A physician claimed that the following are actual comments
made by his patients (predominately male) while he was performing their
colonoscopy:

1. "Take it easy, Doc. You're boldly going where no man has gone
before!"
2. "Find Amelia Earhart yet?"
3. "Can you hear me NOW?"
4. "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"
5. "You know, in Arkansas, we're now legally married."
6. "Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?"
7. "You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out..."
8. "Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!"
9. "If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!
10. "Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity."
11. "You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?"
12. "God, Now I know why I am not gay."
And the best one of all . . .
13. "Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up
there?"

HORSE RACE
LINE UP AND ODDS

In lane 1. Passionate Lady @ 2 to1
In lane 2. Bare Belly @ 4 to 1
In lane 3. Silk Panties @ 8 to 1
In lane 4. Conscience @ 100 t0 1
In lane 5. Jockey Shorts @ 10 to 1
In lane 6. Clean Sheets @ 25 to 1
In lane 7. Thighs @ 15 to 1
In lane 8. Big Dick @ 2 to 5
In lane 9. Heavy Bosom @ 12 to 1
In lane 10. Merry Cherry @ 50 to 1
AND THEY'RE OFF!!!
Conscience is left behind at the gate.
Jockey Shorts and Silk Panties are off in a hurry.
Heavy Bosom is being pressured.
Passionate Lady is caught between Thighs and
Big Dick is in a dangerous spot.
AT THE HALFWAY MARK:
It's Bare Belly on top, Thighs open and
Big Dick is pushing in.
Heavy Bosom is being pushed hard against Clean Sheets.
Passionate Lady and Thighs are working hard on Bare Belly.
Bare Belly is under terrific pressure from Big Dick.
AT THE TURN
Merry Cherry pops under the strain.
Silk Panties and Jockey shorts are no longer in the picture
Bare Belly is making a final push.
Big Dick is in and Passionate Lady is coming.
AT THE STRETCH:
It's Big Dick taking charge
Passionate Lady continues to take all Big Dick can offer.
Bare Belly buckles under the pressure
As Thighs are forced wide
AT THE FINISH
It looks like a dead heat but Big Dick comes
through with one final thrust and wins by a head
Bare Belly shows
Thighs continue to fall back
Heavy Bosom pulls up
And Clean Sheets never had a chance.

More From Jeffashbyjr

1 Comment

6 years 21 weeks ago, 2:29 PM

luckybychoice

luckybychoice's picture


Rank:
Secretary of the Treasury
Points:
6793
Join Date:
May 2009
Location:
United States
god damiit jeff

i thought i was gonna see a picture of you sitting behind a desk,booted off the tuna boat,so to speak.Thats some funny shit right there!

i tried being reasonable,i didn't like it, NRA LIFE MEMBER,USMC VETERAN
Jeffashbyjr's picture
Posted by: Jeffashbyjr
6 years 21 weeks ago
Views:
3,156
Comments:
1

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