How to shower like a MAN/WOMAN

How to shower like a MAN/WOMAN

How To Shower Like A Woman

Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.

Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah wide loofah and pumice stone. Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean. Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced.

Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. Rinse conditioner off hair. Shave armpits and legs. Turn off shower. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

How To Shower Like a Man:

Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the 'woo-woo' sound.

Look at your manly physique in the mirror.

Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your ass.

Get in the shower. Wash your face. Wash your armpits. Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.

Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. Pee. Rinse off and get out of shower.

Partially dry off. Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. Admire wiener size in mirror again. Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound again.

Throw wet towel on bed.

If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something so very wrong with you.

4 Comments

6 years 18 weeks ago, 11:44 PM

greg az

greg az's picture

Rank:
Secretary of Homeland Security
Points:
5873
Join Date:
Oct 2009
Location:
New York, NY, Ascension Island

and no comments... Brother you had me blowing snot laughing at this one... i love it..

AND!!

It's dead solid on the money right.. I'm guessing sister Ace is about as normal a gal as they come, but still spends three times what the average man on here does taking care of herself..and thats a bassackward compliment acy..

Gloria washes her face three to four times a day.. and the whole beauty product regime you talked about..

I take a shower every other day..It's face, pits, and privates.. takes me maybe 3 min... only cause 1 min of that is peeing.. The alternate day its face, pits, and privates.. and have found the T Shirt your wearing works as good as anything to wash and rinse with..

Also whats the deal with washing the towel... my baby washes towels 4 times a week... i wash mine once a week, and only cause i know I'll hear about it if i don't.,, Duh.. the towel is clean right...

Glad to hear someone else is proud of what he's got hang'n.. and the woo woo (with a proud expression of course) is spot on happens a couple of times a day around here.. The fact that its met with derisive laughter doesn't bother me at all... Great post Jeff...

a man has to hold his word, hold his beliefs, and hold a good sight picture.
6 years 18 weeks ago, 5:53 AM

HKBauer

HKBauer's picture

Rank:
Lieutenant General
Points:
1532
Join Date:
Jul 2010
Location:
United States
WOO WOO!

Good one Jeff!

6 years 18 weeks ago, 8:52 AM

HampsterW

HampsterW's picture

Rank:
Secretary of State
Points:
7723
Join Date:
Jan 2010
Location:
Cottonwood Heights, Utah, United States
WOO WOO,

great post Jeff and too true, this hit's the nail on the head.

Change you can truly believe in comes from the barrel of a gun---------------------------------------------------------------------------------Ron Paul 2012----Vote the bastards out!---------------------------------
6 years 18 weeks ago, 9:14 AM

greg az

greg az's picture

Rank:
Secretary of Homeland Security
Points:
5873
Join Date:
Oct 2009
Location:
New York, NY, Ascension Island

i suggest that from this time further all showers are refered to as woo woo time..

Look at it this way, its not like we could get any odder around here, and i sorta like the idea..

ok guys, woo woo time... see ya all later...

a man has to hold his word, hold his beliefs, and hold a good sight picture.
Jeffashbyjr's picture
Posted by: Jeffashbyjr
6 years 18 weeks ago
Views:
1,349
Comments:
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