How many members of your sign does it take to change a light bulb?
Aries: Just one. You want to make something of it?
Taurus: One, but just try to convince them that the burned-out bulb is useless and should be thrown away.
Gemini: Two, but the job never gets done they just keep discussing who is supposed to do it and how it's supposed to be done!
Cancer: Just one. But it takes a therapist three years to help them through the grieving process.
Leo: Leos don't change light bulbs, although sometimes their agent will get a Virgo in to do the job for them while they're out.
Virgo: Approximately 1.000000 with an error of +/- 1 millionth.
Libra: Er, two. Or maybe one. No, on second thought, make that two. Is that O.K. with you?
Scorpio: That information is strictly secret and shared only with the Enlightened Ones in the Star Chamber of the Ancient Hierarchical Order.
Sagittarius: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned-out light bulb?
Capricorn: I don't waste my time with these childish jokes.
Aquarius: Well, you have to remember that everything is energy, so...
Pisces: Light bulb? What light bulb?
14 Comments
samD
some of the lesser signs to do it for us!
Bigshot Nobody
this fit her just right. I proved her wrong tho.
ACE
Im not sure if I agree with that dadgummit!!!! I can get the job done, And I might bitch about it, but IDK about the therapy shit or not!!!
photobear6
even my Psychologist told me that
samD
a Scorpio is never wrong, except if they marry a Virgo. My 1st ex-wife (Plaintive) was hard to deal with. Preconceived notions about everything.
Bigshot Nobody
This is a true story. right after we married and got our first house. (Mind you I met her in church) she showed me her small, but nice, trophies for sharpshooting and other contests(against men of course).
And her adventures as Civil Air Patrol (until she cut all her hair off and her son didn't want to go anymore because she looked like a dude then. AND I found out about this story wayyyyyyy down the road).
And a story about a wilderness survival that she went one with some dumbass leader who took them out with zero degree real feel on a winter survival. And she was the one who saved everyone with her skills/knowledge to get then thru the night. Dumbass leader was relieved of command??
SO! in our first house (me being Eagle Scout and longtime living off the land already known, I thought I'd let her go ahead at the fireplace. Man she put 1 (one), 1 ! giant log in the fireplace with some couple wadded up news papers in front of it and was lighting that. I turned around and she saw the look on my face and said "well I haven't done it in a long time." She couldn't hear what I was thinking, but it was ("WTF have I just done" "I know this isn't going to turn out good I'm sure" "I've been had")
catfish88
Bigshot, yea, funny how those little voices in our heads tell us something, only it's already too late or we don't listen until too late. Been there and done that a few dozen times.
catfish88
Libra...I don't think I agree with this. Or maybe I do. I don't know...do you guys think I should agree with this??
ACE
U sounded like my youngest just then!!! How the hell were you not in a lot of trouble growing up????
catfish88
ACE, I was a good boy growing up. Never got into trouble. Only time was when I was 14 and stole my mom's car to drive 15 miles to see my girlfriend at 12 a.m. I was a brave little bastard. Only got a kiss out of it, but at the time, it was worth it.
ACE
I guess its just girl Libra's. Paeten is soooooooo predictable when I see her around her friends, as in what do you wanna do?? OH???? What do you wanna do?? REALLY???? How 'bout you???? ( in the back ground she hears, "that sounds cool" and "Im with ya") now her: ......... Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm OK!!!! Shes very impressionable of her friends and peers, because she doesnt wanna look like the odd ball, and wants to do what everybody else is doing. I wish she would just be herself, and not a brunette version of Sally. Maybe/hopefully one of these days!!!
catfish88
ACE, some of that she will grow out of. As long as she aint stealin cars to go see boys, your doing alright.
luckybychoice
i took to see "last house on the left",during the movie she'd say"i know whats gonna happen now" and would ruin the scene for everyone around us talking,then the next build up to some grisly murder scene and she'd again say"i know whats gonna happen now",i couldn't wait to get her out of there,ruined the movie with her blabbing.
so we get out to the parking lot,i opened the door to the back seat,looked her in the eye and said"you know whats gonna happen now?
Bigshot Nobody
funny sh*t there guys. Mine was only balanced out by the girls mom being Libra (also met in Church)
EVERY TIME we went out and had great fun,,, she'd find some way to F it all up so she wouldn't ever be leaning too far to the good side. I just quit doing big surprises, always got my teeth kicked in.
I'm happy now with my little RaGe 'N CaJiN. (you know .....when ever she comes around hehe)