Hey, It's Tax Time !!!

Hey, It's Tax Time !!!

A woman walks into an accountant's office and tells him that she needs to file her taxes.

The accountant says, "Before we begin, I'll need to ask you a few questions." He gets her name, address, social security number, etc. and then asks, "What is your occupation?"

"I'm a whore," she says.

The accountant is somewhat taken aback and says, "No, no, no; that won't work. Let's try to rephrase that."

The woman says, "OK, I'm a call girl."

"No, that still won't work. Try again."

They both think for a moment and the woman says, "I'm an elite chicken farmer."

The accountant asks, "What does chicken farming have to do with being a prostitute?"

"Well, I raised a thousand little peckers last year."

"Chicken farmer it is."

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16 Comments

4 years 15 weeks ago, 7:36 PM

zx12rmike

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Since the topic of this joke is taxes. If you take your stuff to H&R BLOCK. Make sure you double check the info. I thought I was going to pay in several hundred dollars (first time in 20 years). My wife went to a different H&R BLOCK office and now I have received a 1,200.00 refund. Trust NO ONE with your stuff NO ONE.

"We cannot defend freedom abroad by deserting it at home" Thomas Jefferson
4 years 15 weeks ago, 7:39 PM

Vaquero

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damn Mike!

That aint chump change to us workin folk.
See how well it pays to be good to your woman and EARN a living.

The truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth!
4 years 15 weeks ago, 7:46 PM

zx12rmike

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Well, I am not bragging, but, before I started having problems with the mortgage, I would normally average 6k to 8k back. This the first time in 10 years my refund has been less than 5k. I am not making as much money as before. The company I work for has severely limited my overtime. I pretty much only work 40 to 45 hours a week, Compared with 60 to 70. The first summer I worked out in the field, I worked 4 months straight WITHOUT a day off, averaging 86 hours per week during that time. My wife has paper to prove this!

"We cannot defend freedom abroad by deserting it at home" Thomas Jefferson
4 years 15 weeks ago, 7:49 PM

zx12rmike

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p.s. I worked a lot so that my wife could stay home and so we could raise our own kids,no latch key kids here. I actually made it to half of the soccer, basketball, baseball and whatever games.

"We cannot defend freedom abroad by deserting it at home" Thomas Jefferson
4 years 15 weeks ago, 7:53 PM

Vaquero

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Mike

Believe me.
I understand cooling south of the Mason/Dixon.
You provide a valuable service.

The truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth!
4 years 15 weeks ago, 8:23 PM

OozeRat

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Since we're on the topic of taxes, I tried a little experiment and mailed off my tax forms and my cw permit application on the same day to see who was faster the IRS or the BCI. I found out today, the IRS is actually faster (shocking, I know). I should be excited to get my return but the only stipulation my wife made when I told her I was buying a gun was that I get my cw permit first.

Nothing is as risky as certain failure.
4 years 15 weeks ago, 9:02 PM

HampsterW

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Ooze rat, yep, BCI

is quicker for sure, they take the 60 days "thing" seriously but, if you take your application into the DPS and hand deliver it, it will shave two weeks off of your app.

Change you can truly believe in comes from the barrel of a gun---------------------------------------------------------------------------------Ron Paul 2012----Vote the bastards out!---------------------------------
4 years 15 weeks ago, 8:24 PM

zx12rmike

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Gotta love that woman

Gotta love that woman yeeeeha.

"We cannot defend freedom abroad by deserting it at home" Thomas Jefferson
4 years 15 weeks ago, 8:31 PM

Vaquero

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no offense mike

If you don't, somebody will.
Take good care of her.
I miss mine every night we are apart.

The truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth!
4 years 15 weeks ago, 8:50 PM

zx12rmike

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that's what I'm talking about, a good woman is hard to find. mine was third time was the charm.

"We cannot defend freedom abroad by deserting it at home" Thomas Jefferson
4 years 15 weeks ago, 8:54 PM

Vaquero

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Dang right

I consider myself to be extremely lucky.
Thats right, skill had nothing to do with it, not intelligence, not looks, just blind luck!
Keeper!

The truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth!
4 years 15 weeks ago, 8:28 PM

Vaquero

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oozerat

Well my friend.
Taxes count as much as anything, you are well on your way to concealed carry and the joys of gun ownership.
Believe me, if you don't get a return..... you don't get a permit!
At least I hope not.

The truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth!
4 years 15 weeks ago, 9:43 PM

luckybychoice

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speaking of taxs

fuck HR Block,go to a real CPA,someone that is a financial advisor as well,the cost of having a professional CPA do your taxes is tax deductable anyway and if they have financial planning skills instead of you getting a big refund,you will be able to invest that money and get a better return,they should be able to help you manage your money year round not just at tax time.

i tried being reasonable,i didn't like it, NRA LIFE MEMBER,USMC VETERAN
4 years 15 weeks ago, 9:50 PM

CharlesW

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Live in the wilderness, Republic of Texas, United States

My kind of money isn't worth investing.
A big lump sum means a new gun.
What better investment could you want ?

A little rebellion is good medicine for the government Thomas Jefferson
4 years 15 weeks ago, 9:46 PM

Vaquero

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LBC

Ditto.
Go local and go often.

The truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth!
4 years 15 weeks ago, 9:59 PM

ecaman

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Taxes

You're right, LBC. I go to a guy named Mike Beck, in American Fork, UT. He's saved me mucho money 3 years running.
Also, after talking with him, I switched my investments from Fidelity to a firm he recommended, and it's really paying off.
Hampster & Ooze Rat, it's not far from where you live, just south a ways on I-15.
By the way, he's also a gun guy.

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man. (Mark Twain).
samD's picture
Posted by: samD
4 years 15 weeks ago
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